Life As A Clay Jar

Miracles Still Happen!

2011-09-29T09:43:00.002-04:00

Last night something happened that 6 weeks ago I really didn't think would be possible... I'll spare you repeating the details of Zack's injury (you can scroll down to other posts if you've missed what happened to him), but in those initial weeks, I prayed hoping, but honestly, I was struggling to believe it would really happen... It wasn't a question of whether or not God could heal him quickly, but I also knew that God doesn't always choose to intervene in the natural course of life and I had to come to a place where that was ok too...

I learned that letting go and opening your hand to whatever God has planned is a process... a moment by moment decision, not a one time act... I learned that when I trust God and believe He is good, no matter what the circumstances look like, it is a much easier place to walk than struggling against what life holds... Joy is a choice and it will flood into our hearts when we let go and just let God be God...

I am so thankful that God has chosen to intervene in the natural course of healing and last night Zack played in his first game of his senior year... If you could have seen the initial wound, you would understand why this is truly a miracle... (If you want to see it, let me know and we'll text you a photo... just be prepared though, you'll get an anatomy lesson on the lower part of the leg!)

Thought you might like to see some photos...

Back in his role as one of the captains...

Waiting to go onto the field... I can't even describe how fast my heart was beating! There's something so lonely about this picture to me... It was a hard thing to do, and yet it was something he had to do by himself... As a mom, I wanted to hug him... tell him to 'kick butt'... encourage him... but it was one of those moments where all I could do was watch and pray...

His best friend (who is our goalie) game him a hug when he came onto the field (so did R's younger brother)... I love those boys!! It was special to watch his teammates welcome him back! They are a great group of guys!!

His first big quick... The inside of his right ankle is where the injury is so it takes the full impact of almost everything... It looked great after the game though!!

His first foul... the other team was screaming for a Yellow Card... Zack is back!

I was really dreading his first slide tackle!

Zack had great care... He used wisdom in caring for his injury... He had a fantastic doctor... But my greatest thanks is to everyone who prayed for him because ultimately, all of this was in God's hands... And while I am so thankful to have the blessing and pleasure of watching him play in his senior season, I am even more thankful for all the terrible things that were avoided... Infection...skin graft... I could go on and on... To God be the glory...

It Wasn't Luck!

2011-09-19T09:04:00.001-04:00

So I’ll just say at the start, if you’re reading this post (it’s going to be a long one) and you’re not a Christian, you will probably find it an odd post… Well, you probably find most of my posts odd, weird, or whatever other term you might have for someone who lives by their faith… But that’s ok… Because when I look back on the day of Zack’s accident, and all that has happened since, I think it’s odd to say what happened to him was luck, or simply good fortune…

Remembering is an important act in the Christian faith… In remembering, our faith grows. We look back and we can see how God has intervened in situations, how He has done things that couldn’t possibly be luck or coincidence, and our faith grows… If you were to go back and read our adoption story with Abby, you would see the hand of God at work… The story of how Nick got into Southlake… And on the day of Zack’s accident, God’s handprint was everywhere... So today, I want to take a minute and remember and just be thankful....

This wasn’t a little accident that happened to Zack… A 1300 pound piece of equipment ran up the lower part of his leg… He had just tripped and fallen on a pallet about 6 inches high… So part of his leg was on concrete and part of it was at an angle, unsupported by anything, and not one single bone snapped, broke, or even cracked a little…

From that sitting down position, with his leg at an odd angle, Zack was able to lift up on that 1300 pound piece of machinery, and with upper body strength alone, he was able to push it off of his leg. It’s important to understand that he lifted it up… The top part of his wound is much deeper than the part over the ankle bone, if he had not lifted up, it would have taken out his ankle bone… Psalm 91:11 says, “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways…” There are some unusual notions in the world today about angels. I don’t buy into them, because they go far beyond what Scripture teaches us about angels, but when I look back at that day with Zack, I believe Psalm 91:11!

Adrenaline can only go so far in explaining how a 17 year old boy, from a sitting down position, with a heavy piece of equipment on his leg, could not only push the equipment off of his leg, but lift it up and push it off… His boss said that he doubted that Scott and himself together could have lifted it…

If you have a weak stomach, I’m not sure you want to read this next part, but it’s the part that every time I think about it I am filled with gratitude … The treads of the machine cut down into his leg, chewing up his leg from just below his calf, to over the top of his ankle…(It’s the inside right leg) When he looked down, he could literally see the blood pulsing through both of his arteries on either side of the wound… The nurse told me this week that if those two arteries had been cut, he would have bled out pretty quickly… One artery wouldn’t have been as bad, but my mom (who is also a nurse) said, that even a trained medical person would have had a hard time stopping the bleeding of two… That tread that did so much damage, cut cleanly between those two arteries, it didn’t even nick one of them!

But then, as we learned later when the ER doctor gave my husband an anatomy lesson on the lower part of Zack’s leg, the bone was exposed, both ligaments over the ankle and the main tendon that runs down the front of the leg… It missed everything that would have impacted his ability to walk!

That day, he was working on a job at my friend’s house and another friend, who is a trained nurse, stopped by… She had had no plans to go to my friend’s house that day… Her husband even asked her why she was going… But in a text to me the day after it happened, she said she told her husband that “she just felt led” (that inner prompting to do something that I truly believe has a source that is greater than emotion or indigestion!)… She knew exactly what to do to keep Zack from going into shock!

Zack is a soccer player, it’s his senior year and he had been named a captain, something he had worked hard for these last few years… Of course that was his first thought and one of the EMT’s in the ambulance was a soccer player… She encouraged him and she understood his heartbreak…

The nurse assigned to him was the head of the Pediatric Sedation Committee at the hospital… She was an advocate for Zack and his treatment… She was our angel in the ER. The ER doctors were great in the long run, but they actually considered the possibility of cleaning out the wound and just stitching him up in the ER… Every fiber of my being wanted to scream at them, “You’re crazy!” But I just prayed about the wisdom to know what to fight for, when to fight and when to be quiet… It was that wonderful nurse who was outside the room fighting for Zack… You see, they could sedate him, but not put him to sleep in the ER… What needed to be done to him was excruciating, he needed to be put to sleep and that’s what she fought for!

While I was desperately praying for wisdom for the doctors, a friend of mine had called her brother-in-law who is a plastic surgeon. He drove out of his way to come to the hospital and ‘just happened’ to be there when the ER doctors gave us their treatment plan… He was able to assure us that they were doing the right thing… Later, he would play an important part in confirming for us that prayers had been answered… He also said it was the dirtiest wound he had ever seen… It was full of mud, rocks and mulch, yet there was never even a hint of infection!

We were told that because so much of the tissue had been chewed up, they would most likely put in a wound vac and in a couple of weeks do a skin graft… In surgery the next day, the surgeon closed it… The plastic surgeon I was just telling you about said, “The only reason they were able to close that wound is because prayers were answered.” We went 4 weeks before we knew for certain that he wouldn’t need a graft… 4 weeks of literally watching a serious wound heal (from the inside out) before our eyes… We have literally had the blessing of watching prayers be answered every day…

There are so many other ‘little’ things I could tell you about… But what I hope and pray that you see is that Zack was NOT lucky… He was blessed and he was protected… I don’t know why God chooses to do things the way He does… It has nothing to do with us… And this is where faith comes in… It has EVERYTHING to do with God’s plan, His mercy, His goodness…

A very long time ago, in the Garden of Eden, mankind opened a door for sin and suffering and death to enter in and every day we feel the effects of that open door… Zack got hurt that day because of the world we live in… God wasn’t snoozing on the job… He wasn’t punishing anyone for anything… It’s just what happens because we live in a ‘fallen’ world… But that day, for whatever reason, God cupped His hands around Zack and said, “This far and no further…”

Tomorrow it could be a different story, it has been for some friends of mine lately, but even my friend whose husband was tragically killed in an accident last week, found the courage to sing these words at his funeral… “Blessed be the name of the LORD… He gives and takes away… My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your Name.”

God is good… It’s not luck… And I am grateful that I don’t live my life at the whim of an unfriendly universe… Instead, I can walk in joy and confidence because I live my life in the hand of a great and mighty God, who loves me beyond my wildest imagination and who takes trials and tragedy and turns them into triumph… Since I can only speak for myself, I will always be grateful for how God has used this trial in our life… And forever Zack’s leg will be a ‘remembering stone’ to all of us that God is at work in the world and miracles do still happen.

Before The Chaff Can Be Separated...

2011-09-14T14:23:00.000-04:00

As I stood in church this past Sunday, it hit me how tired I was… I often find myself in survival mode, doing whatever has to be done but not really living. But I’m starting to learn that to really live, to really experience life, we have to acknowledge the good and the bad… Not just live the good and survive the bad…

So as I considered how tired I was, an image came to mind from one of my trips to Africa…

I love this picture of the gogo (grandmother) chaffing the corn… I love the cloud of dry, useless chaff as it blows away… I love that the good part that’s left will nourish the children… I love that it only takes a gentle wind to blow the chaff away…

But then something hit me… There is so much more to that picture, something had to happen before the chaff could be separated… It’s the part that I don’t like to think about, it’s the part where I usually find myself struggling, or at the very least, just surviving… It’s the part where the corn has to be beaten, or threshed, so the chaff can be loosened.

So as I stood there on Sunday, I realized that that was why I’m so tired… Physically tired, but even more so emotionally… If you follow my blog, you know our oldest son was hurt pretty seriously a few weeks ago… But in addition to that, there has been a multitude of small, but unusual annoyances on top of it, not even worth listing, but draining on our finances, our time and even our sleep…

However, as I reflect back over the last few weeks, I can see that God truly has been taking this threshing from life and He has been gently blowing away the worthless attitudes, beliefs and habits that weigh me down and keep me from being the person He created me to be…(I’ll share more of that over the next couple of weeks…)

As we’ve walked through these last few weeks with Zack, I’ve learned something that I think will forever change my life… When tough things happen, I have a choice… I can let them rob me of so much…joy and peace… my faith and trust... OR I can take back from them… I can learn from them… I can grow in my relationship with my Abba Father and those around me… I can let God use them to shape me into the person He created me to be…

The bottom line is that when we submit to the ‘threshings’ of life, instead of resisting them, trying to escape from them or fighting against them, we WIN… what is intended for evil becomes an instrument to bring about good in our lives and the lives of others and ultimately it is used for the glory of God!

THE END of the DMV Story...

2011-09-08T12:07:00.001-04:00

Before I tell you what happened today at the DMV, I just have to tell you what Nick told me that happened in the testing area while he was waiting for me (to fail my road test last week)...

A very, VERY senior lady came in to renew her license... She couldn't read the first three lines of the vision test... So she said, "Wait, let me try these other glasses." At which point she pulled out a pair of glasses that were so big Nick thought they were sunglasses. The DMV officer said, "Mam, you do wear those glasses when you drive don't you?" "Oh, no... they told me I didn't have to." "But mam, your license clearly says that you HAVE to wear those glasses."

Conclusion, she's been driving around for 4-8 years, however long she's had her current license, NOT wearing the glasses that help her see. And then from there, she proceeded to miss most of the signs on her sign test... And yep, you probably already guessed it... they renewed her license!!

So today, I needed my license, Zack needed his over 18 license and Nick still needed to get his permit, so Scott decided to take us all (he was concerned if I failed again, they might not let me drive home!)...

We arrived at the same office as last week to find a note on the door that they were closed today for employee training (won't help I bet!)... So we went to another office that was close by... Same situation! So we took off to an office out in the country, about 35 minutes away... FRUSTRATION doesn't even begin to describe how we felt...

We waited our turn and finally, I got my second try at the road test... The lady was so kind... We got into the car and I said, "Mam, if it's ok, I'd like to leave my GPS in the window. The man failed me last week because he said I was speeding. But the way my speedometer sits, it casts a shadow and looks like I'm driving 5 miles faster than I really am."

Get this... She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to worry about a thing... You had that mean old man down at the other office... I'm not like that... You wouldn't believe how many people come up here because of him!"

When I finished the test (even though I couldn't back in a straight line), she patted my arm and said, "You did just fine...just fine." Of course, I'm thinking... "Yea, and I thought the guy last week was nice, what if she's just messing with me?"

I walked back into the DMV office and Nick looked at me and his eyes said, "Well?" I just shrugged my shoulders because I was so afraid it was going to be like last week and she was going to walk through the door, pull off her nice lady personality to reveal the DMV shark lurking beneath... But thankfully, she was TRULY a very nice lady...

So I am once again a licensed driver... WAHOO... I will be grafitti painting the expiration date of my new license on some wall of the house! (Just kidding!) Seriously though, if you haven't already, go check the expiration date on your license!!

I Failed A Road Test... FOR REAL!!

2011-08-31T12:03:00.003-04:00

So first, an update on Zack... Thank you so much for your prayers... We're still on track to avoid a skin graft. And, if we're still on track next week, his stitches will come out Wednesday morning...

So now for the funny story... Imagine being a 46 year old adult and having to re-take your road test for your driver's license... Could you pass? Are you sure? Guess what...

Here's what happened... My driver's license expired... kind of embarrassing, but it's over a year expired... No real excuse except that I don't look at my driver's license...don't really need too... and it wasn't until the bank caught it that I even realized it had expired. But then life hit and I let the summer slide by without renewing it, and now I'm over a year...

I had set aside today to take Nick to get his learner's permit and I was going to renew my license... Time consuming, but straight forward right? WRONG...

I had done my homework and our DMV website says this for a license expired over a year...

"Driving Skills ( Road Test ) (at the discretion of the Examiner)"

I thought, "46... road test at the discretion of the examiner... no problem... I have a perfect driving record... why on earth would they make me take a road test?" WRONG again... Because they can if they want to (make an example of you)!!

So Nick had to wait on me because he can't get his permit without a licensed driver... So 90 minutes later I take the written test and miss only one question... Cool... I'm sailing... Driving test... No problem...

WRONG again... 3 strikes and I'm out!!

The guy seemed so nice... kind of grandfatherly... teasing me... we even laughed about the extremes that a girl would go to feel younger in a mid life crisis!

Well, don't let those sweet grandfatherly types fool you... he was good... really good...

I was SO nervous... I buckled my seat belt... checked all my mirrors... Looked over my right to back up.... Did all of my turn signals... no sudden stops... complete stop at all the stop signs... made sure I didn't stop over the white line... 25 mph in a little residential neighborhood... 3 point turn, left shoulder, right shoulder again... even had the pleasure of driving a safe distance behind a tractor...

When we got back to the DMV office, I'm thinking, "Piece of cake...boy, I did that perfect!... and I asked, in my most southern sweet way... "So did I do ok?" I didn't want him to think I was too confident...

And he looked at me, kind of smiled and said, "We'll talk about it when we get inside." I laughed and said "Uh oh..." certain that he was messing with me... He couldn't have had a better driver in weeks with all of the teenagers they get! NOT!!

We sat down at the desk and he says, "Mom, I have some bad news." (He'd been calling me mom the whole time... I told you, he was good at playing the role of sweet grandfatherly type!) I thought, "Oh, this guy is good.... he is really going to drag this out before he tells me what a good driver I am."

"You didn't look over your right shoulder for the 3 point turn."

What... Now he's taking it a little far... "Pardon me?" "You didn't look over your right should on the 3 point turn."

"But sir... I clearly remember looking over both shoulders in the backing part of the turn." "No mam (no more sweet grandfather...) you didn't." "But I did..." I was even silly enough to verbally walk him back through the turn... Well, give this one up, surely they won't fail me for one thing...

But he wasn't done with me yet... Oh no... "And mam, you can't speed during a driving test!" SPEED... I have a perfect driving record... my husband and best friend tease me for driving slow... SPEED...

But in my oh so sweet southern way, I asked, "Where did I speed?" "In the 35mph hour zone." "No sir, I was watching my speedometer... I did 25 through the entire residential area and then when it went up to 35, I watched my speedometer like a hawk... I was definitely not speeding." "Mam... you were doing 40." "NO SIR (now sweet southern girl is disappearing in a cloud of steam... angry bull is lurking just below the surface)... I am CERTAIN I did NOT speed... the needle bounced between 35 and 36 the entire time." "NO MAM... you were doing 40!"

And with that... he sent me home! And poor Nick who waited all summer to do this and sat for 2 grueling hours waiting on me... had to leave the DMV without his permit... Not because of anything he did, but because his ditzy, procrastinating mom let her license expire!

Oh well... after the angry bull (who never really made an appearance) went back into the corner and I got over the humiliation of failing a road test in front of my son... we laughed and laughed... How many kids can say they were with their mom when she failed her road test?! In the end... it's all about the story! (I gave him permission to have fun at my expense when he got back to school! Like he really needed my permission! LOL!!)

And just FYI... On the way home I said, "Nick, look and see how fast I'm driving." His response... "40!" But the speedometer was sitting right in between 35 and 36... The officer had the wrong perspective and in the end, made the wrong decision... it really is all about perspective!

Stay tuned... Next week "Sunday driver" Sharla will be at the DMV... I guess I should go ahead and make an appointment with the chiropractor to put my neck back in alignment from twisting so far around to be sure he doesn't miss the look over my right shoulder...

