Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Failed A Road Test... FOR REAL!!

So first, an update on Zack...  Thank you so much for your prayers...  We're still on track to avoid a skin graft.  And, if we're still on track next week, his stitches will come out Wednesday morning...

So now for the funny story...  Imagine being a 46 year old adult and having to re-take your road test for your driver's license...  Could you pass?  Are you sure?  Guess what...

Here's what happened...  My driver's license expired... kind of embarrassing, but it's over a year expired...  No real excuse except that I don't look at my driver's license...don't really need too...  and it wasn't until the bank caught it that I even realized it had expired.  But then life hit and I let the summer slide by without renewing it, and now I'm over a year...

I had set aside today to take Nick to get his learner's permit and I was going to renew my license... Time consuming, but straight forward right?  WRONG...

I had done my homework and our DMV website says this for a license expired over a year...

"Driving Skills ( Road Test ) (at the discretion of the Examiner)"

I thought, "46...  road test at the discretion of the examiner...  no problem...  I have a perfect driving record...  why on earth would they make me take a road test?"  WRONG again...  Because they can if they want to (make an example of you)!!

So Nick had to wait on me because he can't get his permit without a licensed driver...  So 90 minutes later I take the written test and miss only one question...  Cool... I'm sailing...  Driving test...  No problem...

WRONG again...  3 strikes and I'm out!!

The guy seemed so nice...  kind of grandfatherly...  teasing me... we even laughed about the extremes that a girl would go to feel younger in a mid life crisis!

Well, don't let those sweet grandfatherly types fool you...  he was good...  really good...

I was SO nervous...  I buckled my seat belt...  checked all my mirrors...  Looked over my right to back up.... Did all of my turn signals...  no sudden stops...  complete stop at all the stop signs... made sure I didn't stop over the white line...  25 mph in a little residential neighborhood...  3 point turn, left shoulder, right shoulder again...  even had the pleasure of driving a safe distance behind a tractor...

When we got back to the DMV office, I'm thinking, "Piece of cake...boy, I did that perfect!... and I asked, in my most southern sweet way...  "So did I do ok?"  I didn't want him to think I was too confident...

And he looked at me, kind of smiled and said, "We'll talk about it when we get inside."  I laughed and said "Uh oh..."  certain that he was messing with me...  He couldn't have had a better driver in weeks with all of the teenagers they get!  NOT!!

We sat down at the desk and he says,  "Mom, I have some bad news." (He'd been calling me mom the whole time...  I told you, he was good at playing the role of sweet grandfatherly type!)  I thought, "Oh, this guy is good....  he is really going to drag this out before he tells me what a good driver I am."

"You didn't look over your right shoulder for the 3 point turn."

What...  Now he's taking it a little far...  "Pardon me?"  "You didn't look over your right should on the 3 point turn."

"But sir...  I clearly remember looking over both shoulders in the backing part of the turn."  "No mam (no more sweet grandfather...) you didn't."  "But I did..."  I was even silly enough to verbally walk him back through the turn...  Well, give this one up, surely they won't fail me for one thing...

But he wasn't done with me yet...  Oh no... "And mam, you can't speed during a driving test!"  SPEED...  I have a perfect driving record...  my husband and best friend tease me for driving slow...  SPEED...

But in my oh so sweet southern way,  I asked, "Where did I speed?"  "In the 35mph hour zone."  "No sir, I was watching my speedometer...  I did 25 through the entire residential area and then when it went up to 35, I watched my speedometer like a hawk...  I was definitely not speeding."  "Mam...  you were doing 40."  "NO SIR (now sweet southern girl is disappearing in a cloud of steam...  angry bull is lurking just below the surface)...  I am CERTAIN I did NOT speed...  the needle bounced between 35 and 36 the entire time."  "NO MAM...  you were doing 40!"

And with that...  he sent me home!  And poor Nick who waited all summer to do this and sat for 2 grueling hours waiting on me...  had to leave the DMV without his permit...  Not because of anything he did, but because his ditzy, procrastinating mom let her license expire!

Oh well...  after the angry bull (who never really made an appearance) went back into the corner and I got over the humiliation of failing a road test in front of my son...  we laughed and laughed...  How many kids can say they were with their mom when she failed her road test?!  In the end...  it's all about the story!  (I gave him permission to have fun at my expense when he got back to school!  Like he really needed my permission!  LOL!!)

And just FYI...  On the way home I said, "Nick, look and see how fast I'm driving."  His response...  "40!"  But the speedometer was sitting right in between 35 and 36...  The officer had the wrong perspective and in the end, made the wrong decision...  it really is all about perspective!

