I Failed A Road Test... FOR REAL!!

So first, an update on Zack...  Thank you so much for your prayers...  We're still on track to avoid a skin graft.  And, if we're still on track next week, his stitches will come out Wednesday morning...

So now for the funny story...  Imagine being a 46 year old adult and having to re-take your road test for your driver's license...  Could you pass?  Are you sure?  Guess what...

Here's what happened...  My driver's license expired... kind of embarrassing, but it's over a year expired...  No real excuse except that I don't look at my driver's license...don't really need too...  and it wasn't until the bank caught it that I even realized it had expired.  But then life hit and I let the summer slide by without renewing it, and now I'm over a year...

I had set aside today to take Nick to get his learner's permit and I was going to renew my license... Time consuming, but straight forward right?  WRONG...

I had done my homework and our DMV website says this for a license expired over a year...

"Driving Skills ( Road Test ) (at the discretion of the Examiner)"

I thought, "46...  road test at the discretion of the examiner...  no problem...  I have a perfect driving record...  why on earth would they make me take a road test?"  WRONG again...  Because they can if they want to (make an example of you)!!

So Nick had to wait on me because he can't get his permit without a licensed driver...  So 90 minutes later I take the written test and miss only one question...  Cool... I'm sailing...  Driving test...  No problem...

WRONG again...  3 strikes and I'm out!!

The guy seemed so nice...  kind of grandfatherly...  teasing me... we even laughed about the extremes that a girl would go to feel younger in a mid life crisis!

Well, don't let those sweet grandfatherly types fool you...  he was good...  really good...

I was SO nervous...  I buckled my seat belt...  checked all my mirrors...  Looked over my right to back up.... Did all of my turn signals...  no sudden stops...  complete stop at all the stop signs... made sure I didn't stop over the white line...  25 mph in a little residential neighborhood...  3 point turn, left shoulder, right shoulder again...  even had the pleasure of driving a safe distance behind a tractor...

When we got back to the DMV office, I'm thinking, "Piece of cake...boy, I did that perfect!... and I asked, in my most southern sweet way...  "So did I do ok?"  I didn't want him to think I was too confident...

And he looked at me, kind of smiled and said, "We'll talk about it when we get inside."  I laughed and said "Uh oh..."  certain that he was messing with me...  He couldn't have had a better driver in weeks with all of the teenagers they get!  NOT!!

We sat down at the desk and he says,  "Mom, I have some bad news." (He'd been calling me mom the whole time...  I told you, he was good at playing the role of sweet grandfatherly type!)  I thought, "Oh, this guy is good....  he is really going to drag this out before he tells me what a good driver I am."

"You didn't look over your right shoulder for the 3 point turn."

What...  Now he's taking it a little far...  "Pardon me?"  "You didn't look over your right should on the 3 point turn."

"But sir...  I clearly remember looking over both shoulders in the backing part of the turn."  "No mam (no more sweet grandfather...) you didn't."  "But I did..."  I was even silly enough to verbally walk him back through the turn...  Well, give this one up, surely they won't fail me for one thing...

But he wasn't done with me yet...  Oh no... "And mam, you can't speed during a driving test!"  SPEED...  I have a perfect driving record...  my husband and best friend tease me for driving slow...  SPEED...

But in my oh so sweet southern way,  I asked, "Where did I speed?"  "In the 35mph hour zone."  "No sir, I was watching my speedometer...  I did 25 through the entire residential area and then when it went up to 35, I watched my speedometer like a hawk...  I was definitely not speeding."  "Mam...  you were doing 40."  "NO SIR (now sweet southern girl is disappearing in a cloud of steam...  angry bull is lurking just below the surface)...  I am CERTAIN I did NOT speed...  the needle bounced between 35 and 36 the entire time."  "NO MAM...  you were doing 40!"

And with that...  he sent me home!  And poor Nick who waited all summer to do this and sat for 2 grueling hours waiting on me...  had to leave the DMV without his permit...  Not because of anything he did, but because his ditzy, procrastinating mom let her license expire!

Oh well...  after the angry bull (who never really made an appearance) went back into the corner and I got over the humiliation of failing a road test in front of my son...  we laughed and laughed...  How many kids can say they were with their mom when she failed her road test?!  In the end...  it's all about the story!  (I gave him permission to have fun at my expense when he got back to school!  Like he really needed my permission!  LOL!!)

And just FYI...  On the way home I said, "Nick, look and see how fast I'm driving."  His response...  "40!"  But the speedometer was sitting right in between 35 and 36...  The officer had the wrong perspective and in the end, made the wrong decision...  it really is all about perspective!

Stay tuned...  Next week "Sunday driver" Sharla will be at the DMV... I guess I should go ahead and make an appointment with the chiropractor to put my neck back in alignment from twisting so far around to be sure he doesn't miss the look over my right shoulder...