To The Lake...

The kids and I are off to somewhere else in the south to hang out at the lake with my best friend and her kids for a few days (the dads get to join us for a short time too!)! We do this every summer and we have a blast! I'm excited because this will be Abby's first trip to the lake...

She's not too sure of the lake, she thinks it's "too big." But if her mama, who is afraid of water that she can't see to the bottom of (I'm really afraid of the creatures in the water) can jump in and swim, I bet she can too!

I don't think I'll have internet connection, so hopefully in a week I'll have some fun pictures... Then I'll have 3 days to pack and I'll be on my way to Africa!!!

Have a great week!!

Behind The Battles and Bad Behavior...

So, as I said yesterday, this post has been percolating in my heart (and head) for a few days. Several instances, not all involving my family, have stirred it up and a situation with Abby the other night really brought it to the forefront...

I need to start back when we first came home, almost a year ago (WOW, time flies!)... We had only been home a few days when Abby got really angry and threw one of her books, that we bought in China, down the stairs.

As an experienced mother of 3 children, my natural inclination was to "handle" it... Under normal circumstances, my attitude would have been, "No child gets away with that kind of behavior in our house." Our biological children will tell you, we expect respect and you never throw something in anger in our home.

But thankfully, the Holy Spirit seemed to slow me down and I realized that there was much more behind that thrown book than disrespect and anger... There was a child whose heart was breaking... A child who had left everything she knew and everyone she loved and just needed to grieve and grief isn't always neat, whether your 6 or 60. That morning, I pulled her onto my lap and she started to cry... The book ended up back on the shelf and our first outburst of grief and anger was safely behind us...

More followed in the coming months... A morning when she refused to get ready for school... Another morning when she refused to eat her breakfast... A Saturday afternoon when she refused to put away her clothes... But each time, instead of reacting with a need to "set the record straight," the Holy Spirit has reminded me of the tender, little heart that lies behind the battles and bad behavior.

A heart that has been hurt beyond anything most of us will ever know... A heart that has said 'goodbye' more times than any heart should ever have to say... A heart that has been afraid...uncertain...frustrated and broken. It takes time to heal a heart that has been hurt like that and it needs lots of love and tenderness.

Because of the past year, I am learning more and more to think about the hearts behind the battles and bad behavior...whether it's my children... a rude person at the store... or bullies at school... The bad behavior is simply a symptom of something broken and hurting on the inside.

Now, I'm not in any way suggesting that we forget the discipline and simply "love" them... To love them IS to discipline them when it's appropriate... But as I said the other day, discipline is consistent, day to day training... It is not "making your point" or "showing who's boss."

What would happen if we allowed the words of 1 Corinthians 13 to shape our discipline? I've replaced the word 'love' with the word 'discipline' because Hebrews 11:6 says, "The Lord disciplines those He loves..." discipline is a natural overflow of our love, and it should always be characterized by God's love... So discipline should look something like this...

"Christ like discipline is patient and kind...It does not boast (or lord it over others), it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Christ like discipline does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Isn't that such a picture of what God's discipline looks like in our lives? I wish I could say that my discipline always looks like that...but you know...it looks like it more today than it did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow, it will look like it a little bit more... Baby steps are still steps and thankfully, my Abba Father is patient...kind...not easily angered...always hopes and always perseveres....

And we'll move a little closer to Christ like discipline when we remember the heart behind the battles and bad behavior.

Another Great Recipe...Crockpot Mexican Chicken!

This is so ridiculously easy and so good...my family loves it! It's one of the rare meals when Abby goes back for seconds...

1 Bag of frozen chicken breast tenderloins (you can use whole chicken breasts, but the tenderloins, the size of chicken fingers makes it easier)

1 Bottle of Kraft Honey Catalina Dressing

1 Pack of taco seasoning...

Mix the dressing and taco seasoning together...dump it all in the crockpot and cook all day.

