The Best Christmas Present... Maybe Ever!

So I wish I had a picture to show you... I wish I could take the image that is forever burned on my heart but it was one of those moments when I was afraid to move to get the camera...  I was afraid to breathe...  For fear that I would somehow disrupt the gift that was occurring right before my eyes...

Every year on Christmas Eve, Scott reads the Christmas story from Luke 2...  We talk about what Jesus did for us, and each year as the kids get older, we challenge them more and more to think about why Jesus left the glory of heaven...the infiniteness of living in the Spirit... and confine Himself to space and time and flesh.

Abby really struggles when we get into conversations that she doesn't understand...  I think it probably disrupts her sense of belonging and that's understandable, but it's that balance of nurturing our older children and having grace for her circumstances that can be so difficult.

I guess after sitting still for over an hour during our Christmas Eve service (which was OUTSTANDING as usual) and then being asked to sit still again as Scott read the story of Jesus' birth, was just too much.  She pulled her hood over her head and refused to listen.

Now she was sitting where I couldn't see her, so Scott and I had no idea what was going on...  But it really upset my grandmother, who is 97 years old.  After Scott finished, I heard her say to my mom, "Why did Abby cover her head?  I would not allow her to do that."  At first I felt a little defensive, 'well, neither would I if I had had any idea it was happening..."  But I sat quietly and started to watch as these events unfolded...

My grandmother called her over to her...  Abby was reluctant at first but she went to her and let Mama H. pull her close.  I kind of held my breath because my grandmother really doesn't understand the nuances of dealing with an adopted older child, but it turned out to be one of the most Spirit filled moments I've ever experienced...  She demonstrated more grace and understanding than I ever would have mustered...

Very gently, my grandmother asked her why she had covered her head and refused to listen.  Of course, Abby didn't have an answer...  So Mama H. began to explain what Jesus did for us.  "Abby, Jesus died on the cross for our sins.  We're all sinners, even children and He died to save us.  So we need to listen to the story of His birth."

She talked to her about how Jesus loved her and she said, "I know you love Him too because He died for me and for you."  And then she said, "Abby, when Pop (that was my grandfather who passed away...but she was really talking about Scott)...  when Pop reads the Christmas story next time, you'll listen right?"  Abby nodded her head and Mama H. pulled her close into a hug and said, "I knew you would, you're such a sweet girl and I love you."

It's funny, in all these years, I've never heard my grandmother so passionate about Jesus and what He did for us...  I've heard her share her testimony...  I have no doubt about who her heart belongs to, but as the generations before us often are, she has always been a little more private about her faith.

But tonight took my breath away...  She was upset that Abby showed such disrespect for the story of Jesus' birth...  Yet, she showed such grace and love as she shared her faith with her...  As I sat and watched in utter awe and wonder...  as I considered how there was no doubt that this was a God ordained moment, led by the Spirit... I thought, "It would not surprise me in the least if someday, maybe in 2 years...maybe in 20...  Abby remembers how her 97 year old grandmother shared the gospel with her and planted a seed in her heart that took root in a great love for Him."

No matter what earthly gifts lay under the tree for tomorrow...  God has already unwrapped the greatest Christmas present... Maybe ever (except of course for the birth of His Son...)  It's 12 A.M. right now... Merry CHRISTmas!

A Second First Christmas...

So technically, Abby had her first Christmas with us last year.  But she'd only been home  4 months, her English wasn't great and it was just really hard to explain the whole idea of Christmas...  Everything seemed new and overwhelming...  

BUT this year has been a whole different story...  She has a whole memory of new (to her) traditions created last year and she has had so much fun...  She LOVED going to the mountains to cut the Christmas tree...  She couldn't wait to decorate it...  When we put the manger scene out, she remembered exactly where she had put baby Jesus' blanket that my friend had made for her when she heard how Abby was upset last Christmas that baby Jesus was cold and covered him with a piece of cotton...

And we have baked and baked and baked and baked...  Well, you get the idea!!  And she is so excited about the presents under the tree!!  This morning she came in the kitchen and said, "Mommy, I love Christmas, I am so excited!"