A Great Perspective...

2011-08-29T14:28:00.000-04:00

This morning I was driving Nick to school and I said, "Nick, do you realize that since we decided to go to Africa as a family next summer, the refrigerator died... Zack had a terrible accident... my car died and now the stomach flu is making it's way through our house!"

Nick didn't miss a beat... He looked at me and said, "I guess that means we're supposed to go!"

Now that's a perspective that makes me smile! One thing I've learned... when you're heading down the right path, obstacles will abound!! You can let them knock you off the path, or you can let them be some assurance that you're on the right path...

Now I realize that one could argue, "well maybe they're meant to direct you to another path..." And I would totally agree that sometimes God does use circumstances to re-direct us... But what I've learned over the years is that God clearly closes doors, He doesn't play guessing games with us... Or He takes away our peace... I've never experienced Him using discouragement to lead me to another path...

Just this morning, I was reading 2 Chronicles 20... A vast army has come against Israel and this is what God says to them in verse 17... "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you... Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out and face them and the LORD will be with you."

And Israel went out to face the enemy's army with thanksgiving and praise!

So I think I'll take a page from Israel's playbook! I'm going to praise in light of all these annoyances (and a few heartaches with Zack's situation)... And I'm going to stand firm and guard my heart against discouragement... This is not my battle to fight and I have TOTAL confidence in the One who is fighting the battle for us!!

(Off to the doctor in a short while for the next check up for Zack's ankle... Will post an update later... Thank you for all who have been praying!)

And My World Swayed... Literally!

2011-08-22T20:42:00.001-04:00

Today was our first follow up visit to see the surgeon since the accident and surgery, last week. I admit that I had some really… no REALLY… unreasonable expectations… I’m not sure what I thought would happen, but it didn’t quite turn out like I wanted… you know, completely healed, stitches out, Zack playing soccer tomorrow night in the season opener… (Well… He is the God of the Impossible!)

But what I saw when they took bandages off pretty much rocked me to the core… Now I really hate to tell this, but until today, I had not seen Zack’s wound… Yes, I was in the ER with him, but I either had my eyes closed or my back turned when the doctors were examining him and trying to decide what to do. You see, I have this sometimes very uncontrollable response to blood… gore… especially when it’s our children… Not wanting to become the center of attention by fainting in the ER and since I couldn’t offer them any of my non-existent medical expertise, I thought the best plan of action was to keep myself where I could comfort my child (passed out on the floor would not have accomplished that!)…

But today, Scott couldn’t be there, so I knew I had to ‘man-up’ and pay attention to what the doctor had to say… That meant I had to see what he was talking about… And oh my goodness… It was awful… Part of the cut that runs up his leg is healing well, but down around the ankle… ugh… I’ll spare you the details… But my heart broke…

And yet, God had prepared me… From about 4 a.m. on, I couldn’t really sleep… I would doze and pray… I was literally pleading for a good outcome today… and sometime, in those early hours, that soft, gentle whisper (in my heart) came again… “Are you just trusting Me for a good outcome in the circumstances, or are you trusting ME?”

Ouch… And then it all started to make sense… God loves us so much He gave His Son for us… THAT is a love I can trust… Circumstances may be painful… they may break my heart… or my children’s heart… BUT, if I say I trust God…. If I say He is good… If I proclaim His love for us… Then it can’t be dependent on the circumstances, it HAS to be dependent on who He is…

So once again, He made sure I had a place to stand… And then He let my world rock, well, literally sway a little (talk about whoozy!)…

I don’t know why today was so hard… Maybe I’m tired and it’s all catching up to me… Maybe the fog of last week is finally wearing off… but it has been the hardest day yet…

In perspective, it’s silly maybe… I have my child… I can laugh with him… talk to him… see him… And he has an injury that will heal… he’s not going to lose his foot… or even any mobility… he’ll walk away with a dreadful scar (and as a guy, he’ll be proud of it)… Even if it requires more treatment, it will still be ok… But all of that rationale doesn’t change my heartache for right now… My heart is just not getting the same message as my head… And for a little while, that’s ok… But I don’t want to wallow here…

Because the truth is… the place I chose to stand on is this… I have an Abba Father who loves me and my family more than I can imagine… I have years of ‘remembering stones’ where He has shown Himself faithful over and over… I have story after story of where He took brokenness… heartache… sadness… and literally brought beauty from the ashes…

Great is His faithfulness… His mercies are new every morning… Tomorrow is a new day!

A Sure Place To Stand... Lessons From Zack's Injury

2011-08-19T11:47:00.002-04:00

I’m not sure why I feel led to write this post… Honestly, I’ve been resisting it for the last couple of days. I’ve started it and stopped several times, but since I can’t get it out of my heart, I’ll just give in…

Over the summer, I led a small book discussion group using One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. It is a wonderful book and God used it in such a sweet way through the early moments of Zack’s injury. He literally used it to give us a place to stand in the storm…

When I first arrived at the ER, I had no idea what state I would find Zack in… I knew by then that there had been very little blood loss, so I really felt like his life was not in danger, but I had no idea what state his leg was in… And I admit, one my greatest heartaches was thinking he had lost his senior soccer season.

I guess to some that might seem petty or small compared to the damage that could have been done to his foot. But I knew how Zack had been looking forward to this since his junior season ended. And not just Zack, but me too… Soccer has always been one of our special places of connection… Scott has given me the blessing of taking him to most of his weekend tournaments… I take tons of photographs… It’s just been something special we’ve shared. I was looking forward to savoring every second of every game and now it looked like it was being ripped away…

Not long after I arrived at the hospital, Scott went out to the waiting room to make a few phone calls… So it was just Zack and I… Zack looked at me and said, “Well, I guess any hope of making all conference is gone…” I could feel the tears coming so I turned my back and pretended to do something at my purse to regain my composure… And at that point, it wasn't just soccer I was worried about... At that point, we only knew what had happened and what the wound looked like... In our logical minds, we couldn't see how there could be anything but broken bones and shredded ligaments and tendons... My heart was breaking over soccer... but even more, my heart was breaking over what this might mean to a 17 year old foot that has a lot of years to go...

And that’s when I heard a soft whisper in my heart… Just a few days before, our book group had finished One Thousand Gifts and one of the parts that made such an impression on me was when she wrote, “What if I opened the clenched hands wide to receive all that is? A life that receives all of God in this moment?”

The quiet voice asked, “Will you receive this with open hands?” Every fiber of my being wanted to scream “NOOOOOOOO!” But in the depths of my soul, I could imagine my hands opening and then peace flooded into the heartache…

I turned back to Zack and I said, “You know the book I just finished with the book club?...” But then the tears came again and I thought twice about what I was about to say… Would it sound trite? Would he feel like I was minimizing his heart ache? And then he said, “Mom, it’s ok… what were you going to say?”

I don’t know where the words came from… they weren’t mine… I didn’t even fully understand them when I spoke them… The Bible says that God will give us our words when we don’t know what to say… That is my only explanation…

So I told him about opening our hands to receive this… I told him about the author’s reminder of Romans 8:32… “He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all – how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” She goes on… “He gave us Jesus! Gave Him up for us all. If we have only one memory, isn’t this one enough? If God didn’t withhold from us His very own Son, will God withhold anything we need?”

“Zack, I don’t understand why this happened… It doesn’t take away the grief… the disappointment… the sadness… but that gives us a place to stand in the midst of it all… We can look at what He did for us when He let Jesus die on the cross and we can trust Him…”

Somehow it doesn’t seem right to share his thoughts at this point, but I was blown away by his ability to look beyond his heartache and see a bigger picture… He understands that in every situation, eternity is what hangs in the balance…

But it’s only been in the days that have followed that I’ve really begun to understand what I said to him…

The grief over his season has hit me hard… I know that it’s not lost… That there’s a good possibility that he’ll get more than half of it in… But I’m a selfish woman and I wanted it all (how’s that for honest)… I wanted to suck the life out of every moment… And I can tell you for certain that Zack did too…

I took some laundry out of the dryer yesterday that was a leftover from before the accident and as I folded it, I realized that it had his soccer jerseys in it… I’ve never had such a hard time folding 2 shirts in all my life…

But in the midst of the storm… I have a place to stand… No matter how much it hurts… No matter how the emotions batter my soul… I can experience them all because God did not withhold His very own Son from me…from us… There is no bigger picture of His love… And there is no greater assurance that I can put all of our hopes and dreams safely into His Son’s nail scarred hands…

Years ago, Scott and I were in a store and saw the amazing photograph by Jean Guichard that I put at the beginning of the post… I have never forgotten it… The storm that is raging around the man is CRAZY... yet he stands with such peace and confidence because he is certain of where he is standing... That photo left an imprint on my heart because it is such a picture of how I long to live when storms hit... And it is a picture of who Christ can be for us when we find refuge in Him… Are you certain of where you're standing?

(Zack is doing so much better... no real pain... sleeping and eating better... Now we're all just waiting and praying for Monday when we see the surgeon and find out if the wound is healing... if you've been praying, thank you... Would you keep praying for him that God will supernaturally heal the wound and that a skin graft will not be necessary? Thank you, thank you!!)

Catapulted...

2011-08-16T21:30:00.000-04:00

So how do I begin to tell a story that I feel like I got dropped… really catapulted… into the middle of? It wouldn’t have been story that I would have chosen, had I been given a choice… And yet, I wouldn’t ask to come out of it now (Zack might want to smack me for that one… you’ll understand why in a minute)…

On the surface, it seems like it began yesterday around 1 p.m…. But as I look back on provision after provision, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, it started well before it seemed…

Sometime after 1 yesterday, my cell phone rang… it was the call that every mother dreads, “Sharla, Zack has been in accident.” I know my friend tried to reassure me, but I could tell by the sound of her voice that this wasn’t the usual, ‘go to the hospital and get an x-ray’ kind of accident… Perhaps her words, “the ambulance is on the way” was the obvious give away!

From there she handed the phone to Zack so he could reassure me… “Mom, the bobcat (a 1300 pound piece of landscaping equipment) ran over my foot. I don’t think it’s broken, but I can see bone.”

It’s amazing the number of thoughts that can run through your head in a matter of nanoseconds… Utter confusion… (How does my friend D know? Oh yeah… Zack is on a landscaping job at her house...) Frustration at the utter confusion (Ambulance…why is there an ambulance coming?) Relief… (It’s not broken… how bad can it be?) More confusion… (Bone…. How can you see bone? Ambulance? I’m still not getting the ambulance…) Understanding… (It’s cut really bad…) Sheer terror (How do I get to my child?) Despair (So much of what he’s…truthfully, what we’ve… looked forward to his senior year of high school soccer… co-captain with one of his closest friends… a swirl going down the drain)…

Calls to Scott… where to take him… calls to church… please pray… calls to friends to pray… to work out the logistics of caring for 3 other children… Fear… a band around my insides until one of our pastors prays with me and then peace… sweet peace that passes all understanding… calm in the middle of a storm that I have no idea how big it will be…

I finally make it to the hospital… to Zack… and then I stand back and watch the hand of God… It really started at my friend’s house where the accident happened…

The accident… Zack was at his landscaping job… He realized the bobcat he was operating was in the way of the man he works for (incredible guy… we’ve been so blessed to have Zack and Nick work for him this summer)… He started to back up with it and forgot that a pallet was behind him… he tripped and fell… the bobcat ran up his right leg… a 1300 pound piece of equipment on his leg… somehow he pushed it off… the body is an amazing thing… he didn’t even know he was hurt… he stood up, turned off the bobcat… looked down and realized that he was in trouble… I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that he could see everything on the inside of his right leg from his ankle to about 5 inches up…

Another friend of ours was visiting at the house… I learned today that she went simply because she felt led to go… Even her husband asked her why she was going… She’s a trained nurse… she knew exactly what to do to prevent shock… she took care of him until the ambulance arrived…

Having no clue how serious this was, we asked to have him taken to our local hospital… The EMTs in their great wisdom overrode us and took him to a trauma center downtown…

And ever since that moment, we have spent the last 32+ hours in awe of our great God… 1300 pounds on a leg and not even a cracked bone… a horrible wound that gouged out flesh yet went between 2 ligaments that attach to the ankle… tendons… and cleanly between 2 blood vessels… I don’t even want to think what that could have meant…

The next hours were filled with an amazing nurse who clearly had been given a heart for Zack… She advocated for him… she reassured us… she didn’t just do her job, she served us in such sweet ways… I will never forget what she did for us… There were desperate prayers for wisdom for the doctors, especially when every fiber of my being said that one of their options for treatment was not the right one…

And then a gift… another friend called her brother-in-law who is a plastic surgeon… he agreed to stop by when he finished rounds… he looked at Zack’s wound and just as he started to talk to us, the ER doctor came in to tell us the plan… Dr. B stayed and listened to it all… After the ER doctor left, he confirmed that they had come up with the right plan, the plan he would want if it was his leg… Peace… sweet peace… No… I absolutely DON’T believe in coincidence!!

In the midst of the storm… friends… our church body being the body in the most amazing way… prayers… phone calls… visits… texts… e-mails… I can’t even begin to tell you how all of them have touched us and been the tangible comfort and strength of God through it all…

They did a preliminary cleaning of his wound in the ER and then surgery was planned for today… A sleepless night… but then I have to say that anything that drives you to God’s throne of grace isn’t all bad…

I admit, while I prayed for the impossible, closing the wound with no skin graft… I didn’t really think it was realistic to hope for… But I still prayed… A very wise ministry leader told my dear friend, not too long ago… “Something won’t NOT happen, because I didn’t ask for it…” So I asked (and so did a WHOLE lot of others! Thank you!!)…

And at 9:00 a.m…. just 40 minutes after surgery began… his surgeon came out and said, “we’re done…I was able to close it completely.” The God of the impossible, did the impossible!

Zack will miss some of his soccer season, but not all… In another post, I’ll tell you about a really sweet conversation with him, in the midst of this crazy storm… I’ve never been more proud… I’ve never forgotten what a friend of mine quoted from her husband, “People are like toothpaste, you don’t really know what’s inside until they get squeezed.” Zack got squeezed… We saw his heart and his character… We love the Christ in him that we see growing…

More in the next day or so… I'll leave you with one of my favorite Max Lucado quotes, from the Great House of God...

"When somone speaks, Jesus hears... When Jesus hears, thunder falls... When thunder falls, the world is changed... All because someone prayed."

I don't understand how prayer works... or why God chooses to use our prayers... But I know He does... I've seen it and experienced it with my own heart and my own eyes! And I've never been so thankful!

Getting The Facts Straight!

2011-08-11T14:58:00.000-04:00

So I think today is the day I’m going to get on my soapbox… I’m sure I’ll step on a few toes on the way up, but oh well, I’m tired of being silent while people make some statements that are just NOT grounded in facts...

Statements (or should I say criticisms) like “You know, we have poor in America that you could serve?” I actually had a man, a TSA agent, criticize me in the airport a couple of years ago for going to Africa while there are people in need right here at home…

Or the way too common (definitely not informed) lament over how much aid is given to foreign countries, when we have our own starving, homeless, etc., right here in America… I see it all the time on FB. Just the other day, a friend of mine expressed a desire to go to Somalia because she was broken hearted over the circumstances there… Another ‘friend’ of hers actually berated her for her compassion and went off on all the ‘aid’ we give to foreign countries while we have people in need right here at home…

So let’s talk about that and try and get some facts straight…

First, the average income in America is $27,041/year (2009 Census Bureau Numbers) and in Swaziland, it’s $2,280 (Numbers from World Vision)... That's 92% lower!!

So how does the cost of living compare between Swaziland and the US? Well, of course it's lower and while I couldn't find a lot of numbers, I learned that rent prices in Swaziland are 46% lower than the US and groceries are 44% lower... But with an income that's 92% lower than ours, it gives a whole new meaning to poverty!

I’ve met teenagers who prostitute themselves to feed the siblings that they’re raising because their parents have died… I’ve seen a mother feed her 3 year old daughter a rotten banana off a garbage dump… I’ve met a grandmother who comes to the dump to get food for her grandchildren that she’s raising… I’ve met young men who search the dump for meat bones, pull off whatever’s left and cook it at the dump… Dinner anyone? But heaven forbid we help them out since we have hungry people right here at home…

In America, 14.3% of the population live below the poverty line… In Swaziland, 69% live below the poverty line…

I know that there are some pretty terrible situations in America, but frankly, America is unbelievably wealthy, even in a down economy… there is just no excuse for anyone to be hungry here… how is it that we can’t support 14.3% of our population…

The people of Swaziland, and many other countries like them, don’t even have a population of ‘middle classers’… For crying out loud, 69% of their population is below the poverty line… how on earth are they supposed to find the resources to help each other?