Take the chicken out and shred it, add the sauce back and serve with tortillas, like a burrito... or over chips like nachos, or on a salad. Add your favorite toppings and you're good to go. I know it sounds like a weird combination, taco seasoning and honey catalina dressing, but it is YUMMY!

Just FYI, Tostitos has a new whole grain chip that is AWESOME... I like them better than the regular corn chips!

Stay tuned tomorrow night for a serious adoption post... "Behind The Battles and Bad Behavior..." This one has been percolating for a couple of days...

A Great Read!

I just finished reading a really great book, but it will scare the socks off of you! It's called The Blood of Lambs by Kamal Saleem, it is a TRUE story!! I've copied in the book description from Amazon so you can read what it's about.

"The Blood of Lambs reveals the true inside story of the making and mind-set of a Muslim terrorist. Though his ties with terrorism were severed more than twenty years ago, it was not until 9/11, when radical Muslims rained terror on American shores, that Kamal Saleem stepped out of the shadows and revealed his true identity. Today, he is a different kind of warrior. He now stands on the wall and shouts to America, "Open your eyes and fight the danger that lives among you."As the terrible fruit of Kamal's early life in jihad screams from today's headlines, he courageously puts his life on the line to defend America, the country he now calls home.

Kamal Saleem (a pseudonym) was born into a large Sunni Muslim family in Lebanon. As a boy of seven fleeing a beating from teenage thugs in ethnically divided Beirut, Kamal took refuge in a mosque where he met radicals of the Muslim Brotherhood. Playing on the jihadist dreams instilled in Kamal by his mother, these imams took him to a terror training camp run by Yasser Arafat's Fatah faction.

Maturing into a terrorist's terrorist, Kamal's journey in jihad took him to countries such as Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Lebanon, and Iraq. Training terrorists from around the globe, he ruthlessly pursued Umma—one world under Islam—by any means necessary. But while infiltrating the United States, a tragic incident embroiled Kamal in a clash of cultures and forced him to reevaluate his understanding of truth and faith.

Kamal is now an American citizen and has embraced the Christian faith he once sought to destroy. He consults with federal law enforcement agencies and speaks on the dangers of radical Islam at venues across the country, including Stanford University, the University of California at Berkeley, and the U.S. Air Force Academy. Kamal lives with his American family in an undisclosed location somewhere in America. "

I highly recommend this book, all of America needs to read it!

Two Great Recipes... Pizza Casserole & Crockpot Barbecue

Hi All... I think most of my readers are moms and if you're like me, I get so tired of cooking the same old things (my family probably gets tired of it too)... So I thought I'd add a new category to my blog and start posting recipes when I find a really good one... If you have one you'd like to share, post it in the comments and I'll put it in a blog post in the near future.

With my trip to Africa just about 2 weeks away, I've been trying to plan and cook some freezer meals to leave for Scott, to make things a little easier for him. In the last 2 days, I've cooked two great ones... I just double the recipe, that way I have dinner for the evening and one to freeze. I think I'll keep this up, even after I come back from Africa. If you have any great freezer meals that you'd like to share this time, I'd be really appreciative (and so would Scott!)...

The first is for pizza casserole (I found this on www.allrecipes.com) This is so yummy, everyone LOVED it!

1 lb ground beef
15 oz jar of pizza sauce
1/2 pound cooked rotini pasta
3 cups shredded mozarella cheese (save 1 cup for topping)
1 package sliced pepperoni (cut the slices into quarters)
2 mediums onions, chopped (optional, I left this out since my kids don't like onions)
Minced garlic to taste (I added a heaping tablespoon... I mean HEAPING!)

Brown ground beef with garlic and onions
After ground beef is thoroughly browned, add all other ingredients and put into a casserole dish.
Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes... At about the 30 minute mark, add the additional cheese and finish cooking until melted.

If you freeze it, save the remaining cup of mozzarella until you're ready to cook it. Let it cool completely before freezing and to thaw it, put it in the frige overnight. You might have to set it out for a while to get it to thaw completely.