Stay tuned...  Next week "Sunday driver" Sharla will be at the DMV... I guess I should go ahead and make an appointment with the chiropractor to put my neck back in alignment from twisting so far around to be sure he doesn't miss the look over my right shoulder... 

Monday, August 29, 2011

A Great Perspective...

This morning I was driving Nick to school and I said, "Nick, do you realize that since we decided to go to Africa as a family next summer, the refrigerator died... Zack had a terrible accident...  my car died and now the stomach flu is making it's way through our house!"

Nick didn't miss a beat...  He looked at me and said, "I guess that means we're supposed to go!"

Now that's a perspective that makes me smile!  One thing I've learned... when you're heading down the right path, obstacles will abound!!  You can let them knock you off the path, or you can let them be some assurance that you're on the right path...

Now I realize that one could argue, "well maybe they're meant to direct you to another path..."  And I would totally agree that sometimes God does use circumstances to re-direct us...  But what I've learned over the years is that God clearly closes doors, He doesn't play guessing games with us...  Or He takes away our peace... I've never experienced Him using discouragement to lead me to another path...

Just this morning, I was reading 2 Chronicles 20...  A vast army has come against Israel and this is what God says to them in verse 17...  "You will not have to fight this battle.  Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you...  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  Go out and face them and the LORD will be with you."

And Israel went out to face the enemy's army with thanksgiving and praise! 

So I think I'll take a page from Israel's playbook!  I'm going to praise in light of all these annoyances (and a few heartaches with Zack's situation)...  And I'm going to stand firm and guard my heart against discouragement...  This is not my battle to fight and I have TOTAL confidence in the One who is fighting the battle for us!!

(Off to the doctor in a short while for the next check up for Zack's ankle... Will post an update later...  Thank you for all who have been praying!)

Monday, August 22, 2011

And My World Swayed... Literally!


Today was our first follow up visit to see the surgeon since the accident and surgery, last week.  I admit that I had some really…  no REALLY… unreasonable expectations…  I’m not sure what I thought would happen, but it didn’t quite turn out like I wanted…  you know, completely healed, stitches out, Zack playing soccer tomorrow night in the season opener…  (Well…  He is the God of the Impossible!)

But what I saw when they took bandages off pretty much rocked me to the core…  Now I really hate to tell this, but until today, I had not seen Zack’s wound…  Yes, I was in the ER with him, but I either had my eyes closed or my back turned when the doctors were examining him and trying to decide what to do.  You see, I have this sometimes very uncontrollable response to blood… gore… especially when it’s our children…  Not wanting to become the center of attention by fainting in the ER and since I couldn’t offer them any of my non-existent medical expertise, I thought the best plan of action was to keep myself where I could comfort my child (passed out on the floor would not have accomplished that!)…

But today, Scott couldn’t be there, so I knew I had to ‘man-up’ and pay attention to what the doctor had to say…  That meant I had to see what he was talking about…  And oh my goodness…  It was awful…  Part of the cut that runs up his leg is healing well, but down around the ankle…  ugh… I’ll spare you the details…  But my heart broke…

And yet, God had prepared me…  From about 4 a.m. on, I couldn’t really sleep…  I would doze and pray…  I was literally pleading for a good outcome today…  and sometime, in those early hours, that soft, gentle whisper (in my heart) came again…  “Are you just trusting Me for a good outcome in the circumstances, or are you trusting ME?” 

Ouch…  And then it all started to make sense…  God loves us so much He gave His Son for us…  THAT is a love I can trust…  Circumstances may be painful…  they may break my heart…  or my children’s heart…  BUT, if I say I trust God….  If I say He is good…  If I proclaim His love for us…  Then it can’t be dependent on the circumstances, it HAS to be dependent on who He is…

So once again, He made sure I had a place to stand…  And then He let my world rock, well, literally sway a little (talk about whoozy!)…  

I don’t know why today was so hard…  Maybe I’m tired and it’s all catching up to me…  Maybe the fog of last week is finally wearing off…  but it has been the hardest day yet… 

In perspective, it’s silly maybe…  I have my child…  I can laugh with him…  talk to him…  see him…  And he has an injury that will heal…  he’s not going to lose his foot…  or even any mobility… he’ll walk away with a dreadful scar (and as a guy, he’ll be proud of it)…  Even if it requires more treatment, it will still be ok…  But all of that rationale doesn’t change my heartache for right now…  My heart is just not getting the same message as my head…  And for a little while, that’s ok…  But I don’t want to wallow here…

Because the truth is…  the place I chose to stand on is this…  I have an Abba Father who loves me and my family more than I can imagine…  I have years of ‘remembering stones’ where He has shown Himself faithful over and over…  I have story after story of where He took brokenness… heartache… sadness… and literally brought beauty from the ashes…

Great is His faithfulness… His mercies are new every morning…  Tomorrow is a new day!