Ok, so let’s talk about giving… People seem to think that so much of the National Budget goes to foreign aid… In one poll, the average American ASSUMED that our government gives 25% of the National Budget to foreign aid... Talk about MIS-informed! Guess what? It’s only 1.1%... We’re definitely NOT giving away the store… To our own population, it’s between 5.4% and 6%... It seems that we spend as much, if not more on debt service than we do caring for our poor…

And individual giving? Lest anyone think that tons is being given by the individual giver to global issues… It’s ONLY 3%... The majority of our charitable giving stays right here at home…

So, it’s time to stop picking on those who have a heart for others in our international community (and wrongly assuming that we don't do anything at home)… Find your passion, whether in the USA, or globally (this world would never work if we all had the same passion)… And then when you find it, serve there with your whole heart…

Love Without Reserve...

2011-08-09T08:25:00.000-04:00

I’ve been home for over a week now, but somehow I can’t get this trip out of my mind and heart… Even more, I can’t get the people out of my mind and heart… I miss them… I’ve thought of a thousand questions I wished I’d asked them… Questions about their life… Their struggles… Their joys… And I’m utterly frustrated because I have no immediate way to communicate with them.

But there’s something I struggle with...

I love these people… It’s not logical… I’ve known them for 6 ½ days of my life… It’s not really rational… But I do… I want to be back with them… I want to work in their garden with them (and I hate gardening!)… I just want to sit and really talk to them… And of course, worship with them! And the cool thing is that it’s a love with no real expectations… They can’t give me anything… Or really do anything for me…

But I admit, I want them to feel the same way about me, and I don't always trust that they do… I want them to love me and accept me… Not for what I bring… Or who I might know in the US… Or for what I might help them build… Because the reality is, I don’t really have any influence to get people to give money… I’m not well connected… I don’t have a storehouse of money myself… I’m just an ordinary suburban mom who has fallen in love with a small country on the opposite side of the world. No explainable reason… it’s just what’s so!

But then it hit me... Isn’t that the kind of love God wants from us? A love without strings… A love that has no ‘in order to’ attached to… ‘In order to’ get blessings… ‘In order to’ have an illness healed… ‘In order to’ be successful… or have great children… or whatever…

Last year, on the last day we were in the community, I had a really hard time because the Pastor pulled out the blueprints for the church/meeting center he longs to build… The man is truly a visionary… But unlike most Americans, who can run to the bank for a loan, he has no resources. So who can really blame him for making the most of an opportunity, isn’t that what a true visionary in the US would do?

And yet, I struggled with that for months, I even considered not going back to the same community… Because I didn’t want him to play a game with me, telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, only to get what he wanted… Thankfully, in the end, a greater love and grace than anything I’m capable of, overrode my need to protect myself… And God taught me something in the process...

I'm really no different in my relationship with God… I often tell Him what I think He wants to hear... Worry that if I don't have the 'right quiet' time, I might not get His blessings... or I might make Him unhappy, which would cause Him to withhold His blessings... I wrestle with, "Am I doing enough... Praying enough... Reading my Bible enough..." And yet, that is not who God is... And that is certainly NOT the gospel... the good news... Jesus gave His life for...

God just wants our love, whether He chooses to give….or to take away… He just wants us to want Him… Not His stuff… Not His miracles… Not His ability to right every wrong…

And yet, the really cool thing is that He loves unconditionally… He loves us faithfully… He still shows up… Even when we love Him for the wrong reasons…

As I understand more and more how risky (and even a little scary) it is to love with no reserve….to love unconditionally… my gratitude for God’s love just goes deeper and deeper…

Special Visitors...

2011-08-05T14:21:00.001-04:00

3 years ago, when we adopted Abby, we were so blessed to travel with the family that was adopting Abby's older foster sister, Penny. It was amazing how God orchestrated all of the details, as we were with 2 different agencies... I will never forget the day that I received an e-mail that simply said, "I think I'm adopting your daughter's older foster sister..." And from that point on, we received our approvals together, and even walked into the Ch*na Adoption Affairs building at the same time...

Unfortunately they live many miles from here, so it's been a couple of years since our last visit... But yesterday, they came through our town and we got to spend time with Abby's foster sister and her 6... Yes, SIX adopted sisters... They are an amazing family! And I got to have 4 of them spend the night with us... Oh the laughter and the giggles...

I just wished we lived closer to them...

Here are a few pictures...

Abby and Penny

The "Sleep Over" Gang

The WHOLE Gang

R & C... You are one special couple with an amazing family! How God must smile!! Thanks for coming to see us!!

A Call That Made My Day...

2011-08-04T09:09:00.000-04:00

For some reason, coming home from Swaziland this time has been the hardest yet... I've just been so stinkin' sad about what I learned this time... Funny, while I was there, I had so much fun with them... But coming home, as I've had time to really process our conversations, I'm overwhelmed with the depth of the need there and the obstacles they face...

And of course, all of that need costs money... It cost to go there... It cost to help them with resources... And that feels overwhelming too...

But in the midst of it all, some really cool things have been happening and God's been busy reminding me that He still owns the cattle on a thousand hills...

On Tuesday I learned that in a Silent Auction, that Ruby's Gift (on Selwyn Avenue), held for me right before I left, raised $245!! Guess what the deposit amount is to open a trip account at Heart For Africa? $250! (Ruby's Gift is a GREAT gift shop that features only local artists... Stop by sometime, it is a really fun place to shop!)

That same day, I received my acceptance letter into a really big juried art festival in September...

Yesterday, I stopped by another gift shop (Honeysuckle) where I have a booth for my jewelry and was stunned when she gave me my check for July... I thought July was going to be a terrible month... But it was my 2nd best so far!!

In the evening, I happened to check my website and realized a sale had come through while I was gone... when I e-mailed her to apologize for the delay in getting her order to her, she said her friend had received one my necklaces as a birthday gift and that's how she found out about my jewelry! Referrals are such a good sign for a business!

And then the phone call that made my day... One of Zack's good friends called looking for him, I'll call him C... C is a great young man and very talented... He leads worship and wow, can he can sing! Since Zack was at soccer practice, C said, "Mrs. M..., I've been wanting to talk to you... In a few weeks my first CD is coming out and I'd like to donate a portion of my profits to your next trip to Africa."

I was stunned... I wasn't even sure what to say... At 17, I was all about me... I wanted to make (and spend) all that I could... It would have never occurred to me to give it away!

And in that moment God taught me something... He will move in willing hearts and He WILL accomplish His purposes, I just need to keep taking one step at a time, praying and trusting that God will provide what is needed!

Well, I told C that I would be honored for him to donate to my next trip, but would he be willing to pray about something first... I am not a non-profit and while you can contribute to my trips through Heart For Africa, which is a non-profit... Heart For Africa is the one that people need to be pointed to... God is doing amazing things through them in Swaziland!

I also told him about the community that I've grown to love and I told him about their need for a well... And that seemed to really touch his heart... So we are in the process of exploring if we can do the well through HFA... If so, God may have just opened the door, and started providing the resources for this community to get the water they so desperately need... I had been praying and asking God for clear direction about whether or not to pursue raising funds for a well... And He answered through a selfless 17 year old young who was willing to hear his Father's voice and follow...

2 Corinthians 9:8 says, "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

God will accomplish His purposes... He will equip me, and Heart For Africa, and that awesome community in Swaziland, and YOU... for every good work that He has planned... I definitely need to memorize that verse and hang on to it!!

Tomorrow I'll tell you about some VERY special visitors that will be here later today!!! It's going to be a GREAT day!! (And when C's CD is available in a few weeks, I'll let you know that too!)

The Weight of a Word...

2011-08-03T10:03:00.000-04:00

Over the summer, we have been studying the parables in our Sunday School... At the beginning of the summer, one of the first ones we considered was the parable of the Shrewd Manager, in Luke 16:1-12... There's many different schools of thought on this parable... But I just want to share how it hit me...

In Luke 16:1, the master accuses his manager, or steward, of "wasting his - the master's - goods." Those words have haunted me all summer, but the weight of them has increased exponentially since returning from Swaziland.

I look around me, even in the room I'm sitting in, and I see so much waste... Books that were never finished... who needs so many books... accessories on the shelves that do nothing but collect dust... just stuff... too much stuff.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way saying it's wrong to enjoy God's blessings... this is not meant to be a guilt trip... but for me, I just need to take a long look and call a spade a spade... or waste waste...

When I think about the waste... I see a bore hole that could have been... or a women's center to teach them skills to earn income that could be started today... I see so much potential for eternal value that has been wasted...

As my friend Naomi posted yesterday, she's being challenged "to not get caught up in this life but to lay aside that which we don't really need. It is a snare that we can easily get caught up in if we do not guard our hearts."

5 trips to Africa and I still have a hard time guarding my heart... Time and distance are not my friends when it comes to keeping the heart clean, after a trip like this... But God has promised to complete the good work He began and I trust that He will not give up on me... (thank goodness!)...

True transformation starts with a broken heart... So instead of wallowing in regret and guilt, I will simply choose a different path and I will ask Him how I can start to clean up my mess of too much stuff...

As I continue to learn from these trips... stuff doesn't make me happy or bring lasting joy... but the smallest offering, to someone in need, brings a joy that is far beyond anything of this world...

Bubbles...

Balls...

Ourselves!

Reality Check

2011-08-01T08:27:00.000-04:00

So after many hours of travel, we are home... From Swaziland to my mom's 44 1/2 LONG hours... Flight delays... missed connecting flights... ridiculous amounts of confusion at the airline counters... crazy stuff... but I'd do it all again to be back in Swaziland! Every time I leave there, I leave a piece of my heart...

As I've had many hours to think, there's a few things I've had some time to ponder and process, this one may be a little long, but I've got to get this out...

First, the last day I was talking to M (one of the young ladies I wrote about earlier) and we were talking about watering the garden... They now have 2 water tanks there so I asked how much does it cost to fill them... 300 rand... roughly $50... My immediate response (which thankfully didn't come out of my mouth) was "oh, that's not too bad."

Really Sharla? Think that one through for a minute... The average income in Swaziland is $1/day... So to fill the water tanks, one would have to work 50 days... basically 2 months, just to have easier access to water... Otherwise they carry it from the cow's pond... A pond that the cows walk in, poop in... You get the picture... We carried water from that pond... My container was about 3/4 full... I don't know how they do it time after time...

Sometimes they can afford to pay for the water truck, but the truck doesn't come... For the most part Swaziland is dry... Maybe 2-3 months of a rainy season, but that's it...

Now in Swaziland, with water, they could have almost a year round growing season, the climate there is wonderful... but without water, nothing grows (wow... is there a spiritual parallel in that!)... And when nothing grows, they have nothing to eat... They can't feed themselves, much less orphans in their community who have no one to provide for them...

Is there a solution? YES... A bore hole (basically a well)... would be a start to changing their lives...

Second, when I was there last year, the pastor showed us plans for a church he would love to build... I admit, I had a hard time with that... starving children and you want to build a church? But really, he's got a visionary spirit... He doesn't want to just build a church, but something that can be used as a conference center and rented for meeting space... You see, the new Swazi national airport just opened up nearby... So often there is a need for conference space... In addition, the schools are often looking for a larger place to meet... It makes so much sense...

But God did something that convicted my heart on this trip... He made it rain... And while it rained, I stood in their current church, trying to find shelter... This is their church...

If you go to church, does your church look like this? Do you have a hard time staying dry? Or warm? Or cool? Are you worried that your church might cave in on you? Do you sit on wooden benches with no backs? Or nice chairs/pews? Do you have any wooden benches that are balancing on cinder blocks?

I needed the rain to wash my self-righteous heart and show me what it's like to walk in their shoes for a while...

Finally, on the five hour bus drive from Swaziland to Johannesburg, Mr. K (the father of the family that served with us at the same church...) told us about a conversation that he had with some of the young men in the community... Really special young men who have hopes and dreams, who are so smart and wise, and yet have no opportunities to improve their lives because of a wretched economy and a political system that thrives on bribery...

Well, Mr. K asked them about HIV and found that they had not been tested because they were afraid of the results... HIV has a terrible stigma attached to it... They don't understand that ARV's really can help them... There is a hopelessness associated with it that is destroying this country... Why dream? Why work hard? Why fight? If you're just going to die?

The average life expectancy in Swaziland is 29 1/2... I can hardly stand to write this next part... These young men that touched the hearts of my sons... Who made me laugh and smile... Who became family in 3 short days... They are all around 24... If they are HIV positive, and if they don't get help, they will become a statistic... Good minds... hard workers... so many gifts and abilities... wasted...

I have no doubt that someday God will hold Americans accountable for how we wasted His blessings... But I have to wonder, will He also hold us accountable for how we didn't at least try to help others make the most of the gifts/talents they had been blessed with?

I don't know what the answer is... I know it's not more money just thrown at them that provides a temporary bandaid... But maybe it's some resources that help them overcome the most basic obstacles... Maybe it's business people who can come alongside them, stepping into their culture and discovering how to generate income...

Maybe it's a bore hole that will enable them to water their crops... a few more fruit trees... seedlings... that can will enable them to grow extra crops to sell... to buy concrete blocks to build a conference center....to produce more income that will eventually enable them to build the children's home they dream of... I don't know, but life... spiritual, as well as physical, starts with a small seed... God can do alot with something small... He is the God of the impossible!

Last Day...

2011-07-28T18:24:00.000-04:00

What an incredible trip this has been… Completely different than any other trip, and perhaps my favorite one of all! Something was different this time… In the past, there have always been stories and experiences that broke my heart and I think it led me to a place where I felt more pity than kinship. But this trip has been special because it went to a whole new level…

We found joy in the midst of suffering… Laughter in the middle of pain and struggles… Hope dropped into the center of despair… It was clear that God used our team to bring a special message of hope to this community…

Last days are always hard and I was surprised at the Pastor’s words as he opened our time of prayer and worship (with dancing!!)… He said, “The day has come and the hour is coming of your departure. I want to hide because I don’t want to experience that… You have left footprints on our soil and you have left footprints on our heart.”

All we did was show up… It’s amazing how God can use such a small offering. We started the day with planting and I had the blessing of talking to M while she watered. She said, “Are you coming back next year?” “M… I’m praying that I will be here… you pray too.” She said, “Well, if you come back but have to go to a different church, we would understand, but come to see us.” I said, “M… if I’m in Swaziland, I’m coming here, or I don’t want to come at all.” Her eyes welled up and she said, “I can see that you love us… I can feel it, all in my heart.”

I’m still amazed that somehow God can work that kind of a bond, in just a few days, in people who are so different… But He can… That’s how powerful His love is!

After we finished our work… we played… we talked… we just enjoyed each other’s company… Zack and Nick, with another dad on our team, played soccer… We sorted clothes that we had brought… we made bracelets that another team member had brought…

As it came time to leave, Pastor asked our team to come up front as they wanted to bless us… we had no idea what was coming... One by one, our names were called and a different member of the church came to dress us in a traditional swazi wrap… It was the most special, honorable thing they could have done… This is a trip I will always treasure!

I’m sure I’ll have much more to say, as I continue to process this trip, but in the am. we leave to go to the airport… I can’t believe another year has come and gone, that once again I have to say goodbye… But while I am sad, I go with heart full of smiles and laughter… I can’t wait to come back!

A Beautiful Picture of The Church

2011-07-27T16:54:00.001-04:00

Today was another great day… 6 years ago, on mom’s first trip to Swaziland, she spent 5 days working in a little village, Kabuta. And on each trip since then, she has returned to visit a family, a really special family! And wow… what a blessing to take the boys there today also… We had a great time with them!

The highlight of the day was when we presented them with the trees that we had brought to them… In the past, mom’s always taken fruit trees, but Heart For Africa has learned about a bush called the Moringa bush. It’s an amazing food source. But so few people know about it, mom was afraid they’d be disappointed that we didn’t bring more fruit trees. But we were the ones in for a surprise… As mom started to explain what she had brought… Samuel, the dad, got very excited… So did his son… They knew all about the moringa bush and wanted some, but didn’t have a way to get any… They couldn’t believe we had brought moringa bushes! Who but God could have pulled that off!

But that’s really not what’s on my heart to write about tonight… I just can’t stop thinking about the community we’ve been working in… In the last year, they’ve more than doubled the garden that Heart For Africa started for them. They’ve taken great care of the cook shelter our team built for them, it still looks like new… And they still have all of the tools that we gave them last year.

They’ve also dug the foundation for a soup kitchen and a new church building (I stood in their current church building yesterday while it rained, and it was awful… there were about 3 benches where you could be sure to stay dry…) and they’ve built a chicken coop to produce their own eggs…

They don’t have the money to complete any of the big projects, but their thinking is that they’ll take the step of faith and prepare the foundation, trusting that God will provide in His time!

They don’t just believe that nothing is impossible with God, they live it every day!

They are such a beautiful picture of the church… They love their members and they take care of them, but they also love their community and are taking the steps to be able to minister to a community that is hungry, sick and struggling.

I’m so sad that we just have one more day there… I can’t believe that once again, this trip is coming to a close… it’s just not long enough. It was so hard to say good bye last year, I can’t even imagine what this year will be like…

Amazing Grace!