The second one that is so yummy is Crockpot Barbecue...

I used a whole pork loin cut into three sections so it would fit in the crockpot. Season with your favorite barbecue rub (ours is Stubbs), cover with water and cook on low all night and through the next day.

Rinse the pork, scrape off the fat and shred the pork. My kids love it dry, with no sauce, so I warm enough for their sandwiches in one pan and add barbecue sauce (again, Stubbs makes a great bbq sauce) for Scott and I, in another. We make pork sandwiches out of them.

Again, I doubled this recipe and froze about half of the shredded pork.

Next week I'm going to try lasagne manicotti... I'll let you know how it is!

What is it about the idea of grace?

What is it with some people and the idea of grace? One of the things that has amazed me about this process is all that God has taught me about grace. I parent with so much more grace than ever before and I am a better mother to our biological children because of Abby.

But when I say that to other people, or encourage them, with their adopted child, to parent with grace, I am almost inevitably met with, "But you have to set boundaries too." Or... "You can't have grace without discipline."

Why is it that people think that grace and boundaries or grace and discipline are mutually exclusive? From those responses, it would seem that people believe that if you are showing grace, you are not disciplining... That you are somehow letting the child "get away" with things that they shouldn't...

But if I look at the example of my Heavenly Father, His discipline is ALWAYS...100% of the time...WITHOUT fail...characterized by grace. Discipline and grace are NOT mutually exclusive...they are inextricably linked...or at least they should be...

Discipline should NEVER be administered without an abundance of grace. If God gave us what we deserve at any given moment, where would we be? I am so incredibly thankful that He doesn't feel the need to fix all that is wrong with me in a day, but that through His grace, He allows transformation to be a process...

This is a lesson that I have learned over and over this past year with Abby... I'm certain that people have thought that I let her "get away" with too much. But God has shown us clearly this year that for true change...for true obedience...a relationship is needed, so I've focused on building that relationship... not as her friend, but as her mother... Meeting her most basic needs time and time again... making sure that she is never hungry... being patient with so many little things because they were opportunities to build trust at the most basic level.

In many ways, even though she was 6 when we adopted her, Abby needed to be treated like a newborn for a time. She needed time to learn to trust us... Just because we had a piece of paper that said we were her parents, it didn't automatically make us her parents in her heart or mind, and we needed to respect her by respecting that...

As the adult, I expected the most basic degree of respect from her and there were certain boundaries that were not negotiable...but it has only been in the last few months that I have really been in the mode of teaching her what it means to respect me as her mother, with her attitude, her tone of voice, etc. And yet, that discipline (which by the way refers to consistent training, NOT punishment) has been applied with an abundance of grace...

And do you know, the walls are really coming down! If you were able to spend any time with us, you would see a really special relationship developing between the two of us. She comes to me for almost everything...even to untangle her Barbie's hair! She sits in bed with me if I'm sick, or just want to read... She comes looking for me when she can't find me... Tonight, my shoulder was hurting and she pinched and rubbed it with those precious little hands for over 1/2 an hour. I kept saying, "Abby, if you're hands are tired, it's ok to stop..." "I fine mommy!" And she is trusting me with her stories from China, like how she was afraid when the buildings would shake (the earthquake)... No one else gets to hear those stories...

Grace is reaping a hefty reward... Allowing her to grow into this relationship, not demanding that she treat me a certain way has been long and difficult at times...sometimes frustrating...even more times, heartbreaking... But to see where we are now is so worth it...

But if you're one of those who believe that grace and discipline are mutually exclusive, you may be thinking, "Well I bet that child is a terror..." Far from it... She is an utter joy! She is obedient... I rarely have to ask her to do anything more than once... A firm word easily corrects attitudes and actions and she is polite beyond description. It didn't happen overnight... but discipline...consistently and gently applied...with abundant grace and love has been the key.

