Saturday, November 29, 2008

Tagged...This Is A Fun, Easy One!

My cyber friend, Katy, over at The One Place I Call Home has tagged me with a fun little exercise...

The Rules:
1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open it to page 56
3. Find the 5th sentence
4.Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with instructions
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book or the most intellectual - Pick the CLOSEST

So I followed the rules exactly, sitting at my feet, what else, The Life Application Bible Commentary on 1 & 2 Peter and Jude (I'm teaching 1 & 2 Peter in CBS right now)...

Let's see, page 56, 5th sentence... "Words from Scripture stand forever and can be trusted completely."

What a perfect and true sentence!!

I'm not sure how many I'm supposed to tag so I'm tagging April, Trina , Robin and Leslie! (I'm curious to know what you're all reading these days!)

Friday, November 28, 2008

A Picture Of What God Intends...

The last few days have been so amazing…

Usually, Thanksgiving is our holiday where we don’t travel... 5 days of ‘homebody’ bliss… we guard it like a precious gem. But this year, there were still so many that hadn’t met Abby, that we decided that meeting family was far more important than our tradition, so we packed up the car and headed somewhere else in the south.

My aunt and uncle were staying nearby, so on Wednesday evening, we were able to introduce Abby to my Uncle S. and Aunt S., as well as her brother and family. We had so much fun and Abby was in rare form…

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Abby with Aunt S.

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Abby with Aunt S. & Uncle S. (Mom's brother & sister-in-law...in many ways, my second parents and an amazing influence in my life...they are a treasure to me!)

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My aunt's brother and sister-in-law...they were so generous to open their home to us so we could all hang out together for the evening!

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The crew!

On Thursday, we headed out to another cousin’s house for Thanksgiving… B. & R. are always so amazingly generous to open their home on that day, there’s always a crowd…

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The entire Thanksgiving clan...they were so amazing with Abby!

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Us with my mom! Doesn't she look amazing!!

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Abby with cousin R, in front of one of his really cool cars!! I love this photo!!

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I had a hard time getting her out of the car!

This year was especially special to our family…Abby was experiencing her first Thanksgiving, and even more importantly, the overwhelming love and acceptance of my amazing family! I’ve read so many stories of extended families who opposed an adoption, especially an international adoption, but not my family, or Scott’s either.

I knew our families would be welcoming, but their love for her has touched me and moved me in a way that I can’t possibly put into words.

Abby has been celebrated…she has been accepted unconditionally…she has been loved…she has been treasured…I will be forever grateful to mine and Scott’s family for so completely showing her the love of Jesus…

But here’s what struck me as I considered this…

What has happened with Abby is a picture of what should happen in the church, it’s what God intended… We are all adopted children in the family of God, when a ‘new child’ enters the family of God, we should celebrate them, unconditionally accept them, love them and treasure them…just as God does each one of us.

But sadly, that is often not the case… Too often it seems that we want people to reach some standard of behavior before we accept them completely. We speak harshly and judgmentally of sins we feel passionate about, and we strip people of a safe place to heal from the past actions that have eaten at their soul. Ultimately, we don’t love others as Christ loved us…

At Thanksgiving this year, I am so thankful for mine and Scott’s family... A family who has taught me, through their unconditional acceptance of Abby, a little bit more of what God intended for the church, the body of Christ, to look like.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Happy Birthday True Love...What I Love About My Husband!

What a perfect day to tell you what I love about my husband…

I love his eyes…sometimes green…sometimes blue!

I love that he never raises his voice when he’s angry…

I love the way he loves me…unconditionally with amazing grace and patience…more than once he has taught me what my heavenly Father’s love is like!

I love the way he loves our children...

*How he takes the boys to breakfast every once in a while to discuss ‘manly’ things with them…

*Or how he takes Mackenzie on a date night to her favorite restaurant…

*Or how he’s not afraid to paint Abby’s toenails for her!

I love that he loves my family (his in-laws)…that he likes to hang out with them!

I love that he serves with no thought of himself…he gives and gives and never asks or expects anything in return…

I love how he offers me so much perspective when I’m upset about something…

I love how he listens to me and doesn’t try and fix me or the situation…

I love that instead of criticizing me, he waits and prays and lets God do His work in me…

I love that he will ask me great questions, leading me to a course of action, instead of just telling me what to do…he lets me own it and make it mine…

I love how he supports me in the ways I serve in ministry, even when I know there are other things he would like for me to focus on more…

I love how he listens to my lectures every week, so I can practice, and he never seems to get tired of them!