2011-07-26T18:06:00.001-04:00

Today was a really special day… If you read yesterday’s post, you know I was really worried that we had hurt our relationship with the community. I don’t know for certain why eating is so important, but I can make a few guesses… First of all, it’s Biblical… In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says if we open the door, He will come in and dine with us… There’s the Last Supper… The wedding feast of the Lamb… Clearly sharing a meal together is important… But also, in the Swazi culture, they have so little to share… it truly is the widow’s mite… And it still breaks my heart that we can’t sit and share a meal with them without risking our health.

I prayed this morning that God would go before us and give them understanding, grace and mercy in their hearts… And He answered that far beyond what I dreamed or imagined…

When we got up this morning, it was raining… I mean REALLY raining… It’s winter here, so it’s the dry season and it hasn’t rained since the beginning of the year… It just doesn’t rain in the winter and I had no idea what a blessing that rain would turn out to be…

When we arrived at the church, the Pastor came right out to greet us and then the gogos (grandmothers) were not far behind him… They were warm and welcoming… Beyond gracious… And then the Pastor said, “God is blessing what you are doing here… He has sent the rain.” It’s as if God affirmed our work there by sending the rain to water the fruit trees, and that seemed to override conflict.

After that, we worshiped and danced together… This time I was the first one to step out and I went right to M, the one I wrote about the other day, and we started to dance… I’m learning how sweet it is to love another by stepping into their world… (I just wish I could figure out the meal thing better…) And just as I predicted the other day, that Pastor M would have Zack dancing with us, before the week was out, he did! I can’t tell you what that was like to have my two sons with me, worshipping God in Africa!

Next we went out to the garden, and just like one community, we all pitched in, the Swazis and our team and we started preparing the garden for planting… I can’t wait till I can post the pictures… To see the church being one was an amazing blessing!

Because it was raining so hard, we didn’t get as long with them as we would have liked, but it was such a sweet day… I am still amazed at how far we’ve come in our relationship with them since last year… they seem to delight in teaching us how to do things and then jumping in and working with us… the playful banter… the laughter… the sweet conversations… the hugs… I can hardly stand to think that we only have one more day with them…

Today as I walked outside the church, one of the young men followed me out to talk to me… He asked me questions about America… He talked to me about his dreams for his own life… We talked about our faith… I was shocked at how long he stood and talked to me… But something hit me tonight…

It’s easy to come here and lose sight of the individuals… to forget that they really aren’t that different… Yes, they have tremendous struggles and grief in their life… the know poverty… hunger… discomfort in a way that most will never know… And yet, they deal with so many of the things we deal with in the USA… and they dream and they hope… they long for someone to just step into their lives with them for a time and share it with them…

Today Pastor M told us what a difference we had made, just by showing up… He said that when the people of the community see a white man coming to help, they see Jesus… That blows my mind… We didn’t do anything to fix their situation… When we leave on Thursday, there will still only be 4 men in the community with a job… there will still be starving, sick children and adults, orphans and AIDS… it will still be a broken and hurting community… and yet, according to the Pastor, they have hope because we showed up…

I don’t know why God chooses to use us but He does and for that privilege, I am eternally grateful… it is a joy like no other!

Tomorrow, we’re off to Kubuta, the village mom worked in for 5 days on her first trip to Swaziland, and we get to spend the day with Enoch, our very special friend! I can hardly stand to think that we just have 2 more days… I wish I could grab hold of the hands of time and make it slow dow

Difficult Divide...

2011-07-25T17:06:00.005-04:00

Today was hard… Not because of anything terrible that we saw, but because of the difficulties of two cultures trying to find their way to loving each other… It’s not the post I had hoped to have for today, it’s not the story that seemed to be unfolding all day…

Well, I’ll just start at the beginning… We arrived at the church with the medical team, they were holding clinic there today… The plan for our team was to plant fruit trees and seedlings, but the Pastor asked us to wait until the people from his community could help us, because he wanted us to work side by side…

So we started playing with the children… We had bubbles, beach balls, soccer balls and even a football… At first the little ones were so shy around us, but bubbles will break the ice in any culture! Before long, they were laughing and playing with us.

From there, I got to spend time with one of their mothers… I’m not sure why we connected the way we did, but before long we were sharing real stories from our lives… Throughout the day we talked about plans for the future… We discussed the peace of Christ… We even talked about the difference between real miracles and the ones we have a hard time believing… She is a VERY wise young woman…

Later in the day, we got to carry water from the river… We took huge containers down, filled them (partway) and then headed back to the church. The Pastor told us that the people in the community didn’t believe we could really carry them all the way back… So we put them on our heads and set out to prove them wrong… We dodged 3 inch thorns that look like mini swords and watched for black mambas… That was an experience!

We laughed… we played… we worked… language barriers were leaped over… Zack and Nick were amazing with the children and such hard workers… I couldn’t have asked for a better day…

But then it happened… the pastor informed me that the gogo’s were preparing a dinner for us. In the Swazi culture, it’s the most generous thing they could do… Food is scarce and yet they would share with us to show their love… But the problem is that it would most likely make us sick, maybe very sick. As time came for us to leave, I really hoped I had misunderstood because nothing else was said, but as we were packing up to go, they started bringing out heaping plates of food…

To make a long story short, we ended up not eating as we had to get back by a certain time, but I’m certain that we offended them… In a way, I can’t but feeling like we rejected the widow’s mite… I guess in a way, we did… But how do you love each other across cultures and still protect those you’ve been given responsibility for?

First, we are told to be back by a certain time for our safety, they don’t want us traveling after dark… But even more, how could I expose everyone on our team, my children include, to something that could make us very sick… One of the parts of the dinner was salad, most likely washed in river water…

I have no doubt that we’ve offended them and that breaks my heart… Our relationship grew so much today and then it was like the angry lion took his paw and swiped us off the mountain top… These are such beautiful, generous people who just wanted to love us by sharing all that they had with us…

I pray that even now, God is working understanding and forgiveness in their hearts… that He will go before us and smooth the way… And that tomorrow we will find our way across the great cultural divide.

A Special Day!

2011-07-24T17:32:00.000-04:00

Today we got to worship with the church we are serving… We always go to church on our trips, but it’s usually the whole big group in a city church. I’ve always wanted to go to church in a rural area and really see how church is done.

Let me tell you, the Swazis know how to worship… I’m Presbyterian (PCA) and we’re often jokingly referred to as the ‘frozen chosen’… Well, that’s not exactly true at my church in the US, but it is for me. I’ve just never been very demonstrative in worship, so I decided that today was going to be different. I was going cave diving out of my comfort zone and if they danced before the LORD, then I was going to dance with them… And dance I did! Even Nick got in on the action… I admit, I was pretty shocked when he scooted into the line behind me (Pastor M will have Zack dancing by the end of the week I’m sure, as long as he survives his schooling in soccer by the Swazi boys that Pastor M is setting him up for!!)!

I loved watching the kids watching us… I’m sure they thought we were hilarious, but they were so sweet, I can’t wait to play with them and spend some time with them over the next few days…

After church was over, Pastor had our team form a line and we did the Swazi handshake with every person and child that was there… My sweetest moment of the day came in that line… Last year there was a gogo (grandmother) that I just fell in love with… Elina… I was afraid she wouldn’t remember me, but when she got to where I was in line, she completely skipped the traditional handshake and pulled me into the greatest GIANT bear hug… That’s what God’s love can do… What else could connect two completely different people on the opposite side of the world who have only seen each other for 3 days out of a life time… I wish I could somehow find the words to describe that connection… But they would never do that moment justice!

When we left today, I said to Pastor M… “Last year I was so shy, I wouldn’t dance, but you’ve gone and broken me out of my shell… Could we dance and worship just once more before we leave?” He made my day… He said, “I tell you what… we’ll start every day, before you work, with a time of praise and worship!” Now that’s worth coming around the world for!!

Here’s what I learned today… if you’re going to be somewhere… then be ALL there! I’m sure someone has said that before… but it’s just so rewarding… it’s so free! I’m so tired of letting my inhibitions steal amazing moments of joy, like I experienced today! I want to drink in every moment… to squeeze every drop of life out of every experience… that’s what the abundant life is all about!

Tomorrow is our first planting day… but first we will worship (and dance!)… now that’s my kind of day!

Questions...

2011-07-23T17:24:00.000-04:00

(Pictures are taking forever here... so I guess they'll just have to wait till I get home...)

Today was quite a day… I’ve never had a trip start quite like this one! We literally haven’t stopped running since we got here… Today was Litsemba, which means ‘hope’ in Siswati. We had 3000+ children arrive on buses, as well as from the community around Project Canaan, and we spent about 4 hours worshiping with them and just loving on them!

The children here are something else… In the USA, you would pretty much expect chaos to reign with that many children in one location, but not here. The children are so orderly, well behaved and respectful, even when they’re in line to receive a meal and a gift. I was so impressed!

I was on the photography team for the event… I know, don’t throw me in that briar patch! It was a blast!!!

But the thing I want to write about is my conversations with a couple of the people from the church we worked with last year, and will be serving at during the week…

The first was the Pastor… He was so surprised that I came back and he said, “Ever since I heard you were coming back, I’ve been thinking, ‘What did God put in your heart to make you want to come back to our community?’” The only thing I knew to answer was, “HIS love!” How else do you explain the desire to go around the world, to a culture that is vastly different than your own and far less comfortable… I can tell you, it’s nothing good in me… So it must be God’s love!

My next conversation was with M… I met her last year and just loved her, she’s so beautiful! She just has this light and peace that shines out through her eyes… I got to just sit with her in good ol’ African dirt today and I loved just being with her… For the first time she opened up to me and we started to get to know each other on a deeper level, not just two strangers thrown together… I’m not going to share the heart of our conversation out of respect for her privacy, but she asked me a question that shocked me...

She asked, “Did you have a choice to go to another church this year?” ‘Yes, M… I did…’ She thought for a minute and then she said, “So why did you come back to our church?” In some ways, I guess her question wasn’t that much different than Pastor M’s…

But why is it so hard for them to understand that they’re loved? Is it because they’ve never experienced the love of God, through the body of Christ, caring for those in need before? I would guess that’s it in part… Last year, Pastor told me that we were the first group to ever come and help their community… But it also made me think how I’m not that much different than them… Sometimes I have the hardest time just receiving God’s love…

As I kept talking to M… it’s like she kept looking for some quality that made them ‘lovable…’ But isn’t that what we all do… we measure our ‘lovability’ by what think is valuable, or worthwhile, in us… We add the possibility of love for what we think is good, but take away what’s possible in love for what we see as the bad…

But that’s just not who God is… As I sat and talked to M, I reminded her (and myself) of what God told Israel in Deuteronomy 7… That He didn’t choose them because they were more than any other people, but simply because He loved them and was keeping His promise to their forefathers…

Here’s the thing, if God needed a reason to love us… well… that would be that… He is a great, holy and mighty God… We have nothing to offer Him… Our sin is offensive to Him… But while were still His enemy, God just made a choice to love us… No reason, no justification, nothing to earn… He just loves us… And I think that’s how God wants us to learn to love also… I have a long way to go… More often than not, I get it wrong… But I can’t begin to describe what joy it is to love someone, just because God put it in your heart to love them…

"Thank You God"

2011-07-23T13:54:00.001-04:00

(So provided nothing goes wrong in the next hour or so, there will be two posts today... I wrote this yesterday, Friday, but couldn't post it since Swaziland shut down the internet in the country for a holiday...)

So I hardly know where to begin today… The whistle definitely blew (if that doesn’t make any sense, then you’ll have to go back and read yesterday)… But I was back in the game… We left Johannesburg early in the morning and set out for Swaziland… Crossing the border into Swaziland is always an experience! Since South Africa and Swaziland are two different countries, you have to ‘check out’ of South Africa and ‘check into’ Swaziland. For some reason, I find the whole process kind of fun…

I wish I could find the words to describe my feelings when I stepped onto Swazi soil today… I walked up to the official to get my passport stamped and he asked ‘how are you?’… Grinning from ear to ear, I said, “GREAT!” (And then when Scott called tonight, he even said, “I can hear the smile in your voice!) I’ve been surprised by the strength of my feelings to be back in Swaziland… I truly love this country.

It was a mad dash to the hotel and then out to Project Canaan… the 2500 acres that Heart For Africa is developing for the orphans in this country… 3 climate regions for crops, cattle, children’s homes, medical, clinic, schools… In the land of the impossible, it is a God project in the making!

I want to tell you two stories from today…

The first was told by K, the land manager for Project Canaan (PC)… I was here in 2009, shortly after they started working PC and the quick progress has been staggering, but I had never heard him tell the story until today…

When he arrived, the land was nothing but bush… they had no tractor, an incredibly rocky soil and only 1 month to plant the first crop of corn. Most people told him it was impossible… many of the locals gave Heart For Africa 6 months until they gave up and moved on…

Well, they cleared the land in record time, planted the first crop and harvested 35 TONS of corn! The harvest they brought in this year was 100 TONS of corn!! 2 years have passed and they’re still here!! I loved what K said, “We can all stand around and talk about our accomplishments, how smart we are, or how strong we are, but in the end, it’s all about what God does!”

And let me tell you, God is doing some amazing things here in Swaziland… You don’t even have to look very hard to see Him!

But here’s the other story that rocked my heart to the very core… The very first person that K hired to work on PC was a woman named S. S walked 2 hours, every day just to get to work and then 2 hours back home. She has 4 children and they walk 90 minutes, one way to school…

This past June she was pregnant with her 5th child and still coming to work every day… One day she left work and went to the local clinic to see if they would induce her as she was overdue… They sent her to the private hospital nearby. At first they gave her a pill, but when that didn’t work, they gave her an injection. Labor came hard and fast and the nurse just didn’t know what to do, so she went to find a doctor. By the time she returned, S and her precious baby had died.

Now that broke my heart, but what rocked my soul was what they named the baby when they buried her… In English, it meant, “Thank You God.” We saw a short interview with S’s mother… she said, “She was my mother, my father, my husband, she was the sole provider for our family… I miss her.” And yet, she could still name the baby, “Thank You God.”

I think about all the times I whine to God and complain… I often struggle with how to be thankful for ALL things… And yet, He’s never asked me for a child… I’ve never even really suffered in comparison to the people in Africa… But how many times do I forget to say ‘thank you God’ for all of my blessings and I really have a hard time saying ‘thank you God’ for a broken air conditioner… The people here who know God, they REALLY know Him… And they don’t just talk about it with their words, they live it with their very lives… Even in what they name a baby in the most tragic situation we could imagine… Now that’s trust…faith…hope!

I have so much to learn from these dear, dear people…

AFRICAAAAAA!!

2011-07-21T15:30:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it but I'm finally back on African soil... We (Zack, Nick, mom and I) just arrived in Johannesburg and we will drive to Swaziland in the morning... THAT'S where I'm really excited to get back too!

Hopefully I'll be able to access the internet in Swaziland also, so I'll be able to blog throughout the week... It is a week that is packed full...

But as I start this trip, I want to back up for a minute and tell you about getting ready for this trip... For some reason, getting ready for this trip was hard... It was overwhelming with all that we were trying to bring for the community... And then making sure that 3 of us had all we needed, instead of just packing for myself... And then the thought of leaving Scott and the girls was even harder than usual...

But a few months ago, my mom sent me to her friend's blog who is preparing to move to Kenya... She was writing about the stress of it and something her very wise teeanage son said to her... He compared it to the warm-up period before his soccer games... How he didn't like the warm-up exercises... the drills... the nerves... but when the whistle sounded, all of that was forgotten and it was all worthwhile because he loved the game so much!

God definitely blessed me with that thought for the last two weeks... I have reminded myself over and over that when the whistle sounds, it will all be worth it because I love this country so much...

Mission trips are hard... overwhelming... expensive... stressful... even scary... but that's just the warm-up period... the time when the enemy will do anything he can to discourage you and try and keep you from going...

But I can tell you first hand... there is no greater joy than when the whistle blows and you get to go into the 'game!' It is life changing... Yes, I'm sure God uses us to bless others lives, but I've found over and over that He uses the people I've come to serve to bless me and change me in ways I can't even imagine...

It's just minutes now until the whistle blows and I am so excited to get back to see the people that I have grown to love so much... People who have become a part of me... And even more, I can't wait to see what God does...

Is there a 'game' that God is asking you to get into? It may not be Africa... it might be the neighbor next door, or the local rescue mission... but I promise you, you will be blessed! Well, off to bed!

It's Open!

2011-06-03T22:19:00.000-04:00

I'm happy to say that my jewelry website is open again for business... Lots of new designs and more to come (Below are some photos of a few)... You can also follow me on Facebook for all the latest... www.facebook.com/designing4hope

And a fun bit of news... Zack, Nick and I leave for Africa on July 20 (my mom is going too!)... And hopefully, if the plan works, I'll be posting updates from Africa to my Designing For Hope Facebook page... We are getting to go back to the same church that I served at last year and we get to plant fruit trees for them!! I'm SO excited!!

Rose Coral Dyed Freshwater Baroque Pearls and Crystal

Agate, Freshwater Pearl, Crystal & Czech Glass

South Sea Shell Pearls, Czech Glass & Crystal

Ginkgo Leaf Asymmetrical Necklace with Crystal Bead Drops

Antique Bronze Tree Pendant on Suede/Leather Cord & Chain

Silver Leaf with 3 Bead Crystal Drop

Some Days Are Just Hard....