When the walls of the levys in New Orleans came down...it wasn't the gale force winds of Katrina that did it... It was the constant pressure of the water against the walls... And that is what our love and grace can do for these precious children who have been through so much...it will, over time, bring down the walls of their hearts. I think the photos from the previous post really give you a picture of that...

Gotcha Day... One Year Ago Today!!

It's hard to believe that it has been one year since we met Abby... I will never forget that day and the days...weeks...months that followed. That one step of faith has blessed our lives in ways we never dreamed possible. Here is a summary of the year in pictures...

Meeting Abby... So sad, it was just heartbreaking...









First Smile... And what a beautiful smile it was!!



First Poundcake!!





First Bike (Thank you Mr and Mrs. G!!)



I just love this photo!!



First day of school...



Taking pictures at her first soccer game...



At the Apple Orchard...



First Lost Tooth...



Playing in the leaves...



First Gingerbread House...



First Christmas Morning...



"Baby Jesus Cold..."



Celebrating Our First Chinese New Year...



First Birthday Party...



First Reunion with Penny (her foster sister)



Photos In The Garden... (I'll post more of these on my photo blog)



Isn't she beautiful!

What an amazing year! She is such a blessing to our family and I'm so thankful that one year ago today, God moved mountains to bring her into our lives. Happy Gotcha Day Sweet Abby, I'm so glad you're a part of our Forever Family! We love you!!

A Tribute To Pocket T-Shirts

My uncle (my mom's brother) is definitely in the top 5 of the most amazing men I know... He is a godly man, with a servant's heart... He is generous... And full of grace. He and my aunt were like second parents to me growing up and their kids, my cousins are like my sisters and brother...this is the most special family to me... But my uncle has the funniest fettish for pockets...

For instance, he loves t-shirts with pockets on them. Our family loves to go to Orange Beach, in Alabama, and my uncle, an avid fisherman, loves to go to J & M Tackle, because their t-shirts have pockets on them.

So, a few weeks ago my mom went to the beach with my aunt and uncle, and she brought a pocket t-shirt back to Zack and Nick... We have never laughed so hard...

Here's their tribute to their uncle and his pocket t-shirts...

The Basic Nerd Look...



Nerd In A Gang...



Cool Nerd...



Super Nerd...



Buff Nerd...



Tough Nerd...



Erkel Nerd...



Cowboy Nerd...



The Thinker Nerds...



Go West Nerds...



Nerd Reunion (Nick's description!)



We love you Uncle S...!!

Art That Will Break Your Heart...

In my travels, I had the incredible blessing to go a little out of my way and stop by the Heart For Africa offices, the organization that I'm traveling to Africa with in a few weeks!!

In the offices are 2 murals that were done by the children at 2 of the children's homes that they work with in Kenya and Swaziland...

I asked permission to photograph them so I could show them to you and to people at home... They give you a glimpse into the lives of these children and all that they have lived through...

While my girls are painting butterflies and flowers, children on the opposite side of the world are painting this...

From Kenya...

In the top row, from left to right, you have a representation of life in the streets of Kenya... they live in shacks in the city...sewer runs in the streets...they had a celebration when Heart For Africa built them a long drop... basically a hole in the ground that is their toilet...

The second photo is clearly a funeral... Death surrounds them...notice the other 6 graves to the right...

The third photo is men with guns... I don't know all that these children have seen, but I know that in Kenya, violence is common... The children who live in the streets sniff a mixture of glue and gasoline, that is highly addictive, to escape the reality of their lives...

Below the picture of the shacks is a picture of the children's home... The children have faces...some are smiling...they are playing soccer...

Below the picture of death is a picture of a school... Education is their hope for a way out and one of the best defenses against AIDS...

And the third picture is of the children graduating... The top row is a picture of their desperation...their sadness...their fear...their hopelessness...the bottom row is a picture of life...of someone who cares...of hope...