"Abby, why are you so excited?" 

"Because we get to open presents tomorrow..." 

"Well, what about baby Jesus?  It's His birthday afterall, and He's the only reason that we get to celebrate Christmas..."

"Mommy?  Is He excited too then?"

I had to stifle a giggle with that one...  We talk about Jesus all the time...  We pray...  She still clearly doesn't get the significance of Jesus, but I love how she thinks of Him...  She doesn't question His realness, she just doesn't understand yet what He did for her...

I told her that Jesus was very excited when we remember to celebrate His birthday and not just think about the presents...

And then her question that once again stumped me (there's been several of them over the last year)...

"Mommy, when is God's birthday?"

How do you explain to a 7 year old... who heard about God and Jesus for the very first time, just 17 months ago...  who has great social language, but is still struggling with taking thoughts and ideas and processing them on a deeper level...  and explain to her that God is not a created being?  That He has existed for all time?  That He doesn't have a birthday?  He just is?  Those thoughts blow my mind and so much of it, I just accept on faith because I see evidence of God and His love for us EVERYWHERE...  But I have no clue how to explain that to Abby...

The God we love is truly mind boggling...  He is so BIG...so HOLY...so GLORIOUS...so AWESOME...  And yet, He loved us so much that over 2000 years ago He sent His beloved Son into this world, born in a smelly manger, for the sole purpose of dying the most horrible death imaginable so that we could be in relationship with Him...

Now that kind of love blows my mind even more than the fact that God doesn't have a birthday...  I pray that someday Abby will look at me with the same wonder over what Jesus did for her on a cross as she did when I tried to explain to her that God has existed for all time...

May we all remember David's beautiful words from Psalm 8:3-4...

"When I consider your heavens,
       the work of your fingers,
       the moon and the stars,
       which you have set in place,
  what is man that you are mindful of him,
       the son of man that you care for him?"

Merry Christmas...  I pray that as you remember the birth of our Savior, you are overwhelmed by His love for you...

Interaction or Transaction?

Hi...  It's been so long since I've blogged...  And it's been even longer since I've written about adoption.  I don't know what it is about this time of year, but I just get blog weary.  I don't want anything to do with my blog...  I don't read other blogs...  I guess I just have to take a break, but there's just been so much percolating in my heart and mind these last few days that it finally just needed to be poured out here...

I learned an important lesson at dinner the other night...


We had taken our family to dinner with our good friends and Abby was having a MAJOR attitude issue...  She was pouting...  she refused to order any thing to drink and she wouldn't answer her daddy when he tried to find out what she wanted to eat...

That really rubbed me the wrong way and I proceeded to tell her (I hate to admit this, but not in my nicest voice ever) that if she persisted with that attitude and refused to eat, she would just have to go to bed hungry...  Yes, I was being a jerk...  Thankfully though, the Spirit in my heart did one of those quiet, gentle, but unmistakable nudges and I decided to explore this attitude a little...

I pulled her over to the side, to an empty chair, pulled her close and started questioning her about her attitude...  She was tired (she had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant) and she looked up at me with BIG puddles of tears in her eyes and said, "Mommy, I'm just tired and I don't want to eat...  Do I HAVE to eat?"

I hugged her close, assured her that she didn't have to eat anything she didn't want and compromised by ordering her noodles and water...  She cried for a few more minutes and then everything was fine...  And before we knew it, she was sampling off everyone else's plates, which was fine because there was WAY too much food!

I think it's good that she is so much a part of our family, that we treat her like our biological kids...  But the fact is, she has come from a completely different place...  A place that requires an extra measure of grace...  An extra dose of patience and an abundance of understanding...  And yet, it's a lesson that is beneficial to every relationship...  I need to slow down and find out what's really going on in people's lives...  I need to interact with them, not just transact with them...