I love that he is willing to surrender his will and walk in faith and obedience to wherever He believes God is leading him, even when it flies in the face of long thought out plans. Like when we adopted, that just wasn’t in his plan, but he prayed with a surrendered heart and stepped out in faith.

I love that we love the same movies…that he’s great at Trivial Pursuit, Boggle and Scrabble and that he would rather be hanging out with his family than any where else in the world.

I love how he respects me and loves me…I know with all of my heart that he is a beautiful example of Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” He lays down his life for his family everyday…setting aside his wants and giving us each what we need.

Today is Scott’s day to receive gifts, but he is a gift to us everyday! I am so thankful that before eternity began, God planned for our lives to intersect and that He chose me to be his wife!

P.S. There's an adoption post from this morning below...

A Hard Morning...

So first off, I deleted the post on photographing sports photos... It's just too hard for me to teach something like that in writing, I need to be able to sit down and show you and then when I try to be funny, it just sounds 'smart-alecky' to me, or even worse, arrogant, and that is just not my heart...so it's gone to the "cyber cemetery" or wherever deleted posts go...

Ok...so about this morning. It was really hard and I learned a difficult lesson about relationships and schedules, maybe you'll learn something from my mistakes...

Usually Abby is pretty good to get up, but every once in a while she is the typical 6 year old who just wants to stay cuddled up in her warm blankets. This morning was beyond typical though... I couldn't get her moving for anything. I just assumed she was being stubborn...first BIG mistake, don't assume anything with anyone, especially your adopted child... I don't know if you're like me or not, but too often, my assumptions are for the worst and that doesn't lend itself to much compassion...combine that with a schedule and you have a recipe for disaster.

Well I finally got her to sit up and from that point, she always dresses herself, so I headed downstairs to make lunches. But about 10 minutes later, Mackenzie came down and said she was still just sitting there...

So in total frustration, I stomped up the stairs (I know, I know...I forgot who the adult was for a few minutes) and firmly told her to get dressed...when she refused, dad poked his head in the door and added his firm command, which did nothing either. Finally, after several more refusals, she put on her clothes...with her little head hanging...I told you assumptions + schedules = disaster!

Next I sent her into the bathroom to brush her teeth so we wouldn't have to come upstairs again and that's when my crusty heart started to melt... As I prayed about what to do, I kept hearing these little sniffles and then she looked at me with those silent, BIG gator tears streaming down her face...

"Lord...I have no idea how to handle this..." Important note to self, always pray FIRST...not after disaster is in progress.

Well, after she finished brushing her teeth, I decided that even though I knew she would resist me, I was going to pull her into my lap and if she missed school, or I had to mess up our blasted schedule and she was late...SO WHAT?! This precious child with a sad little heart was far more important than schedules... See what prayer can do?!

She didn't snuggle in to be comforted, but she did let me hold her while she cried... I first asked her if she was sick...we covered from head to toe...no she felt fine. But then I asked her if her heart was sick...was she sad? A little nod yes... Do you miss China? A slight nod... Mama Gong? Another barely nod... Penny (foster sister)? And another slight nod... "Abby, it's ok to be sad, it's ok to cry when you miss China... I love you forever, even when I mess up and fuss because you're not dressed."

A few more minutes and she was ready to face the day! She went off with smiles, laughter and BIG hug...the thunderstorm had passed and the sun was back out...

God is the creator of time and He can increase the minutes when we're moving according to His agenda, not our own... I think this morning, He wanted to remind me that my schedule is His schedule...I just need to love His precious little ones and He'll take care of the rest...

We still squeezed in breakfast in the car and she made the bus...she wanted to go with her big sister!

Later, I'm going to do a post to celebrate my wonderful husband...it's his birthday today!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

She Said It First!!!

4 months ago today (well, yesterday...I didn't get it posted before midnight), we met Abby for the very first time. There have been many times in the last 4 months when the barriers of her heart seemed as if I would never be able to penetrate them. More than once my heart has broken as she has rejected my love and affection.

But it has been a lesson in grace and unconditional love for me…I am learning to love as my Abba Father loves me. Something that is good for Abby, but for everyone else around me too…

With Abby, I have learned to persevere, even when I felt like giving up…I have learned to be the adult (novel idea for a 43 year old!), even when it didn’t feel good… Over and over I have had to set aside my hopes and dreams and meet her right where she is, instead of where I want her to be. And many times I have thought, “I wonder if this is how it is for my Heavenly Father?”