In Swaziland, some of the children at one of the homes painted this... It was impossible to hold back the tears as I realized all that this represented... This was their life before the children's home...

The father leaves and goes with his girlfriend to the city... He comes home... The mother receives him back... They fight... The child crawls under the bed and then the doctor gives him a diagnosis of AIDS... He dies and then the mother has to scrounge through the garbage for food...

According to HFA's website, Swaziland has one of the highest rates of AIDS in the world... The population is 950,000... HIV/AIDS claims 42.6% of the population... There are over 70,000 orphans in Swaziland alone!!

When I went to Africa the first time, we drove past the city garbage dump... There were families all over it... They were eating and drinking things they found on the garbage dump... It was heart wrenching.

It is just not right that children are painting scenes of adultery... fighting... death... hopelessness and yet they paint them because they've lived them...

If you want to know more about Africa, I highly recommend Janine Maxwell's (she's the VP of HFA) book, It's Not Okay With Me, but be prepared, if you read her book, you might find yourself signing up to go... I did and what I found, wasn't ok with me either...

The Trek Of The Deer...

So, when I wrote about "How I'm Like A Goat," I also promised you a post about something I learned about deer... This was fascinating to me...

The last day we were there, R's husband, C, took me for a ride in their mule and this was one of the views...

Just stunning... The line of trees that you can see running in the picture, actually run along a beautiful river there, and C was telling me that for 100's of years, the deer have followed a trek that runs through that corner of the field. He said that they had found a lot of arrowheads back there, because that's where the Indians would hunt the deer. Makes sense, if the deer had been following the same trek for all those years, they would be an easy target for hunting.

Well, I was fascinated... "Does anything disrupt their following this trek?" I thought maybe building, tearing up the land, etc would cause them to go elsewhere, but C said, "No, that's why you will often see so many deer in neighborhoods." No matter what we do, they just keep following their trek...

So I said, "C, what will disrupt it then?" The entire herd would have to die out... It gets passed from generation to generation as the young follow the old in the same trek year after year... Amazing...

But it got me thinking... The same is so true for our children! Exodus 20:4-6 says, "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments."

Ugh... back to the whole idol thing again... When we worship modern day idols (back to the goat again) we're just like the deer, teaching our children to walk in the same paths that we walk in... That's one of the reasons why alcoholism runs in families... But when our children watch us seek satisfaction from everywhere else but God, they learn to do the same thing.

This is a portion of one of my all time favorite parenting quotes...

"A child's character is forming under a principle, not of choice, but of nurture. The spirit of the house is breathed into his nature, day by day.

The anger and gentleness, the fretfulness – and patience – the appetites, passions, and manners – all the variant moods of feeling exhibited around him, pass into him as impressions, and become seeds of character in him; not because the parents will, but because it must be so, whether they will it or not...

The spirit of the house is in the members of the children by nurture, not by teaching, not by any attempt to communicate the same, but because it is the air the children breathe."

In other words, it's the path they watch us walk, and follow with us, day after day after day... And just like the deer, it is almost impossible to disrupt that path and cause them to change course, once it's been ingrained in them...

That's why I said the other day, "It's alot easier to stay off of a path, than it is to get off of it, once you're already on it." We have to be so careful of the paths we step onto, because our children are following in our footsteps.

Amazing what you can learn from the habits of goat and deer...

Have a great week... The boys are off to youth camp and the girls are off to somewhere else in the south to visit family... Scott will be holding down the fort... just him and the dog! He'll probably enjoy some peace and quiet!!

But We Need...

So now that I'm over being mad at the rain (I followed Donna's suggestion and listened to my IPOD in my red taxi today!!) I'll tell you a quick story from the night before last...

I forget why we were so late getting ready for bed, but I sent the girls upstairs, finished whatever I was doing and was getting ready to go tuck them in when Abby peaks through the stair railings and says, "You coming upstairs? We need our hugs!" Yep, you read that right... Abby...the one who has resisted hugs since day 1 said, "We need our hugs!"