So what do I mean by that?  It's a lesson I've learned from Africa...  In Africa, business transactions are first and foremost about the relationship and then about the business.  There's this little gift shop that I love to go in at the hotel we stay in.  Too many times, I've run in there with too little time to find something to take home.  And too often the ladies who work there have seemed offended because they tried to make conversation and I was too focused on completing my transaction to be concerned with my interaction with them...

When I went in November, I made a concious effort to do something different...  This time I went in and before I started looking around, I took the time to talk to them and be interested in their lives...  I took the time to SEE them as people...  Not as just a means to an end.

Well, the incident with Abby at dinner made me realize how often I do that with people in my life...  I have a task to get accomplished, too little time and the person becomes a transaction rather than an interaction...  With Abby at dinner, I wanted to get her dinner ordered... task accomplished...so that we could carry on our conversation with our friends and the kids would talk among themselves.

But Abby needed interaction...  She needed me to really see her and take the time to explore what was going on in heart...  She wasn't a task to be taken care of, she was a precious 7 year old who just needed her mommy to hear her concerns... to be hugged while she cried a few tears and then life could go on...  We were all rewarded with lots of smiles and laughter.

During these last few busy days before Christmas...  may we all remember that God created us to interact... not to transact...  Take time to see and be interested in the person who rings up your groceries...  The man or woman ringing the bell at the kettle...  the person helping you with your Christmas purchases...  Most of all your children, family and friends. 

Have a WONDERFUL MERRY Christmas...

Sandwiched Between Suburbias...

Sandwiched between the suburbias surrounding most cities, is a world that most of don't realize even exists...  Or maybe if we were honest with ourselves, we'd have to admit that common sense tells us it's there, we just never choose to think about it...

In suburbia, our kids get 3 meals a day... working moms can afford to hire sitters or send their kids to day care...  children come to Book Fairs with money to buy books and trinkets...  for the most part, parents are involved in their children's lives...  they help them with their homework...  children play outside and the idea of a drive by shooting is something that happens in movies...

Frankly, most of us who live in the suburbs really have no clue...  I don't know, maybe I've just lived most of my life intensely self-centered and blind to those around me, and no one else is like me, but somehow I don't think so.  If we really knew what life was like for the children sandwiched between the suburbias, would we really keep sticking our heads in the sand?

Sorry, I guess this post is sounding a little angry, but I'm just angry with myself...  Today, I went and volunteered at a low income school in our city and once again, God opened my eyes to a world that is so different than the one I live in every day.

Even though I had just been to Africa, even to the garbage dump, I am still so incredibly naive and it's because I don't take time to think about and learn about a world... a life that's not like mine...  Intellectually I know it's there, but if I understand the reality of it, then I become responsible to do something.  Certainly not to fix it, but definitely not to just sit idly by and do nothing.

I just finished reading a book called "God in the Alley", by Greg Paul (I HIGHLY recommend it) and now I'm reading his second book, "The Twenty Piece Shuffle."  After I came home today, here's what I read, "...there are more than 2,000 references in more than 400 different passages of Scripture that speak of God's passion for the poor...  Biblical writers use more than 40 different words to describe conditions of poverty."

That's staggering to me...  I've always heard that money is the most talked about subject in the Bible, but I really have to wonder if that's accurate...

Mr. Paul draws the obvious conclusion, "Poor people have a critical place at the very heart of God's relationship with humanity."

I've been reading the book of Amos and I've been so struck at how this can apply to America...especially the church in America...  Amos prophesied at a time of great prosperity in Israel, they lived on estates, had luxurious beds, indulged themselves in their pleasures, but they ignored and oppressed the poor and afflicted and God was warning them of impending judgment.

God cares that we aren't caring for those in distress...  Yes, we've adopted and many of you have too and I know that God is pleased...  But one, or two or ten acts of obedience that reflect the heart of God do not constitute a life of obedience.

It has to be day by day... God's heart for the poor has to be reflected in the very way we live our lives...spend our money...use our time and our gifts...

God may not call me to a specific act of caring for someone in distress today, but He might be calling me to save the $20 I'm about to spend on something I, or my kids don't need, so it will be there when He does call me to care for someone in distress.