I know for certain He perseveres, when He has every right to give up… I know He loves me, even when the way I treat Him grieves Him… I know for a fact that more than once He’s met me right where I was instead of where I’m sure He wished I would be…

But yesterday brought one of those moments that makes it all worthwhile… I was talking to Mackenzie on the phone and Abby wanted to talk to me. We talked for a few minutes (actually, she talked, I just tried to figure out what she was saying and somehow respond with the right answer), but then I asked her to give the phone back to Mackenzie… And in that moment it happened…she said it first! I heard, “I love you mommy!” WOW…who knew it could be so wonderful?

Up until now, it was always a response to my “I love you” or because one of her siblings said it…but this time was different…no duty, no obligation… just a simple ‘I love you’ from the heart, because she wanted to… If my Heavenly Father’s heart sings the way mine did yesterday to hear those 3 precious words, I definitely need to tell Him more often…what utter joy!

Something is clearly changing with Abby… her relationship with all of us is getting easier and easier. She doesn’t guard her ‘space’ like she used to… she doesn’t mind when our arms touch…tonight, Scott and I were on the way to an adoption dinner, and she put her hand on my knee while she watched me change purses.

When it was time to go, she was preoccupied with her coloring and when I asked her for a hug, she told me “In a minute.” We were in a hurry, so after a couple of tries, Scott and I started moving toward the door and all of a sudden, Abby jumped up and came running… “Howg…Howg” (that’s how she says hug!).

I have learned, first hand, one of the most important lessons I may ever learn…no wall is too strong…too big…too impenetrable to withstand the constant flow of God’s amazing love when we allow it to pour out through our words and actions.

What a wonderful 4 months…and we’ve only just begun!

P.S. Several of you have asked about the soccer photos...in a day or so, I'll do a post on my camera and how I shoot them.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Teachable Moments In The News

As I sit and wait for my oldest son to finish soccer practice, I listen to a lot of AM radio. Of course, it’s the conservative AM radio station, but in the evenings, the host is more funny and sarcastic than he is serious, like the day time hosts.

I was listening to him tonight discuss the story of Governor Spitz*er and the call girl, Ashley Du*pree. It appears that she has discovered the error of her ways and is attempting to turn her life around. For her sake, I hope she does, it’s really heartbreaking to see anyone living such an empty life…the same for the governor.

Well, the host of the radio program I was listening to was less than gracious… He sounded like a high school/college boy talking about a girl with a bad reputation… But as I listened to him, it dawned on me that as mothers, this is a great teachable moment, if you have teenage daughters. I will probably even discuss this with my 10 year old, in a much more subtle way…

I think our daughters need to hear how men talk about women, or boys about girls, who behave as Ms. Du*pree chose too… I am not holding her responsible for the governor’s choices, only hers. But sadly, in situations like this, it is primarily the woman/girl who takes the brunt of the nasty, condescending remarks. The radio host said, "This is just not the kind of girl you take home to meet mom." I think that sums up men's attitudes about women who behave like this young woman did. As I sat listening to him, I thought, "Why would any girl or woman want to be known this way?"

The other opportunity that we have right now is to teach them what an empty life this is…

If you read some of the recent interviews with her, she appears to be a girl with hopes and dreams who simply stepped off onto the wrong path… She ran away from home at 17, she starting drinking and partying and one night stands soon led to a life of prostitution. Often all it takes is one step onto the slippery slope… And even she recognizes her part in the destruction of the lives of the governor's family.

As I said, Mackenzie is only 10, so I’m not sure how I’ll use this yet. I may just file it away for future use… Or, in a few years, I’m sure they’ll be another story… It wasn’t that long ago that we had Monica Lewinsky…

But I do believe that we need to make the most of these teachable moments with our children… Drug related incidents in the news, accidents realted to alcohol, even Oprah (who I'm not a fan of) has the occassional story that is worth having our kids watch, like the young man who was addicted to methamphetamine, it made a huge impact on my children...

We need to be on the lookout for anything that will open the doors of conversation with our children and allow them to see that living for the moment will often lead to heartache and destruction.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Only In God's Economy... When 66 Equals 68!

Just to let you know...I made sure I had Nick's permission to tell this story...