I smiled and said, "Oh really, you need your hugs?" To which she grinned and said, "I just kidding." No you weren't sweet one... In the moment, you let your guard down and gave me a glimpse of what's really growing in your heart!! Now that will hold me for a LONG time!!

Guess What?!

(Didn't she do an AWESOME job?!!! I LOVED working with Alexis... I so enjoy being able to express my creativity and Alexis was wonderful to let me play and design my own headers...

But after that, I didn't have a clue what to do. She had so many wonderful ideas, like the navigation bar, under the header... Linking my photoblog from the navigation bar and having it open in a separate window... And so much more... She knows her stuff!! And I'm doubly impressed...she's a beautiful teenager using her gifts and talents to raise money to go on mission trips and sponsor orphans!

I had the wonderful blessing of traveling with her family, when we adopted Abby, and then we got to visit with them last fall... If you're in need of some blog design services, please be sure to check with Alexis!)

I'm getting a new look... Well, my blog is anyway! At any moment you could stop by tonight and Alexis will have it all fixed up!! I loved my old look, but you know, when I came home from China last year, I was feeling very sentimental and emotional and what I wanted at the time was far more cutesy than I really am... Carla did a BEAUTIFUL job designing exactly what I asked her to...

But, now that all those new adoptive mom hormones have stopped raging, the season of sentimental is past... life is back to normal (I realize that's relative) and I've worked really hard with Alexis to design a blog that really looks like me!

Funny, it must be a season of change... We rearranged our family room this week and I LOVE it. What took us so long?

So, thank you to all of you who encouraged me to keep blogging! I really do love it!! One cool new feature was an idea from Trina, Alexis' mom... She suggested a photo blog, so when you click on the photography tab, on the newly designed blog, it will take you to a whole new blog for photography! There won't be much there yet, but I'm working on it!!

So thank you Alexis... You were WONDERFUL to work with... You did a GREAT job!!

How I'm Like A Goat!!

So, in my earlier post about our trip somewhere else, I showed you this picture of a goat...



And here's another...



This goat cracked me up... he kept sticking his head through the fence... It would get stuck, he would pull, twist, pull and struggle to get out...Finally he would get out and then put his head right back in again, just to start the process all over again... It was so funny! As you can see, it was quite the spectacle!



That evening, I mentioned to R's husband about the goat and how funny it was to watch him... And he told me that they do that a lot... They put their heads through the fence...sometimes they get themselves out... sometimes they have to wait for someone to come and help them and yet they do it over and over... And sometimes, they kill themselves trying to get out on their own...

And you know, it was one of those times when I was one step ahead of that still small voice... It's like when my kids say to me, "I know what you're going to say...." I knew what my Heavenly Father wanted to say to me... "Girl, you are so much like that goat!!"

Let's take Chicos for instance... Now for those of you who don't have a Chicos near you, it is my number 1 favorite clothing store!! I'm not even going to put a link to their website... if you want to find them, you'll have to google them yourself, I will not be directly responsible for causing someone else's addiction!

But, no matter how good my intentions are... No matter how much I've committed in my heart that I'm going to stick to a budget... When I walk through the doors of Chicos...all of those good intentions go right out the window... Jackets... Pants... Sweaters... they start calling my name... The colors...the styles... just eye candy! And I feel so good in their clothes (remember how good Michael Phelps mom always looked sitting in the stands of the Olympics, well, she shops at Chicos!)... No matter what size you are, you can find something that looks hot! (My son will die that I used that word in a blog!!)

And that's where I'm like the goat... I know better than to even darken their doors... I go in thinking, "I've got a few minutes, I'll just look around..." But like that goat, I get stuck... I walk out with things I shouldn't purchase... I wake up the next morning, full of regret that once again, I've proven how little self-discipline I really have and swear never to do it again... But like that goat, I always end up with my head stuck right back in that Chico's fence!!

