Summer Challenge For Our Family...

Our family has decided to take on a summer challenge... Each week, we are going to memorize a verse of Scripture as a family. But it's about more than just committing words to memory. The challenge is to really think about the verse throughout the week and see how it impacts our lives. At the end of each week, over dinner, we are going to discuss it as a family.

We just finished our first week... Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for men."

I loved meditating on this verse this past week...

Whatever you do... The word 'do' carries the idea of spending time, so you might say, "However you spend your time"... Laundry, driving our family taxi service, cooking dinner, cleaning out the dishwasher...

Work at it with ALL your heart... Perform it, accomplish it, achieve it, with all your heart... The heart in the Greek encompassed the inward life... The heart, the mind, the emotions, your very soul and life...

That's pretty overwhelming to think about. So much of what we do in life seems so trivial, routine and mundane, and yet, I'm supposed to pour my very life into everything I do. So much of what I do feels like a mindless task, but what occurs to me from this verse is that I need to be present in the moment and really live out each task I do...

And the word 'work' is about accomplishing or achieving something...  I can honestly say that I've never seen laundry as an accomplishment or something I've achieved, but what if I worked at it with all my heart...  what if I poured my heart into it as much as I do when I think I'm doing something important, perhaps then it would become a whole different experience.

As working for the Lord...  Another facet of the word 'work' is expending energy.  As a mom and a wife, I expend alot of energy during the day that leaves me tired, sometimes cranky and often depleted.  But what if, with a simple change of perspective, my daily tasks could become tasks that bring me joy and fulfillment? What if each and every one became an act of worship and an overflow of my love for God? What if I saw each task as a way to reflect the very nature of God? 

For example, what if I began to see cleaning house as a means to reflect the order of His nature...  Or laundry as a reminder of His righteousness (thinking of the saints in their white robes of righteousness)...  Or cooking healthy meals as a reminder that my body is the temple of God and I need to take care of it...  All of a sudden, routine tasks become  part of something much bigger...

And not for men...  Everything we do should be for His pleasure, because we love Him and long to obey Him.  Yes, I love my family and want to serve them, but ultimately, it will be my love and gratitude for all that God has done for me that will keep me going when I just don't feel like it. 

I think I'm going to like this summer challenge very much...  As the kids get the knack of meditating on Scripture, I will (with their permission) share some of their insights also.

For the new week, our verse is Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."  Easy to memorize, but much to think about!

Sweet Security...

So first, it's been so good to hear from some of you! I feel like I'm catching up with old friends!! I didn't mean to drop off the planet, but the last couple of months of teaching Revelation was so hard, it consumed my time and thoughts.

I'll tell you more in another post, but this was my last year as Teaching Director for our CBS class. After my trip to Africa in November, I clearly sensed God leading me in a different direction, so I finished the year, but starting in the fall, I will be on to new things! I'm really excited, but as I said, I'll save that for another post!!

I just wanted to take a minute and share something else about Abby that has been really obvious the last few days...

Abby has a tendency sometimes to get overly excited about something and she tries to take control of some situations. It's almost like she forgets she's 8 and tries to tell me what to do. I don't think it's malicious or disrespectful, because it's always at times when she's either excited or trying to be helpful.

But sometimes when I'm tired, or focused on getting something done, I respond a little more sharply than I should and that happened twice yesterday. The minute the words were out of my mouth, I cringed because my tone sounded harsh and for some reason I'm so afraid of that feeling like rejection to her.

So each time yesterday I waited to see how she would respond. I didn't really do anything to warrant an apology, but I was willing to step in if I needed to reassure her. I think I really expected her to withdraw from me...

But I was blown away by how she handled it... Both times, it was almost like she took a minute to reconsider her approach and then jumped right back into the situation, handling it in an appropriate way. She seemed to understand that she had gone too far and was willing to take my response as correction, but not as rejection.

As I thought about that last night, I realized how far we've come! Abby is so secure now! She knows I'm her mommy... She seems to understand, with all of her heart, that I love her and she is finally letting that love penetrate her heart.

But you know, it's occurred to me more than once during this journey, that like Abby, I have a hard time receiving love from others, especially God's love. His love is so great and so undeserved that sometimes I think I just don't allow the magnitude of it to penetrate my heart and soul. But wow, when I take some time to soak in it, life just looks different!

I am so thankful that Abby is finding her security with us... That she really gets that we love her unconditionally... And I pray that God will use our love to teach her what His love is like, because our love for her is just a taste of His lavish and abundant love...

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

Finally Back...

I guess it seems like I just completely dropped out of the blog world, and I guess I did, but WOW, it's been a crazy couple of months...

There's so much I want to update you on (if I still have any readers), but I'll do that over the next week or so, today I just wanted to tell you about Abby...

Before I do that though, one sweet bloggy friend sent me a note during my absence and I just wanted to say thank you K... You were a real encouragement!

So, about Abby... We have a new neighbor! They're a sweet family and their 5 year old daughter (I'll call her 'M') has really latched on to Abby. They play great together and she's over at our house most days.