2011-05-21T16:51:00.001-04:00

I haven't written in a while, my jewelry business has become kind of consuming, but today was one of those hard days and I can't get away from the sense that I'm supposed to blog about it...

It was a day we had looked forward to for a couple of weeks... Zack's soccer team had made it to the State Cup semi-finals and this was their morning. We had to leave early to get to the game and Abby wanted to get up early and go with us...

I'm still not sure what happened, but the time came to leave and I found her in her room with her door locked... She opened it when I knocked, but she wasn't dressed... Deep breath (I hate to be late to anything)... She claimed nothing was wrong, but her eyes told a different story... I told her to go ahead and get dressed... Of course my temptation was to be short and rush her, but that gentle whisper in my heart told me to sit down...

When she came out of the bathroom, she sat down next to me and just had a good cry... it happens sometime, usually at the most inopportune times. I admit, today's timing was a struggle... It was Zack's big day and I knew being late would stress him out... But hmmm... late to a soccer game... loving our precious daughter like our Heavenly Father loves us... In the end (thankfully) God's way won out and we were 20 minutes late to the game (warm-ups...not the game itself)...

I don't know what was going on... Lately it seems like she's struggling with a sense of belonging, imagine that, after all she's lived through... But I have to wonder if it's something she'll always struggle with... I hope not, but it's something that only God Himself can heal.

I was really proud of Zack and the way he handled the day... We were late... he lost his starting position because of it... And not once did he complain... I love watching the adults our children are becoming by God's grace...

Well, the thunderstorm has passed and her giggles are brighter and clearer (and more contagious) than ever... It makes me so sad that she has to hurt like that, but so thankful that God has blessed us with the privilege of being the ones to hug her in her hurt... She's really an amazing child!

Just Need To Acknowledge...

2011-05-03T07:49:00.001-04:00

Ugh... I thought I could do the every Monday thing with One Thousand Gifts, but right now, it's just not working! The good news is, it's because my jewelry business is really taking off!! The struggle though is that it's overwhelming... The creativity seems to come so easily, but the business part is such a CHALLENGE!!

I'm having a blast, I love doing the shows, even in the midst of a crazy thunderstorm and I LOVE the days when I get to stay home all day and make jewelry... But keeping everything current on Facebook... my website (temporarily closed because my inventory sold at my last show)... shipping... doing inventory... tagging jewelry... etc. etc... it's just a really big challenge...

So that being said, I'm not going to close my blog, but I probably won't be here that often... You can follow me at www.facebook.com/designing4hope and hopefully, in the not too distant future, I have a series of blogs that I really want to write, so maybe in a few weeks...

2011-04-25T08:16:00.000-04:00

Well, I got off to a great start... One post and then I missed a week! It was Spring Break though and we went to the beach... But I didn't miss my journaling... What a gift it has been, I am learning SO much along the way...

So here are the moments that have captured me lately...

6. An idea when it comes together, better than expected!
7. Movies that make me smile.
8. The chance to say, "I love you more." (A game I play with my sweet husband...)
9. Blueberry waffles that make the kitchen smell like blueberry muffins!
10. The sun highlighting the edges of the clouds.
11. The constant song of the wind chimes on a windy day.
12. Birds singing in the trees at the start of the new day reminding me that His mercies are new every morning.
13. Things that make me sad because they remind me that God took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh.
14. Desperate prayers with sweet sisters in Christ.
15. Songs that make you want to run!
16. Finished necklaces that surprise me!
17. Earrings with bead tassels that sparkle in the light.
18. Naming the moments... really digging deep and exploring what about a moment touches my soul... Finding descriptive words that give it life and meaning!
19. Sharing tears with a friend who is struggling.
20. Coming home to NO flashing light on the answering machine!
21. Great moments in movies that I'll watch the whole movie, again and again, just for that one moment... "You had me at hello." (Scott and I had a really fun conversation out of this one naming our great movie moments!)
22. A really bad situation that gives you a really GREAT story! It was a day that could have left us frustrated and ornery, but then my mom asked 'so what is the gift in today?' (We had been talking about this book...) I thought for about a second and then laughed because I knew the answer... A really GREAT story!
23. A smile that can still turn my insides to mush!
24. Teenagers who still like to hang out with their parents!
25. Sleeping late!
26. The sound of waves crashing on the shore.
27. Finding a new, warm snuggly sweater (and getting to buy it!)
28. Connecting with old friends.
29. Opportunities to show grace that become moments to giggle about!

I have a bunch more since I missed last week, but I think I'll do another post later in the week since this one is getting a little long... I'll have some photos to go with that post!!

Hope you had a wonderful Easter... So much to be thankful for!

Taking On A Challenge...

2011-04-11T21:55:00.001-04:00

Not many books inspire me to blog about them, but I've found one that has... It's called "One Thousand Gifts", and I really don't know how to describe it... It's raw... honest in a way that most books aren't (well, their authors)... It's profound, maybe one of the most profound books I've ever read... and I think God might use it to change some things that need changing in my life...

You just need to read it... but at the heart of the book is a woman's journey to discover and journal 1000 gifts, daily blessings in her life. It's not about the obvious things... our husband, children, homes, food on the table, health... This is about those daily moments that we miss because we don't take the time to live in the moment...

I hesitate to take on a challenge such as this... but something tells me I need to... to blog each Monday about my blessings from the previous week, until I reach 1000... Something also tells me that if I will be faithful...committed...If I will persevere in this challenge... God will transform my heart along the way...

So I'm going to take it on... And if I miss a Monday, please don't hesitate to hold me accountable...

I've already got a few, so I guess I'll get started today...

1. The sound of the coffee pot as it sputters the last drops telling me that my morning coffee is ready...
2. Words that express ideas in a way that breathes new understanding in to my heart and takes my breath away...
3. Text messages that remind me that someone special loves me...
4. Warm breezes that inspire me to take a walk...
5. Songs with lyrics that make you want to grab hold of their truth and live it...

So it's a short start, but it's a start... I'm so looking forward to what this journey holds...

A Reason To Praise!!

2011-03-25T07:51:00.000-04:00

As I look at the world around me, there is some really hard stuff going on right now... Japan is at the top of that list... My heart just breaks for what the people of that nation are having to live through, especially in the areas hit hardest by the tsunami... but as I watch news reports, my heart also aches for the people of Li*b*ya... To live in fear under such an oppressive, evil regime... To fight with all you have to be set free... I can't imagine a day to day life like that...

And yet (and this is not where I had planned to go with this blog, but wow... what a parallel!!)... That is such a picture of the spiritual regime that the world is under, apart from Christ!! There is a very real enemy who oppresses... enslaves... seeks to kill and destroy... and people will fight him a million different ways to try and escape... food, alcohol, shopping, promiscuity, pornography, even tv... But here's the thing... Just like the re*bels fighting in L*ya... On our own, we just don't have the weapons to win... But all is not lost, with Jesus, victory is already won... It may not look like it some days... maybe alot of days... But we have got to learn to live in the truth of what's already been accomplished on the cross!! Jesus WON!! We He arose on the 3rd day, He defeated sin and death, once and for all!! Now that's a reason to praise...

But I had another reason this morning too... It's where I originally planned to go with this post... I read Psalm 100...

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."

What an awesome Psalm... Because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross, we belong to God!! We are His people... His treasured possession!! No matter what is happening in our lives, we can still praise Him because we can trust His faithfulness and His love!!

When I think about our Great and Mighty God, comparing Himself to a shepherd... WOW... a dirty, nasty job... yet the shepherd loved his sheep... he would do whatever he could for them... and that's the image that God gives us of Himself... AMAZING!!

I know life can be so hard, but keep your eyes on THE Shepherd... He loves you beyond anything you can imagine... He is faithful, no matter what the circumstances might look like... and He is victorious!! He paid with His life to buy us back from the enemy... What more reason do we need to praise!!

Have a GREAT weekend...

So What About?

2011-03-22T08:04:00.000-04:00

The Psalm I read this morning was Psalm 145, verses 13-18... I admit I struggled a little when I first read it... Here's how my thought process went... (My thoughts are in parenthesis)...

"Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made." (Ok... but what about the people in Africa? Do they feel loved?)

"The LORD upholds those who fall down and lifts up all who are bowed down." (Definitely know the truth of that!!)

"The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time." (Ok, I believe that ALL of the Bible is true, but I'm struggling with this one... Not everyone has food... Many die every day from starvation... How do I make this work in my head?)

"You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." (Still struggling, some just desire food and water... You're definitely Enough for all my needs...but what about the hunger thing?)

"The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth." (I get loving everyday...but I'm not hungry...do hungry people get it?)

So there's a very real and honest look at what was happening in my head and heart... But here's what God reminded me of...

For whatever reason, God has CHOSEN to use the church to be His hands and feet to the world, at this time. He doesn't need to do that... Just look in the Old Testament... He made manna and quail rain down from heaven and He fed the Israelites as they wandered in the desert... He told Moses to strike a rock and water flowed from a rock... God is perfectly capable of providing, all by Himself.

But that is not how He has chosen to do it... He has given US the BLESSING of being His hands and feet... I remember the first time I gave a man a grocery card on the side of the road... I got a little ways down the road and had to pull over because I was crying so hard... I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed at the blessing and privilege of getting to help someone in need!

And yet, I live like I think that getting a new sweater or a new pair of shoes is an even greater blessing... But it's NOT... New anything has NEVER once blessed my soul like helping someone else

So, is Scripture wrong? NO!! Is God falling down on His job? NOOOOO!! We (the church) are the ones who are misrepresenting our Great and Glorious God to the world! Too many of us (like me) have bought into the lie that stuff will bless us and bring us happiness... but that's what it is... a lie!

There is no greater blessing than having the opportunity to show God off... to proclaim His greatness... His provision... His generosity... to someone in need!

Scripture is true about God... it is the responsibility of the church to make sure the world sees and knows that!!

Oh The Things She Says...

2011-03-18T13:19:00.000-04:00

Last night we were walking across the field to watch Zack's soccer game... Abby was wearing the most adorable black cardigan with pink hearts and she looks up at me and says,

"Mommy... Do I look like an old lady when I button this?" I laughed out loud... "No really, someone asked me today if I was wearing your sweater!" Oh my... I guess that makes me an old lady!! TOO funny...

Lingering Thougts From The Mats...

2011-03-16T01:01:00.000-04:00

So three days have passed and I can't stop thinking about Nick as he fought off getting pinned by his opponent on Saturday night...

It's made me ask myself... Do I ever resist the enemy of temptation in the same way he resisted getting pinned by his opponent? Do I want victory over sin so badly that I'm willing to fight, no matter how much it requires of me?

The lures of this world are SO easy to say 'yes' to... It is so much easier to give in to them than it is to fight them off...

I so want my life to mirror what I saw as Nick resisted his opponent on the mat... And I want to win... Jesus gave His life so that I could know victory on the "mats" of temptation... So I truly need to resist temptation with all that is within me...

The battle is over... the victory has been won... it's time for me to live like it, every day... in every moment!!

Lessons From The Mats

2011-03-13T15:55:00.001-04:00

It seems that Nick has found his sport... wrestling! He tried it a couple of years ago and didn't really like it, but a couple of his friends convinced him to try again last spring and he really loves it. He started wrestling in matches at the end of January and I'm amazed at his progress... He just keeps getting better and better!

I love watching Nick wrestle (that took a few matches to get to the place where I could honestly say that, it just looks SO painful)... I don't think I've ever seen such determination and perseverance... Last night he wrestled in the state AAU tournament and he was wrestling the guy who ended up winning first place... The other guy was good, he was pinning everyone he wrestled with seeming ease... And then he came up against Nick... Nick took the early lead in points 5-1 and the kid didn't like it...

Somewhere along the way, the kid discovered a weak point for Nick, his left shoulder and from then on it was painful to watch... He would take his head and grind it into Nick's shoulder and pull back on his arm. Actually, I'm stunned that the move is legal, but it is and this kid was out to win, even if meant inflicting injury. Twice, the ref had to stop the match so the kid wouldn't hurt him too seriously and at one point I really thought Nick was seriously hurt... When Nick acts hurt, he is hurt... He has a pain tolerance that blows me away...

But after a couple of minutes, Nick wanted to continue... They ended up in overtime and Nick lost 9-8... But I was so proud of him... He fought so hard...

As he sat and waited for his last match, he looked at me and said, "I really don't want to wrestle again, I am so sore, but I'm going to see this thing through." As his mom, I wanted to tell him to stop... not to risk further injury... but something in me told me to be quiet... that this was important and as painful as it might be to watch, I needed to let him choose his course.

His last match started and as the end of the first round came close, his opponent got him on the floor, so close to pinning him (both shoulders have to be touching the mat for it to be a pin)... But in spite of the pain, Nick fought and he fought hard... We watched him arch his back, push with his legs, twist and turn... fighting to keep one shoulder off the mat and he managed to do that for a good 15 seconds... I've never seen such fight and determination... It was SO hard for a mom to watch...

The first period ended and the score was 5-1, that's really difficult to come back from in a match like this... But before we knew it, Nick had his opponent on the mat fighting to pin him... For a good 15 seconds Nick fought hard to get both of his opponent's shoulders on the mat and finally that beautiful sound of the ref's hand slapping the mat... Nick had done it!! He won and finished 3rd at his first ever AAU tournament!!

As I've reflected on last night's match, a couple of things have hit me...

The first was about the wrestler who won first place... Now let me say clearly, I am not in any way comparing this kid to the devil (although I probably felt differently last night)... But there is such a parallel here... The kid found Nick's weak spot and went after it... Over and over and over... His intent was to win, no matter what the cost was and that's exactly how the enemy comes after us...

He finds our weak spot and he goes after it... Whether it's a tendency to gossip... Be insecure... Overeat... Drink too much... Overspend... The enemy goes after it over and over until he finally breaks us...

So what to do... Well, one of the other dads who was watching Nick told him, "keep your elbows in, you're giving your opponent the opportunity to thread his arms through and pull your arm." Sure, Nick needs to work to make that shoulder stronger, but even more importantly is learning how to protect it so the enemy (oops...I mean opponent) can't take advantage of it...

And that's exactly what we need to do... we need to come up with strategies to keep the enemy from getting a hold on our weaknesses and exploiting them and causing damage to our hearts and souls... Whatever it is, there are things we can do to protect those weaknesses...

But there's something else that hit me about last night... As Nick wrestled his opponents, especially that last one, there was a group of us cheering him on with all our might... We were shouting for him to fight... to pin him... some of the dads who know wrestling were shouting for him to keep his head up... There was encouragement... There was counsel and advice... But we all wanted him to win... It's almost as if we were willing our strength into him and when he won... WOW... a cheer went up, we were so excited for him! It was so much fun to watch one of his teammate's dads who was coaching him... he was SO excited!!

And that's how it should be as a family of believers... We should be cheering each other on to victory... sometimes it with words of encouragement... sometimes advice and wise counsel... sometimes a gentle reproof... but their fights should become our fights... their defeats should feel like our defeats... and we should celebrate their victories like they were ours...

Because I believe that that's exactly what happens in heaven... Hebrews 12:1 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..."

When we come alongside our brothers and sisters in Christ and cheer them on through life's battles, it's as if we are pulling back the veil and giving them and the world around them, a glimpse of heaven. I am so appreciative of the families and coaches who are loving our son so well with their encouragement... they are cheering him on to run his race well... on and off the mats!

Let's find someone we can cheer on every day and bring a little heaven to earth...

Our One True Hope...

2011-03-11T07:49:00.001-05:00

So it's Day 3 of my new devotion... I didn't set out intending to write every day, and I'm still not quite ready to make that commitment, but we'll see where this goes... (Warning... this one is a little heavy, but it's what is on my heart this morning...)

Today the Psalm is Psalm 130... When I first read it, it didn't hit me... So I slowed down and read it again, and again, and then again... I started to put myself in the shoes of the writer... What was he feeling? Had I ever felt that before? And that's when I really started to get this Psalm...

In verse 1, the writer says, "Out of the depths I cry to You, O LORD..." Out of the depths... I've been there before, it's a wretched place to be, but sadly I can't say my first response is always to cry out to God... Usually I go looking for relief at the mall, or in a movie, or too often, a bag of M&M's...

Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result... I guess by his definition, I must be a little insane, because more often than not, when I find myself, even on the ledges just above the depths, I try too many other places before I cry out to God...

Now I'm thinking that the writer is suffering because of some sin because he talks about sin in verses 3 & 8... But again, it prompts me to ask, does my own sin ever burden me like it is the writer? Or am I too busy trying to escape it that I don't really notice...

But here's what I love about the Psalm... Instead of running to all the other places he could run to for relief, he just waits for God, knowing that the only true relief will come from Him... He writes, "I wait for the LORD (Yahweh... the biggest name for God, representing ALL His glory and greatness)... my soul waits..." Don't you just sense this longing in him... "In His Word, I put my hope..." He's not trying to escape his pain, he's just waiting for God to show up and redeem his pain...