But it could be anything... Food...things we shouldn't look at on tv... or the computer... maybe relationships... work... or even exercise. Maybe you have a different favorite store... one that sells shoes... or furniture... or home accessories... But we can turn them all into modern day idols! And here's the really sad thing, they are all just distractions from what our heart's really need...

I'm not saying that all of these are bad...that you should never shop...or exercise...or watch tv... I'm just saying we have to guard our hearts and be sure that we aren't using them to fill a place in our hearts that only God Himself can fill... Or, that we aren't using them as an escape...

Cause here's the thing... When I get caught up in my modern day idols, I lose my taste for God... Kind of like, when you eat too much junk food... fruit and vegetables taste terrible... That's what modern day idols do for our relationship with God!

I am reading the best book, "No Other Gods," by Kelly Minter. I LOVE the way this girl writes... She gets right to the heart of the matter... And I have been so convicted! I know that's why this goat so grabbed my attention...

The fence to the goat is my idols to me... The things that entrap and enslave me... the things that I extricate myself from, swearing I'll never do again... Only to find myself with my heart, stuck right back in the same fence!

Jesus died to set us free... But am I living in that freedom? Not when my heart is stuck in some other fence... It pains me to say this, but when I keep putting my heart back through the same fence, I am acting as if the cross has no power... And that breaks my heart, because I know better than that!

So, this goat needs to invite the Holy Spirit to tear down some of those fences that keep entrapping my heart... I clearly can't do it on my own!!

(Stay tuned...in a few days, I'll tell you what C. taught me about the deer!! Bet you can't wait!!)

Have a great... fence free day!!

Auction To Help Adopting Family...

My cousin Stefanie, who is an mom and seamstress, is doing an auction for one of her beautiful creations, a darling dress, to help a family who is chasing after God's own heart by adopting their 3rd special needs child...

Click here... Stitching to China to see her auction and read about the family who is headed back to China...

What just really touches my heart, Stef and her family are in the midst of their 2nd special needs adoption, they are DTC and waiting for a referral... She created Stitching to China to help finance their adoption... She is a beautiful picture of what it means to be the church!

Please pass the word along...

A Rollercoaster of Emotions...

So here's the thing... thousands of years ago, God created this amazing world... But sadly, we blew it... We chose our own way over His and frankly, He owed us NOTHING... Anything He did from that point on, that moment of choice in the Garden of Eden, was just an act of sheer mercy! We don't deserve anything good, but thankfully, He chooses to bless us with good anyway... Jesus... and answered prayer...

Today, I have been overwhelmed with His goodness... First, I got news that my new cousin, born on June 30, was scheduled to go home from the hospital... I haven't heard the final word yet, but she is out of NICU and doing better... prayers have been answered...

A bloggy friend is making her 18 hour drive home, with her sweet husband... It's been a scary few days with him in the hospital...

And Scott will think I'm making too big of a deal out of this, but he knows that I tend to under-react to situations...

On the day that Nick broke his collarbone (he's doing great by the way), Scott was playing softball. He slid into base and really tore up the side of his leg... It looked like your typical strawberry kind of injury, but it got infected... It was really nasty... It had boils on it, YUK! Thursday night he spiked a really high fever and woke up with knee and ankle pain... The doctor started him on antibiotics (for him to go to the doctor, it's bad...) and he was instructed to watch it really closely and head straight for the ER if anything changed... We probably should have gone yesterday...

Yesterday morning it looked better, but by the afternoon, it didn't look so good again... Last night in the middle of the night, he woke up with a terrible headache... I was really worried. But this morning, you could see a NOTICEABLE improvement!! Needless to say, I didn't sleep much... But again, God in His mercy, saw fit to provide His healing power and we sent to see
'Up' instead (What a GREAT movie)...

So where's the rollercoaster? It's Abby... My head knows she's making tremendous progress...