Or maybe He's asking me to give up lunch with a friend and go and mentor a child who doesn't have anyone in their life to love them...  There's a million different decisions that we make everyday that either reflect His heart for the poor, or our own desire to please ourselves...

I need... I want... to learn more about the world between the suburbias...  I long for my heart to look more like His.

A Christmas Challenge...

I have a Christmas challenge...  Naomi, one of my blog friends, read the story of my trip to the garbage dump to her children and they have decided to give up one of their Christmas presents and give the money to Heart For Africa to send a child to Litsemba, an event that will bring hope to the children in Swaziland and create awareness in the country about the growing orphan population...  You can read her post here...

Her children totally inspired me...  Every year we do stockings for our kids and they've agreed to give up their stockings so we can give the money to Heart For Africa...

So tonight we went Christmas Shopping on the HFA website...  I can't tell you how much fun it was, it was truly a blessing.  We read the different descriptions and each family member got to have a say in the "gifts" we gave...  

So let's start a movement...  Most of us are so blessed...  What if we each just gave up one Christmas present and gave it to the children in Swaziland?  

Let's say your average Christmas present is around $25...  Isn't there just one thing you would be willing to give up so that children who are eating rotten bananas might have hope?  If 100 people gave up one present, that would be $2500...  Or what if 100 families gave up 4 presents, one per person, that would be $10,000...

  

It's so simple...  Give up one gift and give hope...  Make a statement to the world that says, "This is not okay with me!"

Heart For Africa has a gift catalog of ways you can donate...  You could even let your children choose where they would like their present  to go...  Click here to go their catalog...

If you're willing to participate, would you leave me a comment?  I moderate my comments, so I won't post it if you would prefer to keep it private...  Would you even consider posting this challenge on your own blog or your FaceBook?  And if God leads you to give money the money somewhere else, would you still let me know? 

Let's share the abundance that God has blessed us with...

I've copied in a few examples from their catalog...but there are many more on their website...

Partner with a church in planting a garden for orphans in their community...$50

We are partnering with churches to begin caring for the orphans in their communities, but without food the children will die.  A garden with life-saving vegetables, surrounded by a fence to keep animals out can help the church provide food for thousands of children in desperate need. It will cost $200 for a 45ft x 45ft garden or share in the cost for $50.

Buy fruit trees...$25

In 2009 hundreds of fruit trees were planted at two children’s homes in Kenya and on Project Canaan land in Swaziland. These trees are lovingly cared for and watered by precious children who know that one day the trees will provide shade as well as fruit to eat.  By donating to this fund, we have the opportunity to plant many more trees yielding nutritious fruit. $25

Help grow food at Project Canaan...$25

Every 3 seconds a child dies of hunger or malnutrition.  With 200,000 orphans in Swaziland and an additional 8,000 new orphans every month we want to develop large scale farming that will allow us to provide healthy food for orphans and vulnerable children as well as generate employment and income on Project Canaan. $25

Send a child to Litsemba...$10

On July 23, 2010, Heart for Africa will transport 15,000 orphans and vulnerable children to the National Stadium in Swaziland to celebrate “Litsemba” which means hope in siSwati. The logistical details of busing the children from every corner of Swaziland are being put into place but we need your help to transport them. It will cost just $10 per child.  At this event children will receive a meal, a blanket, a beanie (it gets really cold in the winter and they need them to keep their heads warm), they will hear a message of hope and if you can just imagine 15,000 orphans and vulnerable children in one stadium, it will help generate awareness in Swaziland of the growing problem of more and more children being orphaned.

 

Full Circle...

One of the leaders at Heart For Africa emailed our November team and said he had a hard time sleeping last night, so he took the photos that I took on our last trip to Swaziland and made a slideshow...  I'm going to post it first, but if you want to know why it took my breath away, you'll have to read on afterwards...  He did an incredible job with the slideshow...

It's been almost a year, but on January 4, 2009, I posted my first entry of the New Year, this is what I wrote...