He says again, "My soul waits for the LORD more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning..." That's some pretty serious waiting and watching... I've never been a watchmen, but I can imagine that darkness was a really scary time for them... And think about this... The watchmen waited for the morning because they were CERTAIN that it would come!!

And that's what the author of this Psalm gets... He can wait for God to show up because he is just as certain that God is coming as he is certain that the morning will come after the dark!!

And here's why... "O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption. He Himself will redeem Israel from all their sins."

He waits on the LORD, in the midst of his deepest suffering because he KNOWS... Beyond a shadow of a doubt... that God will show up because of His GREAT love!! And that great love will bring full... complete... redemption where NOTHING is lacking!! And God Himself does it!! He reaches down into the pit of our life... the muck of our mess and lifts us out... If we just wait for Him!

Nothing will EVER bring such satisfying relief, such complete redemption as God Himself... I don't know about you, but I think it's time for me, no matter what's causing me to feel like I'm in the depths, to stop this insanity and run to Him!

Have a GREAT day...

Mind Blowing...

2011-03-10T07:39:00.000-05:00

So it's Day 2 and the reading is Psalm 34... I don't know what it is about Mr. Giglio's method that he teaches, but it's getting me to slow down and really consider things I've never considered before... Here's what hit me this morning...

Verses 4-8... "I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; He saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them. Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

Now remember, we're talking about GOD... Sovereign Creator of the Universe... THE One who holds all things in place... The One (from yesterday) who is so BIG that He can gather the sea into a jar... Consider what this Psalm teaches us about Him.

HE is available and HE answers us... HE delivers us (personally) delivers us from our fears... HE is our source of joy... HE hears us when we call... HE saves us... HE sends a messenger to watch over us... HE is our refuge...

To think about our Sovereign, Mighty, Holy God being so intimately involved in my little life that is just a blip on the radar of eternity, just blows my mind... I can completely understand why David wrote in Psalm 8:4, "What is mankind that You are mindful of them? Human beings that You care for them?"

I'm looking forward to chewing on this one all day!! Have a great day!

Just Wow!!

2011-03-09T08:18:00.000-05:00

I started a new devotional this morning... Louie Giglio has a book for students called (well, I'm not sure what to call it...) One side is called, "Wired For a Life of Worship..." but you flip it over and upside down and it's called "30 Day Worship Journey." It is the coolest book! It's all about how we're 'wired' to worship God and the Journey part is all about learning to know and praise God through His word...

The first Psalm that you meditate on is Psalm 33... And here's what made me go WOW... Verse 7 says, "He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; He puts the deep into storehouses."

Now I'm a sissy, but the ocean terrifies me... I don't like to swim in it and I am filled with dread when I have to fly over it, like on the trips to Africa... I hate that moment when you realize you're no longer over land and it's just a black sea of water and creatures below you, my insides shrivel up and I just have to pray or be overcome by anxiety.

But this verse tells me that God is so BIG... so MIGHTY... He can put the sea into jars! Now think about your grandmother's mason jar for a minute... The sea, that overwhelms and terrifies me is nothing to God!! And the deep, the places that we can't even imagine, He can scoop them up into a little old storehouse!

It just makes me ask myself the question... Why do I fear anything? I am a beloved daughter of this Great God who can put the sea into a mason jar!! He bought me with a very high price, His precious Son Jesus, and as Paul so perfectly writes in Romans 8:31, "if God is for us, who can be against us?" That verse takes on a whole new meaning when I consider it in light of the mighty power of God!!

He is truly an AWESOME God... I can't wait to see what the rest of this 30 day journey holds... The sea in a mason jar... Just WOW!!

And The Winner Is...

2011-03-02T21:58:00.000-05:00

I just had Zack (my oldest) do the drawing for the $50 gift certificate for anyone who put my Designing For Hope button on their blog... And the winner is Tonia at Redesign + More!!

Congratulations Tonia... Thank you for your support!!

If you have any last minute purchases that you'd like to make, I'll extend Lori's fundraiser until March 15, so she'll still be receiving 10% of purchases...

Blessings...

She Loves To Be Loved...

2011-02-25T21:13:00.002-05:00

Something struck as I laughed at Abby running to beat me to get Scott's first hug this evening, when he came home from work... She loves to be loved!!

Makes me think about my Heavenly Father... Do I love to be loved by Him? Do I soak in it? Do I relish it like Abby? Do I run to spend time with Him? Do I overflow with joy like she does? Simply because I'm loved?

I want to be like Abby!!

Reduced Prices!!

2011-02-21T08:21:00.000-05:00

If you've been waiting to make a purchase to support Lori's fundraiser, now would be the time (I'm donating 10% of my jewelry sales to her adoption, 2 precious boys from China)... I've made enough purchases that I'm starting to get better prices on my supplies, so I decided to go ahead and lower the prices on my website to reflect my better pricing... EVERYTHING has been reduced!!

Here's a couple of examples... But remember, EVERYTHING has been reduced!


Was $35... Now $27.95

Was $30... Now $24.95

The better my new pricing... the better your new pricing! I'm passing my savings on to you!! So if you've had your eye on something, it's a great time to buy!

And don't forget... I'm doing a drawing at the end of the month for a $50 coupon towards a purchase on my website! Here are the details...

There are 3 ways to get your name entered…

1. If you post my button on your blog... (The code is on my right side bar, under the Designing For Hope button)...

2. If you donate your 20% to Lori, when you make a purchase (I was offering a 20% discount for posting my button on your blog!)

3. If you write a post about this fundraiser…

So you could get your name entered up to 3 times in the drawing… Just make sure you send me the link to your blog… If you have any questions, e-mail me at sharlam@d4hope.com.

Happy Shopping!

The Secret to Success & Happiness (According to Nick!)

2011-02-17T18:43:00.001-05:00

So maybe Happy of the Seven Dwarfs was on to something...

Nick is an exceptionally smart child (we have the IQ test to prove it), but he struggles with attention and so it makes school a bit of a challenge. But lately, Nick has been making drastic improvements in school! I am getting positive e-mails from his teachers, his grades are coming up, his attitude is more positive.

On the way home from school today, I asked him, "Nick, what's different? What has changed to bring about this improvement?"

I thought for sure he would say something like, "Mom, your encouragement has paid off..." Or maybe, "Because you kept fighting for me and never gave up." Maybe even break into "The Wind Beneath My Wings..." (I AM kidding... sort of!)

But guess what he said... Are you ready for this? He didn't miss a beat... He said, "I started whistling. Whistling makes me happy!"

Yep... You read it here first... The secret to success and happiness... 'Just whistle while you work!' According to Nick, it doesn't even have to be a tune, just whistle.

He laughed at me the rest of the way home because as hard as I tried... I can't whistle!!

I love that kid!!

A Sweet Valentine's Day!!

2011-02-14T20:44:00.000-05:00

Today was a REALLY special day... It started with my wonderful husband surprising me with lunch and flowers... He came home from work with one of my favorite treats... Summer sausage and cheese, flowers and a really special card!

Then, this evening we (Scott and I, with Mackenzie and Abby and our good friend's daughter, K) went down and served dinner to the men at one of the rehab facilities in our city... I've written about it before, but essentially they are a facility for men who are fighting addictions.

This was the first time we took Abby and Mackenzie and I admit, I was a little unsure... They both tend to be shy in new situations and I had no idea how they would respond in this one. So yesterday, when I was explaining to them what we were going to do, I said, "Abby, remember how I told you that you are SO special that God sent us all the way across the world so you could know Him? Well, He thinks these men are SO special that He wants us to go serve them dinner so He can show them how much He loves them!"

That was all it took... They were AMAZING tonight... They smiled... they served them dessert and interacted with them and as we finished serving dinner, I have never been so proud! I looked over and all of the girls (another family was there with their teenage daughter) had gone over and sat down with one of the men that was sitting by himself.

They talked to him, they listened to his stories and it's clear that they were deeply affected by all he had been through... They've already asked when we can go back!

I wrote once about Africa that it is so hard to leave because the spirit of God is almost tangible... That's because I believe that God always shows up where people are desperate for Him...

Well, I realized tonight that His Spirit is just as tangible in an American city in a dining room with 100+ broken men... It's evident in the people who are there to volunteer... It's evident in the employees... Tonight, it was evident in an 8 year old girl, who God brought across the world, to show these men just how much He loves them! Once again, I learned that God shows up in the places where people are most desperate for Him!

I can't think of any greater privilege or blessing than GETTING to show God's love on Valentine's day! Like the girls, I CAN'T wait to go back!

If I REALLY Got It....

2011-02-13T23:32:00.000-05:00

A question has been on my heart alot lately... I mean ALOT... Like, no matter how much I try to escape it, it just won't go away!

I've been wondering, if I really got... I mean really, REALLY got, how BIG...how HUGE... how HOLY... our God is... would my life look any different?

Somehow I think it would!

She Can Sure Ask Some Questions!

2011-02-11T09:16:00.000-05:00

Last week I had quite a few errands to run so I invited Abby to tag along (instead of hanging out with her older brother all afternoon)... I've learned over the years that car time = talk time and WOW did Abby want to talk! And what a wonderful conversation it was!!

The conversation started like this...

Abby - "Mommy, how do people know God?"
Me - "How do you mean?"
A - "Like the people who wrote the Bible, how did they know God?"

By this point I'm sending out a heavenly call for help... How on earth do I answer these questions?!

Romans 1 first came to mind, so I talked to her about how God is visible in creation and that often God will use creation to cause people to start asking questions... But then, many times, He will send someone to tell others about Him...

And then it hit me and I said, "Abby, did you know about God in China?" "No, I never heard of Him." "Abby, think about that... God loves you SO much, He thought you are so special and He wanted you know Him so much that He picked us, on the opposite side of the world, to come and be your family so you could know Him too..." I wish you could have seen the smile on her face as she thought about that!!

From there we talked about Adam and Eve, their first sin in the garden, and why Jesus had to die on the cross... At one point she asked, "If Mary was Jesus' mommy, does that mean God was married to Mary?" (Where on earth does she get these questions?!) "Well, not exactly..." And then I LOVED her response, "But I thought if Mary was His mommy and God was His daddy, then God would have to be married to Mary." (At least she has the order of things correct!!) I admit, I didn't find a simple way to explain that one, but we had a great conversation about faith...

We talked about how God gives us so much evidence of Him in so many things to help grow our faith so that when we come up against hard things to understand, we can trust Him and believe Him for the hard things...

It was a wonderful afternoon and 4 1/2 hours later (I thought she would have been SO bored!)... She said, "Mommy, I really enjoyed spending time with you... I like talking to you!" Talk about melting a heart... Complete puddle!!

I'm still in awe at all that God has done in her sweet little heart in just 2 1/2 years... Talk about a faith builder!! Adoption is a WONDERFUL journey... even the hard parts!!

New Inventory For Lori's Hope Raiser

2011-02-07T09:56:00.001-05:00

$35 - Gorgeous agate beads & swarovski crystal

I just uploaded some new inventory on my website... Remember, for all of February, 10% of my sales will be donated to Lori at Joy Unspeakable who is bringing home 2 adorable boys from China in the very near future.

But there's more...

If you pick up my button (just to your right on my sidebar) and put it on your blog, send me a link to your blog and I'll send you a coupon.

Now, with this coupon, you will have 2 choices... You can use the coupon for yourself and receive a 20% discount on your next purchase... OR you can donate your 20% and I'll give that to Lori too...

AND... I’m going to do a drawing at the end of the month for a $50 coupon towards a purchase on my website and there’s 3 ways to get your name entered…

1. If you post my button on your blog...

2. If you donate your 20% to Lori, when you make a purchase

3. If you write a post about this fundraiser…

So you could get your name entered up to 3 times in the drawing… Just make sure you send me the link to your blog… If you have any questions, or want something you don’t see on the website, e-mail me at sharlam@d4hope.com. Most anything you see in antique bronze can be done in a silver tarnish resistant chain that I love!! And if you see something that you like that's sold, most likely I can make it again, so send me an e-mail! Looking forward to hearing from you!!

Here's more that's new...

$30 - 24" long but can be worn shorter

$30 - Freshwater Pearl

$20 - Freshwater Pearl

$15 - Freshwater Pearl

Nuture or Nature?

2011-02-06T11:52:00.000-05:00

Warning... if you have a weak stomach, this might gross you out a little (it did me!!)

Our dinner conversation last night... (Nick is wrestling these days and ring worm is apparently a big problem among wrestlers..)

Me to my husband... "Did Nick tell you how he got rid of his latest case of ringworm?"

Scott... "No..."

Nick... "I took a knife, scraped it off and then put Clorox on it."

(My unspoken thoughts...OUCH!! Are you CRAZY? Surely Scott is going to reprimand him and tell him not to do that again... NOT!)

Scott... "Why didn't you just shave it off with a razor."

Nick... "I tried that first but it wouldn't get up under it."

Scott... "Oh okay..." (Translation... "Sure Nick, that makes total sense.")

I thought when the movie Rambo came out years ago that it was a bit far fetched... Not so much anymore... Nick has said that when he gets older he might just live in a tent in the woods and catch his own food (or eat tree bark!)

He was thrilled when we came home from our anniversary weekend and (as a joke) brought him bacon and cheese flavored crickets!

So regarding the age old question, 'nurture or nature?' This one definitely goes to nature... I can assure you, I did NOTHING to nurture these Grizzly Adam's characteristics (and other than an occasional... and I mean RARE... camping trip, neither did his dad)!

Kids... they keep life interesting!!

Mystery Meal Fun!

2011-01-28T08:26:00.000-05:00

I'm having a hard time believing it but our sweet Mackenzie turned 13 this week... WOW... Where did the years go?

We have a tradition about birthday parties in our family... The first time they get to have a big friend's birthday party is when they turn 10 (family/best friends only before that...)... Then again at 13 and 18... For their 16th birthday, they get a weekend trip to the BMW driving school (we don't have a BMW but it's an AWESOME driving school where you learn to drive in all kinds of conditions)...

So this was a big birthday party for Mackenzie and she chose to have a Mystery Meal... In case you don't know, with a Mystery Meal you choose 10+ items and you name them, even the utensils...

So our menu went like this...

Fork - A Miniature Farm Appliance
Spoon - A Shapely Shovel
Knife - Ripper's Delight
Lemonade - Golden Sweet & Sour
Cheese/Sausage Balls (appetizer) - Porky Mouses Favorite Toy
Salad - Peter Rabbit's Downfall
Rotini Spaghetti (she likes spaghetti made with rotini) - Spirals of Love
Texas Toast - Cheers for Southern Stinky Breath
Filo Pastry filled with Chocolate Kisses - Snuggled Smooches
Ice Cream - A Screaming Matter
Conversation Hearts - Heartfelt Love Notes

The girls were given a menu with only the made up names (each item was numbered) and they had to choose which items they wanted in which course (We had 3 courses)...

For example, one girl ended up with Rotini spaghetti, ice cream, lemonade and a fork... Some of the girls didn't choose a utensil for their first course. I had put chop sticks on the table as an option, but some gave up and used their fingers... It was quite funny!

Mackenzie ended up with her dessert in her first course, so we stopped everything and sang Happy Birthday to her! It was fun watching the girls go from really uncomfortable and unsure about how to eat without utensils to playing the game all out... Ice Cream with fingers... Cheese/Sausage Balls on a chopstick... Civilized conventions went out the door... They even started telling us they didn't want their utensils!!

And if you will indulge me for a minute, I'm going to be a proud mom... But for her 13th Birthday party she asked me to print on her invitation that instead of birthday gifts, she would like for a donation to be made to Project Canaan at Heart For Africa... (Looks like she has a trip to Africa in her future! God has really grabbed her heart for children who are hungry!)

Here are a few photos from her Birthday night... She prefers a homemade cake so we always get a little silly with the decorations... Might not be as pretty as a store bought cake, but it sure tastes better and it's alot more fun!

(I definitely need to get a real cake pan... that cookie sheet looks AWFUL!!)

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl... You are such an amazing blessing to our lives!!

Hope Raiser Is On Now...

2011-01-25T06:40:00.002-05:00

So sorry... I realize my last post about Lori's fundraiser wasn't clear... It starts now through the month of February. February is a short month and I wanted to be sure she got a FULL month! But I realize my post didn't read that way!

Hope Raising... Help Bring Home 2 Boys!!

2011-01-24T08:04:00.001-05:00

(Just in case you're clicking right to this post... The fundraiser is from January 24 - February 28!)

For the last few months I've been posting from time to time about my new jewelry design business, Designing For Hope, where I use the profits to fund our mission trips to Swaziland... But it's really been on my heart that not only is Africa near and dear to my heart, so is adoption... So I've decided that I want to do some fundraisers for families who are adopting... And today starts my first Designing For Hope adoption fundraiser... A Hope Raiser!!

Lori, at Joy Unspeakable, has been given approval to bring home not 1, but 2, precious boys. So I've decided to take the month of February and donate 10% of my sales to her...

But there's another part to this...

If you pick up my button (just to your right on my sidebar) and put it on your blog, send me a link to your blog and I'll send you a coupon.