She seeks me out...she asks me everything...she draws and colors the most BEAUTIFUL pictures for me and they almost always say, "I love you..." But my mommy's heart is really struggling...

In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a hugger... Nothing can make the world right faster, than a good hug... A few weeks ago, I was scheduled to speak at our women's summer event at church...I hugged Scott good-bye as I was leaving, and it so calmed my heart, so I asked him, "Do you think they would think it was odd if you went with me and I spoke to them over your shoulder as I hugged you?" That's the power of a hug for me! (By the way, I didn't take him with me and I was fine... God was more than sufficient and I had a blast!)

But you get the idea, hugs are crucial for me...I'm just an affectionate person. So Abby's refusal to be affectionate is really hard and as I grow to love her more and more, it's becoming harder and harder. For the last few weeks, my arms have physically ached to just scoop her up in my arms and hold her...

I respect her space and settle for my bedtime hugs, but today was so hard... She didn't really like our traditional 4th of July dinner... Scott's homemade ribs (AWESOME) and fresh corn... from there...she just kept telling me how fireworks in China were so much better... Later, as we were watching tv, I asked her if I could sit with her, the response I got, "I don't care." I decided to just stay put...

But a little while later, she invited me to sit with her and my heart soared...the emotions...up and down and up again...

I know, you may be thinking, "Why do you give her so much control?" Fair question... But I've learned from observing my Heavenly Father, He doesn't force Himself onto us...and I'm not going to force myself onto Abby.

I have so much to give her... She is missing so much, but until she sees that for herself, it won't mean a thing to her. I try to give her a taste of it from time to time, but I will not force it on her...

And it really makes me think about me and my Abba Father...

It pierces my heart to offer Abby myself, and have it rejected over and over... To know that she is missing out on so much, because she refuses to let down the walls of her heart... And I am just like her...

I've written about this before, but it is fresh in my mind as I'm reading a book called "No Other gods..." by Kelly Minter... China for Abby is Egypt for the Israelites... is idols... shopping, food, whatever...for me... In so many ways, I keep looking at God and telling Him, "China was better..." Maybe not with my words, but definitely with my actions...

I am so thankful for His incredible mercy, demonstrated in so many wonderful answers to prayer, but my heart is broken as I continue to see, so clearly, through Abby, how I choose everything else over Him...

"Clandestine Hip Shot..." Candids from Road Trip

So I said in my last post that I had learned a new technique for taking photos. I stumbled across this blog post, from a safari photographer, Roger Moore (his work is beautiful!)... He calls it the "Clandestine Hip Shot"...

I've always wondered how to get really great people shots of strangers, without being obnoxious and intrusive, or how to not spoil the moment with kids by pulling my camera to my face... this is the answer and I LOVE the look of them (I realize that may be personal preference), but they have movement and interest, more photojournalistic in their look... And it gives you a whole different perspective...

I also ordered his camera strap and made an adjustment to it, so it would feel more secure, if you're interested, just leave me a comment and I'll tell you what I did... But it will be the all-time strap for my camera... Much more flexibility and so much easier to use and carry my camera...

So here are the candids that I got using the "Clandestine Hip Shot"... I then had a lot of fun post-processing them in Lightroom 2... What an AWESOME program, I'm totally HOOKED!! I need to practice some more, some of them aren't focused like I'd like... I shot in aperture priority, so I think I need to increase my aperture setting so more of the picture is sharper...











For these next two, I reached my camera across the fence... It's amazing what you can get when you learn to see what the camera sees... (I have a lot to learn!!)





Back to the hip shots...

















I'm sorry this one didn't turn out better, but I love the feel of it... It would have been my favorite if it had been sharper... Oh well, still learning...



A few more...







This last photo was from a baseball game when Abby was hot and tired and did not want me taking her photo...



So you can crop these in...leave them at the wide angle, you could even them straighten them out, but I really love this new technique... I think it will be great for Africa...