We’ve known for some time that we needed to make an educational change for Nick, we just didn’t know what we needed to do. There are a lot of factors playing into this decision, but it came to a head a few weeks ago and I knew it was serious when Nick asked to make the change this year, instead of waiting until the new school year…

Scott and I had already been praying about what to do next year when he starts high school, Nick, much like his mother, just does better in a smaller environment. But with the request to change this year, we really needed wisdom… James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him,” so we asked for wisdom to know what was best for Nick.

We had 3 options…leave him in his current school until the end of the year, or starting in January, either home school him or send him to private school. As the weeks went by, it was clear to us that it would not be best to leave him in the public school…but how to decide between home schooling and private school? We trusted that God would lead us step by step to the right decision...

I called the private school and that door was immediately closed…there were no openings, with no guarantees for next year either. So that seemed to leave only home schooling…

But I happened to mention to a friend that the private school was full and it turns out that her family is friends with the principal’s family and they have adopted from China also. She made a phone call and was able to explain our situation and he was willing to at least talk to us, but with no promise that he could help us…they were full afterall!

As we sat and talked with him, he commented that he only allows 66 students…3 sections of 22…but after running some computer models, he discovered that he could take two more students for a total of 68! And sure enough, a few days later, he called to offer Nick one of the spots!

Now I don’t know about you, but every time I multiply 22 x 3, I get 66…I never get 68!

The day he called I was with Nick and just like the day with Zack, when he won his new IPOD, I couldn’t stop the tears… I had prayed so hard for guidance and confirmation…how much clearer could it be because who but God could somehow make 66 really be 68?

I loved Nick’s response though, he said, “Mom…Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish…I think he can handle 66 to 68!”

How right he is… God is in the business of handling impossible situations. I am so thankful for the opportunity that He has given to Nick at this school, but I am even more thankful that Nick was able to so clearly see God at work on His behalf!

Monday, November 17, 2008

A Weekend of Soccer

I love going to Zack's soccer tournaments and Scott is so gracious to give me this pleasure... I admit, I should probably insist that he go, at least once in a while, but I LOVE having the time with Zack, I don't get that very often so my wonderful husband sends me off and stays behind to man the house (literally)!

Just a side note, he even cleans while I'm gone! And I'm not one of you amazing wives who has it all together and leaves the freezer fully stocked with meals, so he has to cook too! AND...drumroll...he painted Abby's fingernails (he might have a word with me for telling you that...LOL, but I thought it was so sweet!)!!

So, this weekend was Zack's first tournament with his new team. Last spring he was invited to play on his club's Premier team and I admit, I was pretty nervous about this first tournament... This is soccer at a whole new level...the kids are way bigger...and they hit HARD!

But I was so proud of Zack and several of the other young men who also moved up...they really rose to the occassion! It was a new challenge for this soccer mom's photography skills too... The action is so much faster...but by the 3rd game, I was starting to get the hang of it... So, tonight I'm just going to post some of my favorite photos from the weekend! I'll start with my favorites of Zack, but I've got to throw in some of his teammates too... They are amazing soccer players! So much fun to watch! Oh, they went 1-1-1 for the tournament, but they played great!

Tomorrow I'll tell you a story that is only possible in God's economy...when 66 really equals 68!

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As an added bonus this weekend, one of the other families, who were with us in China, were at the same tournament! Their son's team won their championship! Congratulations Joel-B! Zack and I got to have dinner with them on Saturday night, it was so great to get to see them again!

See you tomorrow...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Small Moments That Take Your Breath Away...

I’ve discovered that the adoption journey is full of small moments that take your breath away… Usually they’re not major milestones, just moments in time that take you completely by surprise with the intensity of the emotions they produce, like…

Abby’s first smile on Gotcha Day when I was convinced that her heart was breaking in two…

The first time she called me “mommy”…

The first time she reached for me to comfort her instead of one of her siblings…

The look on her face when she realized I was adding her picture to the family photo table…

When she invited me to push her on the swing for the first time…or to shampoo her hair for her…

When the experience of new discovery lights up her eyes…

Or when she turns and catches you watching her in her ‘first ever’ movie and rewards you with a BIG grin and you know you’ve hit the jackpot of new experiences…

As a biological mom, too many firsts are taken for granted. Life is measured more by major milestones – the first smile, the first tooth, the first word, the first step… But I think we miss too many ‘small’ moments in the busyness of life.