Friday, August 19, 2011

A Sure Place To Stand... Lessons From Zack's Injury



I’m not sure why I feel led to write this post…  Honestly, I’ve been resisting it for the last couple of days.  I’ve started it and stopped several times, but since I can’t get it out of my heart, I’ll just give in…

Over the summer, I led a small book discussion group using One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp.  It is a wonderful book and God used it in such a sweet way through the early moments of Zack’s injury.  He literally used it to give us a place to stand in the storm…

When I first arrived at the ER, I had no idea what state I would find Zack in…  I knew by then that there had been very little blood loss, so I really felt like his life was not in danger, but I had no idea what state his leg was in…  And I admit, one my greatest heartaches was thinking he had lost his senior soccer season. 

I guess to some that might seem petty or small compared to the damage that could have been done to his foot.  But I knew how Zack had been looking forward to this since his junior season ended.  And not just Zack, but me too…  Soccer has always been one of our special places of connection…  Scott has given me the blessing of taking him to most of his weekend tournaments…  I take tons of photographs…  It’s just been something special we’ve shared.  I was looking forward to savoring every second of every game and now it looked like it was being ripped away…

Not long after I arrived at the hospital, Scott went out to the waiting room to make a few phone calls… So it was just Zack and I…  Zack looked at me and said, “Well, I guess any hope of making all conference is gone…”  I could feel the tears coming so I turned my back and pretended to do something at my purse to regain my composure…  And at that point, it wasn't just soccer I was worried about...  At that point, we only knew what had happened and what the wound looked like...  In our logical minds, we couldn't see how there could be anything but broken bones and shredded ligaments and tendons...  My heart was breaking over soccer...  but even more, my heart was breaking over what this might mean to a 17 year old foot that has a lot of years to go... 

And that’s when I heard a soft whisper in my heart…  Just a few days before, our book group had finished One Thousand Gifts and one of the parts that made such an impression on me was when she wrote, “What if I opened the clenched hands wide to receive all that is?  A life that receives all of God in this moment?”

The quiet voice asked, “Will you receive this with open hands?”  Every fiber of my being wanted to scream “NOOOOOOOO!”  But in the depths of my soul, I could imagine my hands opening and then peace flooded into the heartache…

I turned back to Zack and I said, “You know the book I just finished with the book club?...”  But then the tears came again and I thought twice about what I was about to say…  Would it sound trite?  Would he feel like I was minimizing his heart ache?  And then he said, “Mom, it’s ok…  what were you going to say?”

I don’t know where the words came from…  they weren’t mine… I didn’t even fully understand them when I spoke them…  The Bible says that God will give us our words when we don’t know what to say…  That is my only explanation…

So I told him about opening our hands to receive this…  I told him about the author’s reminder of Romans 8:32…  “He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all – how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?”  She goes on…  “He gave us Jesus!  Gave Him up for us all.  If we have only one memory, isn’t this one enough?  If God didn’t withhold from us His very own Son, will God withhold anything we need?”

“Zack, I don’t understand why this happened…  It doesn’t take away the grief…  the disappointment…  the sadness…  but that gives us a place to stand in the midst of it all…  We can look at what He did for us when He let Jesus die on the cross and we can trust Him…”

Somehow it doesn’t seem right to share his thoughts at this point, but I was blown away by his ability to look beyond his heartache and see a bigger picture…  He understands that in every situation, eternity is what hangs in the balance…

But it’s only been in the days that have followed that I’ve really begun to understand what I said to him…

The grief over his season has hit me hard…  I know that it’s not lost…  That there’s a good possibility that he’ll get more than half of it in…  But I’m a selfish woman and I wanted it all (how’s that for honest)…  I wanted to suck the life out of every moment…  And I can tell you for certain that Zack did too…

I took some laundry out of the dryer yesterday that was a leftover from before the accident and as I folded it, I realized that it had his soccer jerseys in it…  I’ve never had such a hard time folding 2 shirts in all my life…

But in the midst of the storm…  I have a place to stand…   No matter how much it hurts…  No matter how the emotions batter my soul…  I can experience them all because God did not withhold His very own Son from me…from us…  There is no bigger picture of His love… And there is no greater assurance that I can put all of our hopes and dreams safely into His Son’s nail scarred hands…

Years ago, Scott and I were in a store and saw the amazing photograph by Jean Guichard that I put at the beginning of the post…  I have never forgotten it…  The storm that is raging around the man is CRAZY...  yet he stands with such peace and confidence because he is certain of where he is standing...  That photo left an imprint on my heart because it is such a picture of how I long to live when storms hit...  And it is a picture of who Christ can be for us when we find refuge in Him…  Are you certain of where you're standing?