Now, with this coupon, you will have 2 choices... You can use the coupon for yourself and receive a 20% discount on your next purchase... OR you can donate your 20% and I'll give that to Lori too...

AND... I’m going to do a drawing at the end of the month for a $50 coupon towards a purchase on my website and there’s 3 ways to get your name entered…

1. If you post my button on your blog...
2. If you donate your 20% to Lori
3. If you write a post about this fundraiser…

So you could get your name entered up to 3 times in the drawing… Just make sure you send me the link to your blog… If you have any questions, or want something you don’t see on the website, e-mail me at sharlam@d4hope.com. Most anything you see in antique bronze can be done in a silver tarnish resistant chain that I love!! And if you see something that you like that's sold, most likely I can make it again, so send me an e-mail! Looking forward to hearing from you!!

God Is At Work...

2011-01-21T07:38:00.000-05:00

I'm going to send you over to another blog today because I have a dear friend who has a 16 year old daughter and the work that God is doing in her and through her is worth taking the time to read... It will bless your heart!

Let me tell you a little bit about her story... A few months ago, this young woman heard about an orphanage in Ghana that was being built to give a home to children who are rescued from slavery on the fishing boats. Yes, slavery... She actually saw a chief take out his notebook that was like an inventory of the boys...

Anyway, God grabbed hold of her heart and gave her a passion for this orphanage... Then He gave her a vision to do a benefit concert for them. So in May, she and a team of other AMAZING teenagers, are putting together a concert with Kristian Stanfill, Josh Wilson and Unhindered... ALL are fantastic and you regularly hear Kristian Stanfill and Josh Wilson on Christian radio stations..

So then God called her to go to Ghana... I wasn't surprised about that because something I've learned is that when God gives you a passion, He also gives you a story. And with Africa, you have to go and experience it to have a story because it's impossible to imagine what it's really like...

So now she's back from Ghana and she's writing about it... And that's where I want to send you. The post from last night will rock your heart, but if you have time, go back and catch up with the other teens too, you won't be sorry... But at least read her other entries from the start of the trip...

A 16 year old whose heart is (in her words) "to make Jesus famous." Makes me stop and ask myself... Is that the driving desire for my own life?

So go check out the blog... Ghana Rock And if you stop by and God moves your heart, please leave them a comment... It's so refreshing to see teenagers who are giving their life away, so let's encourage them!

Coming Next Week!!

2011-01-20T07:58:00.001-05:00

I am so excited... God put a very special idea on my heart and I can't wait to tell you about it. There's a little (really A LOT) more work to be done before I'm ready to announce the details, but I can tell you what it's about... I'm working with a very special blog friend to do a fundraiser for her family (here's a hint, she's a JOY to read), through my jewelry business, Designing For Hope. They've been approved to bring home 2 (TWO) boys from Ch*na and as you can imagine, that's a VERY expensive endeavor. I truly believe that caring for the orphan (James 1:27) means coming alongside those who are adopting and walking with them and helping to carry the burden when possible...

I'll give you the details on Monday and it will run through the month of February... And I'm working on putting LOTS of new inventory on the website so you'll have plenty to chose from! (I'm adding some new photos of previous designs too... Learning to photograph jewelry is a work in progress!) If you want to sneak a peak over the next few days and you see something you love, I'll count those purchases toward her fundraiser!!

And just in case you're new to my blog, my jewelry business (Designing For Hope) is for the purpose of raising funds to travel to Swaziland for mission trips... That's where the rest of the profits go! And we're going again next summer!! And this time, I'm taking 2 of our children... Our sons!! I can't wait!!

Here's a preview of some of the new designs...

Sweet, Sweet Moments...

2011-01-18T20:55:00.001-05:00

Tonight held one of those unexpected moments of such utter sweetness that it took my breath away... It was such a simple thing...

Abby has this funny little routine where she nestles herself down in a cocoon of blankets. It's quite fun to watch and last night I learned that there is a very specific order to the blankets... She knew which one came first, then second... all the way to number... well, I lost count...

So tonight, as we went through the routine again, she began to remind me of where each blanket came from...

The first is her pink snuggly... "PawPaw and Granny gave me this."

Next, a pink, white and red polka dot blanket... "Mommy, you gave me this on my first Valentine with you."

Next comes the purple fuzzy blanket... "You gave me this when I came home from China."

From there she layers on one of those fleece tie blankets... "I went with you to pick out this fabric."

Next is a beautiful blanket made by a special friend of mine... "Mommy, who is the lady who made this?" That she even remembers that it was made for her by someone is astounding to me...

Then the blanket that we bought her in China... "Her special China blanket."

And it's all topped off by a small afghan that my grandmother (who just passed away) wanted her to have... "Mama Hazel gave me this."

From there she pulled out each special animal that shares her bed and reminded me of those details also...The teddy bear that our best friends had waiting for her when she came home, the panda we gave her in China, the first kitty cat we bought her and the most recent addition of a pillow pet... She sleeps on a pillow made for her by Scott's grandmother...

Sweet Abby remembers where everything came from... Maybe she can't put words to it, but I have to think that somewhere in her heart, she gets how each one is a picture of how much she's loved... Such simple things speak of so much love...

And I love that she gets that...

If You're A Southern Girl...

2011-01-17T13:14:00.000-05:00

Ok... This is for all you Southern Belles out there... If you haven't read Boo Mama today and you want to laugh so hard you wet your pants, jump on over there... Thoughts On Pageants & Basketball It cracked me up...

P.S. Even if you're not from the South, but you're around my age (born in the 60's), you might think it's really funny too!

A GREAT Quote!!

2011-01-15T11:20:00.000-05:00

I am SO loving this journey through the Psalms and learning more about God, but also about how the men and women of the Old Testament related to and experienced God!

As I've been reading the Psalms, I've also been reading an incredible devotional by Warren Wiersbe*... This morning I read Psalm 44 and I read a quote in Wiersbe's book that I just had to post for everyone who is going through a hard time of waiting...

He said, "He always waits to do His will at a time when it will do us the most good and bring Him the most glory. (Now for the part I REALLY love...) The delays of God are not denials."

Let me write that again... "The delays of God are not denials." Denials of us or our circumstances... I think too often when God seems silent, we are like the writer of the Psalm... We think God has rejected us... Forgotten us... Or just gone to sleep on us...

But none of that is true... Just look at the cross... He gave His ONLY Son to die for us... EVERYTHING He does is for our good and His glory... We can trust that, even when our circumstances and our feelings seem to be telling us something different!

Whatever you're going through right now... CLING to cross and the UNFATHOMABLE love of God... He hears your prayers... He loves you beyond your wildest imagination... And He will answer in His time!

Remember... Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that FAR outweighs them all! (1 Corinthians 4:17)... Have a blessed weekend!

*Devotion by Warren Wiersbe is "Prayer, Praise & Promises, A Daily Walk Through The Psalms." It's out of print, but you can still find it from re-sellers...

Thirst Maker...

2011-01-14T11:40:00.000-05:00

For many years I have thought of those who know God in a really special way, as 'thirst makers...' They make me thirsty to know and experience God as they do (or did) as evidenced through their lives, writings, etc... Andrew Murray... A.W. Tozer... Steven Curtis Chapman... My Pop Charlie... My mom... My aunt and uncle (S & S), and my Pastor... and those are just a few! I have been so blessed to be surrounded by so many who each have a unique and special relationship to God and teach me new dimensions of what's possible...

Funny thing though... I've never thought of Kind David as a thirst maker! I guess I'm kind of slow... Paul has always been that person for me in Scripture... and Isaiah... Peter... John... even Job... But for some reason, never David, until now...

I think my problem with David has always been that he seemed kind of whiny to me... an emotional basket case... And frankly, I thought he was pretty vindictive against his enemies... Until today...

I was reading Psalm 43 when the light bulb finally came on... David wasn't whiny and vindictive... He was transparent and trusting! He took his problems to the throne... Maybe not 100% of the time, but as I'm starting to see, it was dependency on and desperation for God that characterized his life.

And I'm sure that David was more than capable of handling things on his own if he had chosen... He was king... There's no doubt that he was intelligent... strong... wealthy... and that he had an army at his beck and call... But the Psalms are teaching me that he didn't rely on those things, but on God!

Far too often I find myself relying on my own strength and abilities, rather than waiting on God. And the ridiculous thing is that anything I'm gifted at, is only because HE gifted and equipped me! HE is the ONE who prepared me for the works and purpose of my life, so why wouldn't I wait and rely on Him?

So as I continue my journey through the Psalms and seeking to know God more, I will also continue to let David inspire me and teach me how to live in relationship to our amazing God who loves us so much and who longs to be our EVERYTHING...

If Life Has You Down...

2011-01-13T10:33:00.002-05:00

Since I decided to spend this year focused on knowing God more, I figured what better place to start than in the Psalms... So many of them are written by David and it's clear that he had a special relationship to his Heavenly Father.

This morning I read Psalm 42 (I actually started reading the Psalms at the end of last year and that's why I realized it would be a great place to stay focused on God)...

In just 11 verses, twice David writes in 5 & 11, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God."

There's really no way to know why David was down... He could have had a lot of reasons... Maybe conviction over his sin... Afterall, he slept with another man's wife and then set her husband up to be killed... Maybe it's when his son died or his older son betrayed him and tried to overthrow him... Or maybe it was just the discouragement that sometimes comes when life seems hard to manage....

But here's what struck me... When David was down, he didn't choose to wallow in it, he fixed his eyes on the One who could truly make a difference. He praised Him and in verse 6, he remembered all that He had done. A wise friend told me once that when she's down, or life's problems get too big, she praises God because when we praise Him, we remember how BIG He is and our problems get so much smaller!"

There is NOTHING our God can't handle!!

But something else struck me too... We can hope in God because not only is He able, but also because He cares!! The other day, when I was reading Psalm 40, I was so struck by the first 3 verses...

"I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God."

What a personal, intimate picture of God... Sovereign Creator of the Universe!! HE will draw us out of the miry pit (even if it's one of our own making!)... HE will set our feet on a rock and make our path secure... HE will put a new song in our mouth...

So if life has you down, take a lesson from King David... Offer up a sacrifice of praise to our Great God (praise often is a sacrifice when we are struggling)... Think back over your life and remember the great things God has done for you... And then trust Him to draw you up out of the miry pit...

Not only is He able... He longs to be the one we trust and turn to!!

SNOOOOOOOOW Fun!!

2011-01-11T10:52:00.000-05:00

We had lots of snow in the south and even more fun!!

Mackenzie decided to see what would happen when she threw a cookie sheet full of snow into the air...

Abby's first snow angel...

Snow Tubing!

I LOVE this next series of photos... That's Zack being squished on the bottom!

A few kids fall off...

More fall off...

Children scattered down the hill...

Now Zack's just cruisin'!

Brothers!

Mackenzie getting ready for a ride down the hill...

But she gets a BIG surprise when her closest friend decides to hitchhike a ride too!

Love the laughter!

I love when Scott wears this hat!!

Zack's about to get a lesson in whose boss! (A fun lesson!)

Yeah... I can still take him!

But even with snow in his eyebrows and ears, he keeps coming back for more!

It was a FUN, FUN day!!

Love, Laughter and Hugs!

2011-01-08T00:39:00.001-05:00

I have to admit, I was kind of dreading this Christmas... You might remember, on Thanksgiving Day, my grandmother went home to Jesus. As Christmas approached, I realized that in 45 years, I can only think of 1, maybe 2, Christmases that I didn't spend with her! As a child she would often tuck me in with the warning that Santa didn't stop by houses where the children weren't asleep... I wonder if she ever knew how much harder it was to go to sleep after that? LOL!!

When we built our house 7 1/2 years ago, I spent an entire year and a half praying (more like pleading and begging) for just one more Christmas with her (she was in her 90's by then). I just wanted to have memories of my grandmother in our new house... I wanted to see her make biscuits in our kitchen, I wanted to see her oohh and ahhhh over her Christmas presents in our family room... And God was so gracious, He gave us 6 more Christmases with her and lots of laughter and memories...

Abby's first Christmas with us...

So, as you can probably understand, I just wasn't sure how this first Christmas would be without her... But while there were some REALLY sad moments, it was a Christmas full of love, laughter and hugs... Here some highlights...

Chillin' on Christmas Morning

(That's my mom... She doesn't do "chillin'"... That's what a servant's heart looks like from the outside!)

That's me opening one of my Christmas ornaments from the kids (every year each one gives me a Christmas ornament so I have a REALLY cool collection of ornaments from over the years! And I get my own tree to put them on...This is one of my favorite Christmas traditions!)

After Christmas we went to visit Scott's family... LOTS of cousins!!

Riding go-carts!

Next we went to my dad's house, but unfortunately I don't have any photos... My stepmom was sick, so it wasn't the usual visit...

Then we made an extra trip to visit the rest of my family... And our newest 'China' cousin!!

Nooooo... Our sons aren't competitive... Push-ups with children on their backs!

Out to dinner for New Year's Eve!

So there were so many AWESOME moments from Christmas, but there's one that is extra special from this year... If you've followed my blog for very long, you know that the first year with Abby was kind of hard. She let me care for her most basic needs, but that was about it... She didn't want hugs and she didn't want me holding her...

On New Year's Eve, as we were leaving for dinner, I went out on the back porch and yelled to our children that we were leaving... Abby stopped what she was doing and came running to the porch, she ran right up the stairs and gave me a BIG hug!!

I LOVE this picture!! Happy New Year from our family to yours!

Pretty Amazing To Think About...

2011-01-05T08:44:00.000-05:00

Before I start my post, I want to give you a link to an OUTSTANDING post I read this morning... It's by my cousin who just adopted again, you can read it at Stitching To China...

So, the reason for my post... Since I want to try and share some of my journey towards knowing God more this year, I thought I would start with something I read yesterday that has really grabbed hold of my heart and mind...

It's from Psalm 35:1-3 (NIV)...

Contend, LORD, with those who contend with me;
   fight against those who fight against me.
² Take up shield and armor;
   arise and come to my aid.
³ Brandish spear and javelin
   against those who pursue me.
Say to me,
   “I am your salvation.”

As I thought about these verses what hit me is that David is calling on God Almighty... Sovereign Creator of the Universe to take up a shield and armor... To brandish a spear and javelin... To be the one who goes against the enemy...

It made me think about the office of President... They have men who surround them and protect them... They don't pick up weapons and run into battle, they get as far away from danger as possible.

And yet, our GREAT God leads the charge, He goes before us!

There's a great story in 2 Chronicles 20 where a vast army comes against Israel and all the people of Israel had to do was stand still and sing praises while God routed the enemy for them...

Most of our enemies today are not tangible ones like King David faced, or the Israelites... But the truth still applies... Whether it's a financial enemy... the enemy of addiction... or gossip... or depression... whatever it is that you or someone you love is facing, God is your Mighty Warrior... He will not only go with you into the battle, He will pick up armor, spear and javelin and fight the enemy for you!

And we can be certain, when God is fighting the battle for us... HE (and therefore WE) will be victorious!

Sing praises and watch what He will do!

My Longing For 2011

2011-01-04T09:17:00.000-05:00

I can't believe this is my 3rd time doing this on the blog but as a New Year rolls around, once again God has put a longing in my heart for 2011...(you can read 2010 here 2010 Heart's Desire and 2009 here, 2009 Heart's Desire)...

In the past, I always felt like God was laying something on my heart that needed some work... To love more like Him... To guard my heart and not be so worldly... But something is different this year...

It began on Christmas Eve with a skit our church did at our Christmas Eve service. It was very simple, but the gist of it was 3 different people trying to give Jesus the perfect Christmas gift when all He wanted was them... Simple, but profound and it got me thinking...

I spend SO much time trying to serve Him that sometimes I forget to just spend time with Him and know Him... One of my favorite verses, I would probably even consider it my life verse, is Philippians 3:8:

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ..."

Paul considers all things garbage compared to knowing Christ... A big house... garbage compared to Christ... A cool vacation... garbage compared to Jesus... A new car... rubbish compared to Him... I could go on and on... But whatever it is that grips our hearts is garbage is compared to knowing Jesus!

Paul goes on in verse 10 and says simply, I want to know Christ... I want to know the power of His resurrection... Paul even considers suffering as an opportunity to fellowship with Jesus and know Him more...

If you know about Paul, then you know that he wrote most of the New Testament, he planted numerous churches, you could say that God used him to help firmly establish the early church and strengthen the church for all time... Wow, can you imagine being used by God like that?!

But from Philippians 3:8 and 10, it's clear that Paul had one primary mission in life... and it wasn't about what he would do... It was all about who He would know... everything else was the overflow of knowing Jesus!

How wonderfully simple to have a single focus in life!

So as I head in to 2011, I'm setting my heart on knowing Jesus more... Yes, I want to serve Him more... Yes, I want to know victory over the things I still struggle with... Yes, I want my heart and my life to reflect Him more... But I believe that all of that will come when I FIRST know Him more!

I don't want to make any big sweeping commitments about how much I'll write on my blog this year (I can never seem to follow through on those)... but I would love to share some of this journey with you... So I will do my best to write, at least weekly, something I'm learning about knowing Jesus more...