Tonight blessed me with series of the small moments that took my breath away…

The first came after a friend of mine sent Abby a ‘Welcome Bag’ of goodies…fun coloring activities, snuggly warm pj’s and a princess puzzle! Abby was so excited!

She couldn’t wait to work the new puzzle, but she quickly became frustrated because it was harder than any she had done so far. So I offered to help her… But her sweet big sister jumped in and offered to help instead. For the first time ever, Abby was not satisfied…she wanted mommy’s help!

We had fun and it was such a sweet time with the three of us doing the puzzle together. Afterwards, Mackenzie and I crawled back into the big chair to watch the beginning of a Disney movie. Even though there’s room in the chair for all 3 of us, Abby usually sits on the floor. To get all three of us in the chair, you have to snuggle together.

Abby will sit with me in this chair sometime, but it’s more like two strangers in a movie theater…she’s very careful not to bump my arm or sit too close.

But tonight was different, she wanted in the chair with me and Mackenzie and she was willing to snuggle in next to me. For the longest time, I didn’t want to breathe…I was so afraid she was going to realize that she was snuggled up next to me and pull away…but she didn’t. Instead, she just sat and chattered with me the entire time… For the first time ever, she told me about something in ChongQing…a puppy who had a ponytail!

I so hated for the moment to end, but I had to go get Zack from soccer practice. I turned and gave Mackenzie a hug and when I turned towards Abby, she was already waiting with her arms up for a hug! Even now, the memory still takes my breath away!

Adoption is not an easy journey. It requires a selflessness and a love that I just don’t have on my own… In fact, I didn’t have it when Abby came into our lives, but God is working it out in my heart more and more each day. But it’s the moments that take your breath away that make it all worthwhile… Some how God stretches out their impact and uses them to carry you to the next breathless moment! Taking you from one day to the next, from one baby step to another…and before you know it, you and your child are falling in love with each other…not just the idea of each other…but with the real person!

What a sweet, sweet blessing this is! A couple of my blogging buddies have reminded me that it is National Adoption Month so I want to encourage you, if the idea of adoption has ever passed on the outer circles of your heart’s radar…pay attention…God just might be calling you to adopt one of His precious, precious treasures! If He is…take the leap of faith and go for it…you won’t be sorry…you’ll just be blessed!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Catching Up...

Wow...I have a little catching up to do! After posting about our trip to Africa for a week, I've missed alot of what's been happening with the family... I think I'll let pictures tell most of the stories!

Here's a funny from Zack...the other day we were riding in the car and he was griping about his dad's choice of music, Vivaldi! He commented that he guessed it was good that they at least had music back then and all of a sudden a thought occurred to me... I said, "Zack, you do realize that Beethoven, Vivaldi, Bach...they all lived long before your dad and I were born? Right?!" His response, "Well, I thought so!" AHHHH!! We're ancient to him!

Ok, so going back to Halloween...we went to our Fall Festival at church! Of course Abby went as a princess! Nick intended to go as James Bond, but when we got to church, everyone said to him, "Oh, you must be your dad!" So much for James Bond!!

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A funny picture...Abby loves popsicles, but she gets cold, so she eats them with her gloves on!

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I don't think the colors have ever been more beautiful than this year...I'm so sorry that they are almost gone now, but I took this photo from our front yard... Nick laughs at me because I drive down the road marveling at the trees... I'll probably say, at least 10 times in the average car ride... "I hate to keep saying this...but the colors are just so beautiful."

Finally, the other day, he said "Mom, I don't think anyone else is driving down the road talking about the trees like you are!" It was pretty funny when my mom came to visit this weekend and one of the first things she mentioned was how beautiful the trees were driving up here!

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We discovered last week that Abby LOVES to play in the leaves. We don't have any trees in our front yard, so we decided to rake the few leaves from the trees along the street, into our yard. The problem was, the rakes were locked under the house, and I didn't know the combination... These were our tools for raking! 2 brooms and a car windshield scraper...hey, at least we're creative...

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The girls decided to fill Zack's shirt with leaves...

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This was the result! He's really a good sport!!

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Next Abby decided to write her name in leaves...she's quite creative!

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Trying to learn to whistle on a blade of grass...

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Our beautiful girls!!

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The next day, our yard was full of the neighborhood kids and I think Abby was a little overwhelmed, she kept coming inside to see where I was, so I finally asked her if she would like to go out front and do the leaves again...BIG smile! Of course, once we got them all raked and the olther kids realized what we were doing, they wanted in on the action... But I got a few minutes of fun with Abby...Enjoy the pictures!