(Zack is doing so much better...  no real pain...  sleeping and eating better...  Now we're all just waiting and praying for Monday when we see the surgeon and find out if the wound is healing...  if you've been praying, thank you...  Would you keep praying for him that God will supernaturally heal the wound and that a skin graft will not be necessary?  Thank you, thank you!!)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Catapulted...

So how do I begin to tell a story that I feel like I got dropped… really catapulted… into the middle of? It wouldn’t have been story that I would have chosen, had I been given a choice… And yet, I wouldn’t ask to come out of it now (Zack might want to smack me for that one… you’ll understand why in a minute)…

On the surface, it seems like it began yesterday around 1 p.m…. But as I look back on provision after provision, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, it started well before it seemed…

Sometime after 1 yesterday, my cell phone rang… it was the call that every mother dreads, “Sharla, Zack has been in accident.” I know my friend tried to reassure me, but I could tell by the sound of her voice that this wasn’t the usual, ‘go to the hospital and get an x-ray’ kind of accident… Perhaps her words, “the ambulance is on the way” was the obvious give away!

From there she handed the phone to Zack so he could reassure me… “Mom, the bobcat (a 1300 pound piece of landscaping equipment) ran over my foot. I don’t think it’s broken, but I can see bone.”

It’s amazing the number of thoughts that can run through your head in a matter of nanoseconds… Utter confusion… (How does my friend D know? Oh yeah… Zack is on a landscaping job at her house...) Frustration at the utter confusion (Ambulance…why is there an ambulance coming?) Relief… (It’s not broken… how bad can it be?) More confusion… (Bone…. How can you see bone? Ambulance? I’m still not getting the ambulance…) Understanding… (It’s cut really bad…) Sheer terror (How do I get to my child?) Despair (So much of what he’s…truthfully, what we’ve… looked forward to his senior year of high school soccer… co-captain with one of his closest friends… a swirl going down the drain)…

Calls to Scott… where to take him… calls to church… please pray… calls to friends to pray… to work out the logistics of caring for 3 other children… Fear… a band around my insides until one of our pastors prays with me and then peace… sweet peace that passes all understanding… calm in the middle of a storm that I have no idea how big it will be…

I finally make it to the hospital… to Zack… and then I stand back and watch the hand of God… It really started at my friend’s house where the accident happened…

The accident… Zack was at his landscaping job… He realized the bobcat he was operating was in the way of the man he works for (incredible guy… we’ve been so blessed to have Zack and Nick work for him this summer)… He started to back up with it and forgot that a pallet was behind him… he tripped and fell… the bobcat ran up his right leg… a 1300 pound piece of equipment on his leg… somehow he pushed it off… the body is an amazing thing… he didn’t even know he was hurt… he stood up, turned off the bobcat… looked down and realized that he was in trouble… I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that he could see everything on the inside of his right leg from his ankle to about 5 inches up…

Another friend of ours was visiting at the house… I learned today that she went simply because she felt led to go… Even her husband asked her why she was going… She’s a trained nurse… she knew exactly what to do to prevent shock… she took care of him until the ambulance arrived…

Having no clue how serious this was, we asked to have him taken to our local hospital… The EMTs in their great wisdom overrode us and took him to a trauma center downtown…

And ever since that moment, we have spent the last 32+ hours in awe of our great God… 1300 pounds on a leg and not even a cracked bone… a horrible wound that gouged out flesh yet went between 2 ligaments that attach to the ankle… tendons… and cleanly between 2 blood vessels… I don’t even want to think what that could have meant…

The next hours were filled with an amazing nurse who clearly had been given a heart for Zack… She advocated for him… she reassured us… she didn’t just do her job, she served us in such sweet ways… I will never forget what she did for us… There were desperate prayers for wisdom for the doctors, especially when every fiber of my being said that one of their options for treatment was not the right one…

And then a gift… another friend called her brother-in-law who is a plastic surgeon… he agreed to stop by when he finished rounds… he looked at Zack’s wound and just as he started to talk to us, the ER doctor came in to tell us the plan… Dr. B stayed and listened to it all… After the ER doctor left, he confirmed that they had come up with the right plan, the plan he would want if it was his leg… Peace… sweet peace… No… I absolutely DON’T believe in coincidence!!