It's been interesting though to watch Abby in this new situation. Abby can really hold her own with her older siblings, but for some reason, she has a harder time with miss 'M'...

'M' is not shy at all and when she's over, she goes and gets whatever she wants to play with (I'm totally fine with that, I like for the kids on our street to feel at home here, within reason) but sometimes she gets something that is really special to Abby, specifically her little Asian baby doll that we gave her when she first came home.

Abby has such a tender, generous heart that even though she doesn't want to share this one special doll, she finds it hard to tell her no.

The first time it happened, little 'M' wanted to take her doll outside. I could watch the conflict play across Abby's face and I quickly intervened and told 'M' that her special doll needed to stay in the house.

Abby was visibly relieved and I was rewarded with a grateful smile (the kind that will warm any mom's heart!)!!

A few days later, they were playing inside and 'M' wanted to play with Abby's special doll, which Abby had been playing with... Now, I am a HUGE advocate of teaching our children to share, but I also believe that they're entitled to have some things that are special to them. Especially since Abby probably had her first 6 years of not being able to claim anything as her own, I feel very strongly that she should have a few things that are just hers...

Well, as this conflict started to play out, Abby immediately looked up at me, with a 'what do I do now?' look... I quickly jumped in and explained to 'M' that this was Abby's special doll and one that she only had to share if she wanted to... 'M' was very sweet and said 'Oh, I didn't know that.' and was quite content to play with the other dolls.

Once again, my heart just overflowed... I loved that Abby's trust has grown so much that she knows she can look to me to help her and it's her first instinct to do so...

And as usual, that got me thinking! That's EXACTLY what our Abba Father wants from us! Today, I had to go and get my new prescription for my glasses. As the lady was writing up my order, she started to tell me how her relationship had just ended and how hard it had been. Turns out she has been divorced twice and had been in this relationship for 5 1/2 years.

I didn't have a clue what to say and immediately I said a little prayer, "Lord, what do I say?" But it seemed that I was just supposed to listen and tell her how sorry I was...

But after I realized that I had just done the same thing that Abby did with me...

I looked to my Abba Father for help. I've uttered those little prayers of help a thousand times, and every time my Abba Father comes through for me... Sometimes He gives me words, sometimes a heart to listen, but when I look to Him, I ALWAYS have peace that I handled it in the way I was supposed to... Over the years, my trust has grown and now it's a natural response for me to look to Him with a "what do I do now?" look in the eyes of my heart.

And I have to think that it pleases Him as much, if not even more, as it did when Abby trusted me to help her.

What an awesome God we love!!

(P.S. It's good to be back...)

But God...

So one of the hardest parts of older child adoption, for us, has been trying to teach Abby about God and Jesus...

It's different when you're raised hearing about Him all of your life... Faith just seems to come easier. But Abby has had so many questions... Good questions... Questions that have caused me to examine my faith and to learn to speak the language of a child...

But there have been times when I've been so frustrated, wondering if she will ever have faith... She would giggle when we prayed... Act bored when we read the Bible... BUT tonight, she blew me away...

Mackenzie has a lizzard and as we were putting Abby to bed, she said, "Mommy, that lizzard thinks he's the king." I responded, "Well Abby, he is the king of his home."

And Abby said, "Really mommy? But God is King!"

Faith, like attachment, is a process... God is clearly bigger than her past... He is truly the God of the impossible!

Pour Out Your Heart

Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."

I love that verse and while I really get that with my head and even try to practice it, God made it so real to my heart tonight...

It was a crazy evening of storms... Tornadoes were touching down within miles of us, hail, green skies...it was crazy! As the evening wore on, there was one last cell that came through that was really scary...

We had our plan, we knew who was going to which closet and bathroom, pillows and blankets were ready and waiting, we were just all sitting in the family room together waiting in case Scott told us to move quickly...

As we waited, Abby came and crawled up in the chair with me... It's a big chair so she wasn't sitting right up next to me, so I put my arm on the back of the chair, kind of opening myself up to her, but not forcing my comfort on her... I just wanted her to know I was available if she decided she needed me.

As the storm rolled in, the winds picked up, the hail came down and the news channels began to warn of the perfect tornado conditions, Abby finally looked up at me and said very hesitantly, "Mommy, I'm scared."

That was all the invitation I needed, I pulled her in close and whispered that everything would be ok... I couldn't stop the storm, but I would do everything in my power to protect her...

Thankfully, the storm passed without a tornado but those few minutes gave me so much to think about...

I have longed for Abby to trust me... I know she's tested me over the last 18 months and I think she has found me trustworthy... First I earned her trust by providing for her most basic needs...then she allowed me to care for her skinned knees and elbows...next she trusted me with her stories of China...but tonight, she trusted me with her fears...perhaps the things that make us the most vulnerable...

My heart could have just danced when she looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I'm scared." And yet, that's the very thing our heavenly Father wants from us... He longs for us to find refuge in the shelter of His wings...for us to be vulnerable with Him and trust Him with our greatest fears (and everything else)!!