"Each year I like to ask myself the question, "What do I want God to do in my heart this year?" I guess that could sound a little presumptuous, God will do as He sees fit, but I hope that the longing that He gives me each year, is from Him…a burden for something in my life that needs changing.

Over the last months, since our adoption, God has continued to show me how hard my heart still is and lately, I have found myself longing for God to break my heart...

Over Christmas, I was on IT*nes, trying to find some new groups that I would enjoy listening to and I stumbled across a song by Brandon Heath, it really spoke to my heart. Here are the lyrics…

"Looked down from a broken sky Traced out by the city lights My world from a mile high Best seat in the house tonight Touched down on the cold black tile Hold on for the sudden stop Breath in the familiar shock Of confusion and chaos  All those people going somewhere? Why have I never cared?

Step out on a busy street See a girl and our eyes meet Does her best to smile at me To hide what’s underneath There’s a man just to her right Black suit and a bright red tie Too ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work He’s buying time  All those people going somewhere? Why have I never cared?

I’ve Been there a million times A couple of million eyes just move and pass me by I swear I never thought that I was wrong Well I want a second glance  So give me a second chance To see the way you see the people all alone

Give me your eyes for just one second Give me your eyes so I can see Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity Give me your arms for the broken hearted The ones that are far beyond my reach Give me your heart for the once forgotten"

Too often I find that my heart doesn’t break for the brokenness of humanity and that makes me sad. But I believe that Mr. Heath has the right idea…we need to pray for God’s eyes to see.

He created a perfect world…He gave us a tremendous gift and we wrecked it…that must grieve His heart…so it should grieve mine too. I need His eyes to see…His heart to feel…His love to give…His selflessness to sacrifice.

I have so far to go and yet, I am His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), a work in progress, being crafted by the hand of the Master… I am no where near where He wants me, but I’m so far from what I used to be!

I pray that when this time rolls around next year, my heart will be more tender, more compassionate, more full of mercy and overflowing with His love and grace…I pray that I will see more with His eyes each and every day.

Many blessings in the New Year!

When I started watching the slideshow and the Brandon Heath song started playing, it took my breath away...  As the New Year rolls around,  I have no doubt that God has been answering that prayer...  I'm not all the way there yet, not even close, but it was this last trip to Africa that He used to break my heart for those in distress, like never before...  He is giving me eyes to see, like never before... He is bringing the year full cirle...  I just love how God is intimately involved in the details of our lives!!

Even Abby Gets It...

 Tonight, I was watching a film clip that Janine (from Heart For Africa) posted on her Facebook...  It's a powerful look into the life of an orphan headed household in Swaziland...  It broke my heart...  I tried to post a link to it, but the link works for a while and then just randomly switches to some other video...

But shortly after it started, Abby came over and started watching it with me...  There's English subtitles and she wanted me to read them to her...  I explained to her that these were some of the children from Swaziland, that they were like the ones I went to see...

We talked about how they didn't have a mommy or daddy...  No one to get them food...  Or cook it for them...  No one to wash their clothes...  Or help them take a bath...  Or get ready for the school in the morning...

"Mommy..."  Yes Abby?  "That's so sad..."

A few minutes later, they showed a small child walking with a bucket on his head...  "Mommy, why does he have a bucket on his head?"

"I guess he's going to get water, they don't have a sink like we have...they can't get it whenever they want, like we can..."

A short time later, the child arrived at a water source and began to fill the bucket...  "Mommy, you were right...  But the water looks so dirty."

"It is dirty, it often makes them very sick because they can't get clean water..."

She wanted to know and understand everything that was happening in the film...  "Where was their daddy?"  "Did their mommy die?"

Abby was seeing the reality of their lives and really letting it penetrate her heart and mind...  She was considering what it meant to live like they do...  She's a beautiful example of what it means to really see people...  I think sometimes we may look at things superficially but when we don't really consider what we're seeing, it doesn't penetrate our hearts and stir us into action.

At 7 years old, she gets it...  If what's happening to these children is not okay with a 7 year, how on earth can we justify or rationalize that it's ok with us?