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Big Sister...

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Big Brother...(Nick wouldn't let me take his picture, I think he's like my friend's kids, to borrow her hilarious term...he has blogophobia...check out Miles and Miles to Mylei)

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And finally, friends...

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It's been a fun couple of weeks...Abby continues to be such a blessing to our family!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Children Outside The Gate...Seeing God BIG, part 7

Children outside the gate who captured my heart...

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A young man outside the gate who captured Nick's...

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It started with the grandmother who needed money for her children to go to school… And then, a ride past a garbage dump where families, with small children, actually lived… I watched them pick up a bottle of some sort, off of the dump and actually drink from it…some of them live in houses made of garbage…

It grew with stories of small children who are orphaned and caring for their siblings…they live in mud huts and during rainy season, you can find them in their hut trying to hold up the walls…

It became overwhelming as I learned of a little girl at the orphanage who was found under a tree sitting alone, unable to talk, unable to walk, unable to crawl, her hips, pelvic bones and back distorted from sitting, her body the size of a 5 month baby, and no one to care for her.

From the community reports and the condition of her teeth they determined that she was two years old…2, but the size of a 5 month old. Her family had all died one by one, the people in the community who had taken her had died, and the people who had then taken her in could no longer cope so they left her to herself…x-rays showed that she had been eating dirt to satisfy her hunger…

These are the children outside the gate...children, who unlike the children inside the gate of the orphanage, had no guarantee of safety...of a food...of love...of the most basic necessities of life...things that no child should ever wonder if they'll have enough of... These children burdened my heart...

One afternoon, two days before we were to leave, I was taking a break when I noticed a young girl approaching the gate to the orphanage. School had just let out and as she approached, I quickly took a couple of photos…she was the picture of all that my heart was hurting for…

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I went inside to ask if it would be ok to go and talk to her and learned that she had come to pick up her brother who was attending preschool at the orphanage…I was so excited to have even a moment with a child who lived outside the gate.

But that’s when it happened…utter confusion…I helped the little boy out to his sister, but then a construction truck pulled up, wanting to leave the grounds of the orphanage. There was no one around, so I decided to try and open the big gate for them…

What I didn’t know was that the gate had been hit weeks before and knocked off it’s track and it was too expensive to have it fixed. So I planted my feet and pushed…it wouldn’t budge…so I pushed harder…unfortunately, it had rained the night before and suddenly, my foot went one way and my knee in the opposite direction…I’ve never felt such excruciating pain…

At that point, one of the workers at the orphanage saw me and he ran to finish opening the gate, but for some reason, he didn’t help me…he opened the gate, and the truck driver, who couldn’t see me, proceeded forward…frantically, I managed to pull myself out of the way, but I couldn’t get up and the worker left…

So I prayed…I pleaded that nothing was seriously wrong, that somehow God would get me home without too much pain, that I would be able to finish this trip (I was NOT going to the hospital in Africa!).

I pulled myself up and started to walk…every few steps, my knee gave way, so I knew there was something seriously wrong, but at least there was no pain…

I learned later, from my orthopedist, that with the amount of swelling that I had, there should have been pain…I didn’t have serious pain until I got home, even though my leg was the size of a tree trunk…

But it was this injury, that I know, for certain God used to lead us to Abby…

When I returned home, the last of our paperwork had come back and all I needed to do was the final authentication in Washington D.C. We could have been logged in by the end of November, but we would have been logged in with an agency that didn’t receive Abby’s file. I was so frustrated by my knee…trying to decide what to do, to leave it or fix it… I was overwhelmed by our trip to Africa and I had no peace about the agency we had originally signed on with…

So, each day, I would use my knee as an excuse not to complete the final steps for our dossier. In December I had surgery to repair my knee and several days, after my surgery, I was sitting in my favorite chair, with my leg elevated. With nothing to do but wrestle over what to do about my lack of peace about our agency, I decided to search the internet for Waiting Children.

There was one agency that I had password for, so I decided to see if they had a new list… And they did! I will never forget seeing Abby’s face for the first time…she was listed as Dani… her eyes captured my heart…they were beautiful, but they looked so sad.