In the midst of the storm… friends… our church body being the body in the most amazing way… prayers… phone calls… visits… texts… e-mails… I can’t even begin to tell you how all of them have touched us and been the tangible comfort and strength of God through it all…

They did a preliminary cleaning of his wound in the ER and then surgery was planned for today… A sleepless night… but then I have to say that anything that drives you to God’s throne of grace isn’t all bad…

I admit, while I prayed for the impossible, closing the wound with no skin graft… I didn’t really think it was realistic to hope for… But I still prayed… A very wise ministry leader told my dear friend, not too long ago… “Something won’t NOT happen, because I didn’t ask for it…” So I asked (and so did a WHOLE lot of others! Thank you!!)…

And at 9:00 a.m…. just 40 minutes after surgery began… his surgeon came out and said, “we’re done…I was able to close it completely.” The God of the impossible, did the impossible!

Zack will miss some of his soccer season, but not all… In another post, I’ll tell you about a really sweet conversation with him, in the midst of this crazy storm… I’ve never been more proud… I’ve never forgotten what a friend of mine quoted from her husband, “People are like toothpaste, you don’t really know what’s inside until they get squeezed.” Zack got squeezed… We saw his heart and his character… We love the Christ in him that we see growing…

More in the next day or so…  I'll leave you with one of my favorite Max Lucado quotes, from the Great House of God...

"When somone speaks, Jesus hears...  When Jesus hears, thunder falls...  When thunder falls, the world is changed...  All because someone prayed."

I don't understand how prayer works...  or why God chooses to use our prayers...  But I know He does...  I've seen it and experienced it with my own heart and my own eyes!  And I've never been so thankful!


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Getting The Facts Straight!


So I think today is the day I’m going to get on my soapbox…  I’m sure I’ll step on a few toes on the way up, but oh well, I’m tired of being silent while people make some statements that are just NOT grounded in facts...

Statements (or should I say criticisms) like “You know, we have poor in America that you could serve?”  I  actually had a man, a TSA agent, criticize me in the airport a couple of years ago for going to Africa while there are people in need right here at home…

Or the way too common (definitely not informed) lament over how much aid is given to foreign countries, when we have our own starving, homeless, etc., right here in America…  I see it all the time on FB.  Just the other day, a friend of mine expressed a desire to go to Somalia because she was broken hearted over the circumstances there…  Another ‘friend’ of hers actually berated her for her compassion and went off on all the ‘aid’ we give to foreign countries while we have people in need right here at home…

So let’s talk about that and try and get some facts straight…

First, the average income in America is $27,041/year (2009 Census Bureau Numbers) and in Swaziland, it’s $2,280 (Numbers from World Vision)...  That's 92% lower!!

So how does the cost of living compare between Swaziland and the US?  Well, of course it's lower and while I couldn't find a lot of numbers, I learned that rent prices in Swaziland are 46% lower than the US and groceries are 44% lower... But with an income that's 92% lower than ours, it gives a whole new meaning to poverty!


I’ve met teenagers who prostitute themselves to feed the siblings that they’re raising because their parents have died…  I’ve seen a mother feed her 3 year old daughter a rotten banana off a garbage dump…  I’ve met a grandmother who comes to the dump to get food for her grandchildren that she’s raising…  I’ve met young men who search the dump for meat bones, pull off whatever’s left and cook it at the dump…  Dinner anyone?  But heaven forbid we help them out since we have hungry people right here at home…

In America, 14.3% of the population live below the poverty line…  In Swaziland, 69% live below the poverty line…

I know that there are some pretty terrible situations in America, but frankly, America is unbelievably wealthy, even in a down economy… there is just no excuse for anyone to be hungry here… how is it that we can’t support 14.3% of our population… 

The people of Swaziland, and many other countries like them, don’t even have a population of ‘middle classers’…  For crying out loud, 69% of their population is below the poverty line… how on earth are they supposed to find the resources to help each other?