He will never force His comfort on us, yet He is always waiting, if we will just trust Him... What a blessing and privilege to call Him Abba Father!

Even 18 Months Later, We're Still Experiencing Firsts!!

So on July 21, Abby will have been with us for 2 years. If you've been following long, you might remember that for the entire first year, she didn't want much to do with me. Oh, she let me meet her basic needs, but she just couldn't seem to let herself really receive my love. It was hard, but trying to follow the example of my Heavenly Father, I didn't force things and let her work it out in her own time.

I tried to let her know that I was always there, I would offer her hugs and affection, but if she pushed me away, I let her be.

But when I went to Africa last August, something changed... It's like she finally started to get that even though I go away, I'm always coming back. From that point on, she begin to let me in more and more.

One of the hardest things for me, that first year, was that she didn't like me hugging her... A kiss on the head was absolutely forbidden... Rubbing her back was met with squirming and pushing me away. For a time, I honestly wondered if anything would ever change.

But it did... After Africa, she began to invite me to sit with her, more and more. She started to hug back, instead of feeling like she was doing her duty. And more and more, I could sneak a kiss on the top of her head and she wouldn't fuss at me.

A couple of weeks ago, Scott and I went away for our 20th anniversary and when we returned, she ran out to the garage and threw her arms around me, even trying to push Mackenzie out of the way. I realize I can't let that always happen, but that one time, that first time, I just ended up making a game out of a group hug.

But Saturday night was the moment I had been waiting for... We were staying in a hotel for a soccer tournament. Scott and I were with the girls in one room and the boys were next door. We all got snuggled into our beds and read for a while. But then the girls were ready to go to sleep... And Abby started to ask for something, but I couldn't understand what she was saying... On the third try, she opened her arms and said, "What about a hug?"!! Talk about making a heart overflow...

And then last night, she said, "I love you" first! WOW!! She has grown into the happiest, most loving child. It's amazing what love, patience, grace and security can do for a child (for an adult too!)...

What an amazing journey!

Thoughts About Being A Bride!

This post is probably not what you would expect based on the title...  But this week in Community Bible Study, I taught on Revelation 19:1-10.  While the passages often move me, this one touched me somewhere deep in my soul...

In Revelation 19, particularly verses 6-10, John shares his vision of the wedding feast of the Lamb...  Jesus, our Bridegroom...  what a mind boggling thought!

Let me take you back to the beginning for a minute…the beginning of time that is!  God created the heavens and the earth and then He created man and woman and gave us stewardship over His MAGNIFICENT creation!  Many times I’ve heard people allude to an idea that somehow God needed us to be complete…

But that’s crazy!  God was perfectly complete within the relationship of the Trinity…  My thinking is that the love they shared was so incredible that it just couldn’t be contained, so it overflowed and what was birthed was creation.

Sadly though, man was not content with what God was providing and he believed the lies of the enemy, that God was withholding something good and he disobeyed him, becoming his enemy, because he loved and worshiped something more than his Creator.

But God wasn’t surprised and He had a plan…  Thousands of years later, God sent His Son Jesus, from heaven, the most glorious place we could imagine, to a stable…  a home for animals…  I don’t know about you, but that would break my heart to have to do that to one of my children.  Thank goodness God isn’t like me!

But it got worse, this thankless world hung His beloved Son on a cross… talk about rejection!  But death didn’t win and Jesus is now in heaven, ruling and reigning AND…  He’s preparing a place for His Bride!  Anyone who has put their faith in Him as their Savior!

But consider this…  throughout Scripture, God uses the metaphor of a prostitute, an adulterer, a swift she camel, a harlot, to describe those who are unfaithful to Him and worship idols…  Well, that would be all of us, if we have not been cleansed by the blood of Jesus!

So let me ask you…  Would you CHOOSE the equivalent of a prostitute for your son?  God DID!!  Romans 5:8 says, “God demonstrates His love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  In other words, while we were still spiritual prostitutes, adulterers, harlots…  Christ died for us!  And not only did He die for us, He longs to wed us (In a spiritual sense, of course!)  That is mind boggling to me!!

So it got me thinking…  When Scott and I were first engaged, he was in a training program for his new job.  He had to travel all over the country and we would go weeks without seeing each other.  I could hardly stand it… I thought of him constantly…  I talked about him to anyone who would listen…  I talked to him on the phone and sent him letters, all the time…  I planned the wedding and I prepared myself, shopping for the most beautiful dress…  Making sure I had the perfect hair style…  Dieting and exercising so that my figure and my outward appearance would be the best that it could be…

But then I had to ask myself…  Am I waiting as eagerly and preparing as diligently for the return of my Heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus?

Am I consumed by thoughts of Him?  Do I talk about Him at every opportunity?  Do I talk to Him as often as I can?  Am I working to prepare my heart, my inward appearance, with the same commitment as I prepared my outward appearance for my earthly bridegroom?

It’s absolutely stunning to me that God…  Perfectly holy and righteous, sovereign Creator of the Universe… would choose us, believers, saved by His grace, to wed His beloved Son!!

Amazing love…  Amazing grace!!