I want to leave you with the words of a beautiful song by Casting Crowns... To Know You... I think it says beautifully what God has put on my heart for 2011...

To know You is to never worry for my life
To know You is to never give into compromise and
To know You is to want to tell the world about You
‘Cause I can’t live without You

To know You is to hear Your voice when You are calling
To know You is to catch my brother when he is falling
To know You is to feel the pain of the brokenhearted
‘Cause they can’t live without You

More than my next breath
More than life or death
All I’m reaching for, I live my life to know You more
I leave it all behind, You’re all that satisfies
To know You is to want to know You more
To know You is to want to know You more

To know You is to ache for more than ordinary
To know You is to look beyond the temporary
To know You is believing that You’ll be enough
‘Cause there’s no life without You

All this life could offer me
Could not compare to You, compare to You
And I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You, knowing You

All this life could offer me
Could not compare to You, compare to You
And I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You, knowing You

And I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You, knowing You

An Amazing Evening!!

2010-12-23T00:50:00.000-05:00

It has been a tiring week... Last week I had a 2 evening show for my jewelry and then Monday and Tuesday this week, I did an Open House at our house... I love doing the shows, but they can be exhausting (lots of physical labor and late hours) and draining (I tend to be more introverted) so being 'ON' for that many hours is sometimes difficult. Add to that the emotional drain of my grandmother's passing and her not being with us for Christmas, and I'm just tired.

But for tonight, I had signed our family up to go and serve dinner at a local ministry that is a rehab facility for men struggling with addiction. I admit, I grumbled inwardly all day because I'm so behind and Christmas is just 2 days away... I even thought about telling my husband to go without me because I was at that place of tired where it seemed like tears would spill over at any minute... But there was something in me that wanted to go simply out of obedience to what God tells us to do... So I kept my grumblings to myself, put on my best face and went.

I was nervous... I always am in new situations like this... What would I say? How do I act? What if I accidentally offend someone?

We arrived about an hour before dinner and the first person I saw was a dear, sweet friend of mine and her family... It was their first time too, what a gift to get to serve with them! We were given our assignments so that everything would be ready and then G., who coordinates our group from church spent some time talking to us about what to expect... All of the men are battling addiction... So we were to serve them dinner and then get a plate for ourselves and go and sit with them.

I had NO clue what to talk about... But G. told us not to worry, God would give us words... Right on schedule the doors opened and the men filed in... They seemed genuinely pleased to see us... They had us introduce ourselves and one of our group offered a blessing... And then the men filed through the food line.

And at that moment, my heart started to break... Men of all ages... All different backgrounds... Addiction is color blind... culture blind... class blind... It grabs hold of whoever is vulnerable and takes them captive to a life that no one would choose... For the first 15 minutes I fought tears... But they were so happy... So grateful to us for showing up to serve... I looked around and saw a room full of hope! A room where Jesus, through His servants, is setting the captives free! It was AMAZING!

As the line dwindled, I knew the time was approaching when I would need to get a plate and find a place to sit... I did and it was just as G. had said, the conversation came naturally... No uncomfortable lulls... no awkward pauses... The men we talked to knew the mercy and grace of God in a very real way and they were happy sing His praise...

The last man left and even though 2 hours had passed, it seemed like a few minutes... And it was time for us to go. I could have stayed the evening, especially talking to one very special gentleman... There was just something about his spirit... You could tell he had been broken, but he was a man with faith... Faith that his Heavenly Father loved him... Faith that he would know victory in the battle of addiction... Faith that God had a very special plan for his life... The man was full of hope!

I was not ready to leave... Tired and grumbly were gone and in their place was joy... unexplainable... overflowing joy! There is something about serving those whom Jesus came to save that brings you into the presence of Jesus Himself... I've experienced it in Africa, on a street corner in our city and tonight in rehab facility... Jesus can always be found among those whom our society would consider "the least of these..." And more and more I'm realizing, I just like being where Jesus is!

Africa has taught me that consistency is SO essential... It's not enough to go just once... It's important to keep going back... And so I will... I may not have great words of wisdom to offer them... I will most likely never change or fix anything... But I can give them a smile... And a word of encouragement... And most importantly I can show them that no matter what the world may say, God sees them as His dearly Beloved children whom He takes great delight in...

Perhaps my biggest lesson of the evening... God blesses obedience!

A GREAT Story!!

2010-12-10T00:43:00.002-05:00

One of the things about adopting an older child that I have found to be particularly challenging is teaching her about God and Jesus... How do you explain God to a child who has never heard of Him and (in the beginning) doesn't speak the same language? Over the last couple of years she has asked MANY good questions like... Is Jesus coming for His birthday party? How old is He? How old is God? Who is God's daddy? And if God made us, then who made God? Pretty amazing questions for one so young...

But I have to admit, I've been a little discouraged because when I talk to her, I'm just not sure she really understands...

So today she came home from school and sat down with me to do her homework... I was working on jewelry and she was supposed to be writing her spelling her words when she looks up and says, "There's a little girl in my class who doesn't believe in God."

Me...'Really? That's pretty sad.'

Abby... "So I asked her, 'Then who made the world?'"

Me..."Well what did she say?"

Abby... "She told me it grew.... Now mommy, isn't that silly?!"

Me... "Do you understand why it's silly?"

Abby... "Not really"

Me... So I picked up a bead and I said, "Abby, can this bead decide to become an earring, all on its own?"

Abby with a giggle... "No mommy..."

Me... "You're right... It needs a creator, or a designer, to make something of it. That's just like the world... We needed a Creator... We couldn't just make ourselves on our own." (Now I admit, I didn't go down the path of trying to teach how God created from nothing... I'll save that mind boggling truth for another day!)

Abby... "So it really was silly. Well then I asked her if she knew what the Bible is... But I don't think she does... And do you know, she believes that Santa Claus is God! That doesn't even make sense!"

I don't know when these little seeds started to take root, but I couldn't be more thrilled that she feels strongly enough about the beginnings of her faith that she's willing to take a stand for it! How cool it is to watch faith as it begins to grow!!

Since I've been very remiss in posting photos lately, here's a few from our Christmas Tree Cutting this year... It amazes me how quickly they're growing!

That's our 12 year old daughter walking with her over 6 foot dad!

It's Open...

2010-12-07T17:42:00.000-05:00

My new web boutique is open!

www.d4hope.com

Keep checking back as I will be adding more over the next couple of weeks! Profits will go to finance our trips to Swaziland... Both of the boys want to go with me next summer, so I'll be working extra hard!!

Alexis did a GREAT job! You can find her at http://www.blogdesignsbyalexis.blogspot.com/!

Sneak Peak...

2010-11-30T12:38:00.002-05:00

I had planned to open my web boutique yesterday... But with my grandmother's home going, it just wasn't possible and really, it just didn't seem right yet. At her funeral, one of her friends was wearing a bracelet that she bought from me years ago when I first had my business... She said, "I wore this bracelet today because your grandmother was so proud of you for doing this..."

So as I thought about it yesterday, I decided to honor my grandmother and open my web boutique on her birthday, December 7! I'm so excited to give her a tribute in this way...

But I thought I'd give you another sneak peak at some of the things I've been working on since I posted a while ago... Designing a website is hard work, but Alexis has done a GREAT job, I can't wait for you to see it!

I can't promise that all of these items will be on the website since I have a show on Friday, but it's a taste of what you can expect to see there... And if you want to see even more, you can check out my flickr photo stream at D4HopeJewelry.

The most recent additions have an order number and a price below the photo, so if you see something you love, e-mail me at sharlam@d4hope.com and I'll set it aside for you and you can order it next week from the website...

N10-337b-$25 (I also have the keys in antique bronze)

N10-341b-$25

The next necklace can be worn long or doubled... This style is one of my favorites! I love to wear it long with another silver pendant, or double it and even let a pendant hang below it... The collage shows it short and long and then the beads up-close. The beads are beautiful! They're a turquoise/brown agate that I have a hard time finding...

N10-333-$58

This next necklace is made from some of the most beautiful cranberry colored quartz beads I've ever seen... I only had one strand and I'm not sure if I can get them again... This necklace is a little over 16" with a 3" extender...

N10-360 - $38

N10-374 - $15

N10-367 - $22

N10-372 - $28

Most Earrings Are $15

(The black agate earrings are $18)

Well, that's a sample of what I've been up to... There's ALOT more on my photo stream (link above), so feel free to check it out... If you live in my neck of the woods, I'll be at a market in the area December 15 & 16, I'd love for you to stop by... Just let me know and I'll send you the details!

Hope to 'cyber' see you next Tuesday, December 7...

She Went To A Shindig...

2010-11-29T01:17:00.000-05:00

My grandmother loved a story better than anyone... I think it's in all of our family's DNA because we ALL love a good story! We often laugh about how the stories that circulate through our family get bigger and bigger with each telling (kind of like a really good fish story)... But my grandmother left us with one last story that will never need embellishing, it is BIG on it's own...

On Thanksgiving morning she went to breakfast... She was so excited because she was going to a "shindig"! My mom was going to pick her up and they were joining my aunt and uncle (her son) at more of our family's house to celebrate Thanksgiving.

That morning, she went back to her apartment, put together all of her things because she was going to spend an extra night with my mom so they could go shopping on 'Black Friday.' Pretty amazing for a 97 year old woman! But on this Thanksgiving, God had something bigger in store for her... She got to go home! As she sat and finished getting ready to go, she quietly went to sleep and woke up in Jesus' arms... My mom found her with her bags packed by the door, only where she was going, we don't need bags to travel.

My grandmother did indeed go to a shindig on Thanksgiving Day, a homecoming party beyond our wildest imagination... She went to heaven.

I am sad, probably the saddest I've been in 12 years since my grandfather Pop died, but I'm so thankful for the years that God gave me with them... I am thankful for the example they set for me, I am so grateful for the love they poured out into my life...

My grandmother taught me that people love in different ways... With her, it was always a hot pan of biscuits, and fried salmon patties (some of my favorite)... Often there was a big pot of green beans and some fresh creamed corn... I never remember a time that there wasn't a bottle of Karo Syrup to eat with my biscuits and when she learned that Bama Grape Jelly was my favorite (and we couldn't get it where we lived) she always had an 'extra' jar waiting in the cabinet for me to take home.

None of the grandchildren ever have to wonder if she was proud of us because when we would go to visit, all of her friends knew who we were and EVERYTHING we were up too... And I LOVED that!!

My grandparents blessed me in so many ways... My heart is so full of incredible memories of times spent with them and the people they loved. Not only did I grow up surrounded by a wonderful family, including aunts and uncles and cousins... But my grandparents also filled my life with wonderful people from their church and community who lived and loved like Jesus...

As the memories roll past the window of my heart, there are so many that I wish I could grab hold of for a while and go back and visit... Mayfield Chocolate ice cream in the evening... stringing green beans... roasted peanuts... My grandfather shooting pecans out of the pecan tree and then sitting around and cracking them in the evening... 'Styling' my grandmother's hair on the nights before she went to the beauty shop... Manicuring her toe nails... Dipping my fingers in the buttermilk and patting it on the biscuits (my small contribution to the best biscuits ever)... Hanging out with my granddad at his grocery store... Family reunions that were full of fun and laughter... Trips to the beach... My granddad teaching me to parallel park... Running to watch the trains go by their house... Playing Skipbo with my grandmother... Hanging sheets on the clothes line and then running through them... I could go on and on... My grandparents left me with a memory full of smiles and laughter and legacy of love and faith that I pray will be passed on to my children.

I will be sad for a while... Christmas will be hard without my grandmother... Our next family trip to the beach will be difficult too... But today, I don't grieve without hope... Hope that because my grandparents knew Jesus as their Savior (and because I do too), I will see them again in heaven someday... And until that day, I have great comfort in knowing that I'm surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses cheering me on to finish the race well... And when that day comes, we'll have another 'shindig' that will go beyond anything we can dream or imagine possible! To borrow the words of an old hymn... "When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be... When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!"

Blogging For Hope...

2010-11-20T23:06:00.001-05:00

I said a couple of weeks ago that I would do a post from time to time about those who are raising funds to raise hope...

My cousin and her husband will be leaving for China soon to adopt their 2nd child and today they did a Both Hands project for a widow in their community... You can read about it here, Stitching To China. Would you consider making a small donation to them? Even $5 from 20 people adds up to $100 pretty quickly... You can click here to make a donation... Both Hands Once you're on the page, you have to scroll down to November 20 and look for Brook and Stefanie.

I also wanted to tell you about a dear friend's daughter who is taking on the impossible... She actually tells the story far better than I can, so I encourage you to read her words at Ghana Rock. But this is an amazing young woman who felt the nudging of God and stepped out in utter faith and obedience... I can't wait to see what God will do through her! She is 16 years old and is taking on planning a concert to raise funds for an orphanage in Ghana... I'm 45 years old and wouldn't have a clue where to begin to do something like that and yet she steps out in faith believing God for the impossible! It's an inspiring story!

And just a quick update... I'm so close to opening my web boutique for my jewelry! I'm in the process of uploading my inventory, so hopefully in another week I'll be posting the first items...

Blessings!

Some Days I Wish I Were My Dog!

2010-11-08T18:54:00.001-05:00

Today was one of those days... I'm sure most of you can relate to this but today I have worn more hats than should ever be reasonably expected of one person, no wonder my brain feels like mush and I don't want to cook dinner!

As I think through my day... I have been President of my Jewelry Company, lead designer, photographer, VP of Marketing, CFO, Accounting Specialist, Purchasing Agent, Inventory Specialist, Taxi Driver, Gas Station Attendant, Reading Specialist, Soccer Team Uniform organizer and distributor, team photographer, trouble shooter, listener, work-out mama, menu planner, master scheduler for not one, but 5 people and now I'm supposed to cook dinner and sort photos for the high school slideshow and to top it all off I need to be a maid and laundress... REALLY?!

Well, this taxi driver is about to drive her children to Chick-Fil-A and let them be the cook, and if the cleaning and laundry fairies don't come by, then I'll have just have to have a messy house with dirty laundry... Oh Well!

And we wonder why we're tired!

I caught this photo of our dog this morning when I was photographing jewelry for the website... Right now, it would definitely be nice to be my dog!!

I'm Just Not Ready!

2010-11-07T02:14:00.000-05:00

In some ways, this post will seem completely absurd, but it's been building for a year or so and I'm just going to lay it out there... I'm just not ready to think of Zack, our oldest, graduating from high school!

Tonight ended Zack's junior year soccer season and with it came the resounding reality that I only have one more high school soccer season left... It leaves me wondering, will the next 18 months be measured by 'one mores' and then 'lasts?'

Somehow I think the answer to that question is a definite yes...

I can't imagine what life will be like when he is not a daily part of it... When he doesn't call me to ask me when I'm coming to the soccer game because somehow he's missed packing his game jersey? Or, have I seen his shin guards because he can't find them! (Oh yeah, sorry Zack, I borrowed them the other night and forgot to put them back... NOT) Don't tell him, but I will miss all of this terribly!

I can't imagine a fall or spring without terrible refs... Soccer games... Impossible schedules... Freezing cold and rain... We've watched him play soccer since he was 4, it almost becomes a part of who you know yourself to be!

It is a gift to watch our children grown into adults and while I am thrilled that he is becoming the man we long for him to be, I'm just not ready!

I think the best use of my current (and slightly unreasonable heartache) is to remember to savor each moment! I will never get back the days that lay ahead, I pray that I will savor each one with no regrets!

New T-Shirt

2010-11-05T09:57:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited, my new Show Hope t-shirt is here!! I bought it from Lori at Joy Unspeakable (she's selling them as a fundraiser to bring their 3rd adopted child home!) It's a GREAT shirt, in fact, I'm wearing it right now!! Stop by her blog and check it out...

Blogging For Hope...

2010-11-01T14:45:00.002-04:00

Hi... I thought since I was designing jewelry for hope, I could start blogging for hope too... From time to time, if you have a fund raiser that you're doing to raise money to adopt your precious child, please let me know and I'll post a link to it...

Here are three that I know of right now... (Just click on the words in red and it will take you right to their site!)

Kirstin and her husband are adopting from Ethiopia. I first met Rob on a trip to Africa, last November, he was one of the lead pastors and he is a full time youth pastor. This summer I was blessed to meet his wife on the August trip! She sews the cutest things and is selling them to help fund their adoption... She's got some really fun things, great gift ideas!! Here is a link to her store...Journey to Africa

A great give-away over at Suzanne's blog! One Less Broken Heart

And Lori is selling an awesome Show Hope t-shirt from Steven and Mary Beth Chapman's organization, a portion of the proceeds go to Lori and her family's adoption... Joy Unspeakable Now that I've lost some weight, I'm heading over to her website right now to order one!

Please leave me a comment if you would like me to post a link to your fundraiser... If I have enough, I'll try and do it once a week, or if I don't have new ones, maybe I'll just keep reminding you about the ones I do know of!

What better way to bring hope to a child than by helping unite them with their forever family?!