Ok, so let’s talk about giving…  People seem to think that so much of the National Budget goes to foreign aid…  In one poll, the average American ASSUMED that our government gives 25% of the National Budget to foreign aid...  Talk about MIS-informed!  Guess what?  It’s only 1.1%...  We’re definitely NOT giving away the store…  To our own population, it’s between 5.4% and 6%...  It seems that we spend as much, if not more on debt service than we do caring for our poor…  

And individual giving?  Lest anyone think that tons is being given by the individual giver to global issues…  It’s ONLY 3%...  The majority of our charitable giving stays right here at home…

So, it’s time to stop picking on those who have a heart for others in our international community (and wrongly assuming that we don't do anything at home)…  Find your passion, whether in the USA, or globally (this world would never work if we all had the same passion)…  And then when you find it, serve there with your whole heart… 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Love Without Reserve...


I’ve been home for over a week now, but somehow I can’t get this trip out of my mind and heart…  Even more, I can’t get the people out of my mind and heart…  I miss them…  I’ve thought of a thousand questions I wished I’d asked them…  Questions about their life…  Their struggles…  Their joys…  And I’m utterly frustrated because I have no immediate way to communicate with them. 

But there’s something I struggle with...

I love these people…  It’s not logical…  I’ve known them for 6 ½ days of my life…  It’s not really rational…  But I do…  I want to be back with them…  I want to work in their garden with them (and I hate gardening!)…  I just want to sit and really talk to them…  And of course, worship with them! And the cool thing is that it’s a love with no real expectations…  They can’t give me anything…  Or really do anything for me…   

But I admit, I want them to feel the same way about me, and I don't always trust that they do… I want them to love me and accept me… Not for what I bring…  Or who I might know in the US…  Or for what I might help them build…  Because the reality is, I don’t really have any influence to get people to give money…  I’m not well connected… I don’t have a storehouse of money myself… I’m just an ordinary suburban mom who has fallen in love with a small country on the opposite side of the world.   No explainable reason…  it’s just what’s so!

But then it hit me... Isn’t that the kind of love God wants from us?  A love without strings…  A love that has no ‘in order to’ attached to…  ‘In order to’ get blessings…  ‘In order to’ have an illness healed…  ‘In order to’ be successful…  or have great children… or whatever…

Last year, on the last day we were in the community, I had a really hard time because the Pastor pulled out the blueprints for the church/meeting center he longs to build…  The man is truly a visionary…  But unlike most Americans, who can run to the bank for a loan, he has no resources.  So who can really blame him for making the most of an opportunity, isn’t that what a true visionary in the US would do?

And yet, I struggled with that for months, I even considered not going back to the same community…  Because I didn’t want him to play a game with me, telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, only to get what he wanted…  Thankfully, in the end, a greater love and grace than anything I’m capable of, overrode my need to protect myself…  And God taught me something in the process...

I'm really no different in my relationship with God…  I often tell Him what I think He wants to hear... Worry that if I don't have the 'right quiet' time, I might not get His blessings... or I might make Him unhappy, which would cause Him to withhold His blessings...  I wrestle with, "Am I doing enough...  Praying enough...  Reading my Bible enough..."  And yet, that is not who God is...  And that is certainly NOT the gospel... the good news...  Jesus gave His life for...
  
God just wants our love, whether He chooses to give….or to take away…  He just wants us to want Him…  Not His stuff…  Not His miracles… Not His ability to right every wrong…

And yet, the really cool thing is that He loves unconditionally…  He loves us faithfully…  He still shows up… Even when we love Him for the wrong reasons…   

As I understand more and more how risky (and even a little scary) it is to love with no reserve….to love unconditionally… my gratitude for God’s love just goes deeper and deeper…

Friday, August 5, 2011

Special Visitors...

3 years ago, when we adopted Abby, we were so blessed to travel with the family that was adopting Abby's older foster sister, Penny.  It was amazing how God orchestrated all of the details, as we were with 2 different agencies...  I will never forget the day that I received an e-mail that simply said, "I think I'm adopting your daughter's older foster sister..."  And from that point on, we received our approvals together, and even walked into the Ch*na Adoption Affairs building at the same time...

Unfortunately they live many miles from here, so it's been a couple of years since our last visit...  But yesterday, they came through our town and we got to spend time with Abby's foster sister and her 6...  Yes, SIX adopted sisters...  They are an amazing family!  And I got to have 4 of them spend the night with us...  Oh the laughter and the giggles...

I just wished we lived closer to them...

Here are a few pictures...

Abby and Penny



The "Sleep Over" Gang


The WHOLE Gang


R & C...  You are one special couple with an amazing family!  How God must smile!!  Thanks for coming to see us!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Call That Made My Day...

For some reason, coming home from Swaziland this time has been the hardest yet...  I've just been so stinkin' sad about what I learned this time...  Funny, while I was there, I had so much fun with them...  But coming home, as I've had time to really process our conversations, I'm overwhelmed with the depth of the need there and the obstacles they face...

And of course, all of that need costs money...  It cost to go there...  It cost to help them with resources...  And that feels overwhelming too...

But in the midst of it all, some really cool things have been happening and God's been busy reminding me that He still owns the cattle on a thousand hills...

On Tuesday I learned that in a Silent Auction, that Ruby's Gift (on Selwyn Avenue), held for me right before I left, raised $245!!  Guess what the deposit amount is to open a trip account at Heart For Africa?  $250!  (Ruby's Gift is a GREAT gift shop that features only local artists...  Stop by sometime, it is a really fun place to shop!)


That same day, I received my acceptance letter into a really big juried art festival in September...

Yesterday, I stopped by another gift shop (Honeysuckle) where I have a booth for my jewelry and was stunned when she gave me my check for July...  I thought July was going to be a terrible month...  But it was my 2nd best so far!!

In the evening, I happened to check my website and realized a sale had come through while I was gone...  when I e-mailed her to apologize for the delay in getting her order to her, she said her friend had received one my necklaces as a birthday gift and that's how she found out about my jewelry!  Referrals are such a good sign for a business!

And then the phone call that made my day...  One of Zack's good friends called looking for him, I'll call him C...  C is a great young man and very talented...  He leads worship and wow, can he can sing!  Since Zack was at soccer practice, C said, "Mrs. M..., I've been wanting to talk to you...  In a few weeks my first CD is coming out and I'd like to donate a portion of my profits to your next trip to Africa."

I was stunned...  I wasn't even sure what to say...  At 17, I was all about me...  I wanted to make (and spend) all that I could...  It would have never occurred to me to give it away!

And in that moment God taught me something...  He will move in willing hearts and He WILL accomplish His purposes, I just need to keep taking one step at a time, praying and trusting that God will provide what is needed!

Well, I told C that I would be honored for him to donate to my next trip, but would he be willing to pray about something first... I am not a non-profit and while you can contribute to my trips through Heart For Africa, which is a non-profit...  Heart For Africa is the one that people need to be pointed to...  God is doing amazing things through them in Swaziland!

I also told him about the community that I've grown to love and I told him about their need for a well...  And that seemed to really touch his heart...  So we are in the process of exploring if we can do the well through HFA...  If so, God may have just opened the door, and started providing the resources for this community to get the water they so desperately need...  I had been praying and asking God for clear direction about whether or not to pursue raising funds for a well...  And He answered through a selfless 17 year old young who was willing to hear his Father's voice and follow...

2 Corinthians 9:8 says, "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

God will accomplish His purposes...  He will equip me, and Heart For Africa, and that awesome community in Swaziland, and YOU... for every good work that He has planned...  I definitely need to memorize that verse and hang on to it!!

Tomorrow I'll tell you about some VERY special visitors that will be here later today!!!  It's going to be a GREAT day!!  (And when C's CD is available in a few weeks, I'll let you know that too!)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Weight of a Word...

Over the summer, we have been studying the parables in our Sunday School...  At the beginning of the summer, one of the first ones we considered was the parable of the Shrewd Manager, in Luke 16:1-12...  There's many different schools of thought on this parable...  But I just want to share how it hit me...

In Luke 16:1, the master accuses his manager, or steward, of  "wasting his - the master's - goods."  Those words have haunted me all summer, but the weight of them has increased exponentially since returning from Swaziland.

I look around me, even in the room I'm sitting in, and I see so much waste...  Books that were never finished...  who needs so many books... accessories on the shelves that do nothing but collect dust...  just stuff...  too much stuff.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way saying it's wrong to enjoy God's blessings...  this is not meant to be a guilt trip...  but for me, I just need to take a long look and call a spade a spade...  or waste waste...

When I think about the waste...  I see a bore hole that could have been...  or a women's center to teach them skills to earn income that could be started today...  I see so much potential for eternal value that has been wasted...  

As my friend Naomi posted yesterday, she's being challenged "to not get caught up in this life but to lay aside that which we don't really need. It is a snare that we can easily get caught up in if we do not guard our hearts."

5 trips to Africa and I still have a hard time guarding my heart...  Time and distance are not my friends when it comes to keeping the heart clean, after a trip like this...  But God has promised to complete the good work He began and I trust that He will not give up on me...  (thank goodness!)...

True transformation starts with a broken heart...  So instead of wallowing in regret and guilt, I will simply choose a different path and I will ask Him how I can start to clean up my mess of too much stuff... 

As I continue to learn from these trips...  stuff doesn't make me happy or bring lasting joy...  but the smallest offering, to someone in need, brings a joy that is far beyond anything of this world...

Bubbles...


Balls...


Ourselves!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Reality Check

So after many hours of travel, we are home...  From Swaziland to my mom's 44 1/2 LONG hours...  Flight delays...  missed connecting flights...  ridiculous amounts of confusion at the airline counters...  crazy stuff...  but I'd do it all again to be back in Swaziland!  Every time I leave there, I leave a piece of my heart...

As I've had many hours to think, there's a few things I've had some time to ponder and process, this one may be a little long, but I've got to get this out...

First,  the last day I was talking to M (one of the young ladies I wrote about earlier) and we were talking about watering the garden...  They now have 2 water tanks there so I asked how much does it cost to fill them...  300 rand...  roughly $50...  My immediate response (which thankfully didn't come out of my mouth) was "oh, that's not too bad." 

Really Sharla?  Think that one through for a minute...  The average income in Swaziland is $1/day...  So to fill the water tanks, one would have to work 50 days...  basically 2 months, just to have easier access to water...  Otherwise they carry it from the cow's pond...  A pond that the cows walk in, poop in...  You get the picture...  We carried water from that pond...  My container was about 3/4 full...  I don't know how they do it time after time...




Sometimes they can afford to pay for the water truck, but the truck doesn't come...  For the most part Swaziland is dry...  Maybe 2-3 months of a rainy season, but that's it...

Now in Swaziland, with water, they could have almost a year round growing season, the climate there is wonderful...  but without water, nothing grows (wow...  is there a spiritual parallel in that!)...  And when nothing grows, they have nothing to eat...  They can't feed themselves, much less orphans in their community who have no one to provide for them...

Is there a solution?  YES...  A bore hole (basically a well)...  would be a start to changing their lives...

Second, when I was there last year, the pastor showed us plans for a church he would love to build...  I admit, I had a hard time with that...  starving children and you want to build a church?  But really, he's got a visionary spirit...  He doesn't want to just build a church, but something that can be used as a conference center and rented for meeting space...  You see, the new Swazi national airport just opened up nearby...  So often there is a need for conference space...  In addition, the schools are often looking for a larger place to meet...  It makes so much sense...

But God did something that convicted my heart on this trip...  He made it rain...  And while it rained, I stood in their current church, trying to find shelter... This is their church...



If you go to church, does your church look like this?  Do you have a hard time staying dry?  Or warm?  Or cool?  Are you worried that your church might cave in on you?  Do you sit on wooden benches with no backs?  Or nice chairs/pews?  Do you have any wooden benches that are balancing on cinder blocks? 

I needed the rain to wash my self-righteous heart and show me what it's like to walk in their shoes for a while... 

Finally, on the five hour bus drive from Swaziland to Johannesburg, Mr. K (the father of the family that served with us at the same church...) told us about a conversation that he had with some of the young men in the community...  Really special young men who have hopes and dreams, who are so smart and wise, and yet have no opportunities to improve their lives because of a wretched economy and a political system that thrives on bribery...

Well, Mr. K asked them about HIV and found that they had not been tested because they were afraid of the results...  HIV has a terrible stigma attached to it...  They don't understand that ARV's really can help them...  There is a hopelessness associated with it that is destroying this country...  Why dream?  Why work hard?  Why fight?  If you're just going to die?

The average life expectancy in Swaziland is 29 1/2...  I can hardly stand to write this next part...  These young men that touched the hearts of my sons...  Who made me laugh and smile...  Who became family in 3 short days...  They are all around 24...  If they are HIV positive, and if they don't get help, they will become a statistic...  Good minds... hard workers...  so many gifts and abilities...  wasted... 

I have no doubt that someday God will hold Americans accountable for how we wasted His blessings... But I have to wonder, will He also hold us accountable for how we didn't at least try to help others make the most of the gifts/talents they had been blessed with?

I don't know what the answer is...  I know it's not more money just thrown at them that provides a temporary bandaid...  But maybe it's some resources that help them overcome the most basic obstacles...  Maybe it's business people who can come alongside them, stepping into their culture and discovering how to generate income... 

Maybe it's a bore hole that will enable them to water their crops...  a few more fruit trees... seedlings... that can will enable them to grow extra crops to sell...  to buy concrete blocks to build a conference center....to produce more income that will eventually enable them to build the children's home they dream of...  I don't know, but life...  spiritual, as well as physical, starts with a small seed...  God can do alot with something small...  He is the God of the impossible!