In that moment, I said, “Lord, is she ours?” And then I laughed at how ridiculous that thought was… But, I just couldn’t let it go…so I challenged Him… “Ok, fine…we can’t even ask about her right now, we aren’t with this agency…if she’s ours, then You’re going to have to move some hearts.” I figured someone would scoop her up and she would never make it to the time when they opened applications up to non-clients.

As usual though, God knew different!

The woman on the hill…the girl at the gate…a torn ACL…surgery…Abby!

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

God works ALL things…messed up schedules…children in need…broken gates…torn ACL’s…ALL things together for good…

God weaves every single detail of our lives into His amazing plan and He accomplishes His purpose...in our case, bringing home Abby…not one ounce of our suffering is ever wasted!

I prayed to see God BIG in Africa and I did see God big at the time, but looking back now, when I have the benefit of seeing more of the picture…I am overwhelmed at how BIG God is…at how active He is in the details of our lives…He is there, every single day, in every single moment…we just have to watch for Him…

It has been such a blessing to tell you these stories...to remember...to once again be filled with gratitude with the depth of God's love and care for us.

I'll take a break for a day or two and then I'll catch you on some really fun photos from the last week...

Our God is an AWESOME God!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

In The Community...Seeing God BIG, Part 6

One of the things that amazed me was how Dr. E., the Director of the Orphanage, teaches the children to care for those less fortunate than themselves…orphans, who may have watched their parents die from AIDS…many who have been enslaved and abused…many who have truly known hunger…caring for those less fortunate than themselves.

She is walking them through Matthew 25:35-36, giving them opportunities to care for each group of people listed in these verses… “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me…'

One thing she did was take them out into the community to interview different families, and then they chose 14 families to ‘adopt’ to help care for…

As we packed to go on our trip, we all tried to pack things that we thought would be useful for the children at the orphanage and the community… clothing, craft items, etc. While I was deciding what to take to the community, I found a lady on ebay who was selling a huge lot of clothing from her consignment shop, it would have been perfect to take to the community…one box came, but the second one never arrived. I was so frustrated, so I ended up having my boys go through their closets and give me anything that was in good condition that they weren’t using…

My cousin, S. reminded me… “Sharla, you need boy’s clothes more than you need those other clothes…remember, God knows what you need to take.”

So the day arrived when we were to bring our things to the orphanage…I took them into the office and explained to one of the staff what had happened and that I hoped she could use the boy’s clothes, they were all young men’s clothing…no smaller sizes.

As she began pulling things out, her eyes welled up. She looked at me and said, “We were short bigger boy’s clothing…we didn’t know what we were going to do about Christmas.” God in the details again…He tells us not to worry about what we’ll wear! S. was right…I didn’t need adult clothing…they needed young men’s clothing and God orchestrated the details to provide for those precious young men.

Well, the other things we brought were sorted and packaged, into large garbage bags, to take the families in the community on our last day there. This was a very hard day for me…I had so been looking forward to going into the community again, but on the day before, I had torn my ACL in my right knee… I wasn’t in a lot of pain, but my leg looked like a tree stump, it was so swollen (I’ll tell you more of this story tomorrow because it is the story that brought us to Abby…)

Many of the homes in the community were not accessible by car, so we had over a one mile hike, through really rough terrain to get to the house we were supposed to go to… My mom, who is a nurse, was not pleased with the stubborn streak in her daughter… She thought I should stay behind, and really she was right…I could have fallen and hurt myself much worse…plus, at the time, we didn’t know exactly what was wrong with my knee…I wouldn’t let them take me to a hospital in Africa. So, I probably could have done even more damage to me my knee…

But, my heart was aching to be a part of this and desires like that don’t come from ourselves…it would have been much easier to sit down and wait it out back at the orphanage… But I went instead…

As I said, the terrain was very rough and I was very slow…but everyone was really patient with me and we eventually made it to our first house…

What a blessing to meet this mom and to watch Nick present her with this bag of clothing, shoes, and other things we had brought to her…

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One of our team members asked her what her favorite verse was, and through our translator, she told us, Psalm 23 and she said, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” I shall not want…but look around you…you have nothing…what faith…what sweet understanding of God’s provision…contentment is just not about the stuff!

And then she said, “I know that God is holding me in the palm of His hand because you came here today.” I will never forget those words…that our simple little offering could be such a source of encouragement and assurance to her…her words spoke volumes to me about God’s faithfulness…about how God can use the littlest thing…that all we have to do is be a willing vessel…

Later that evening, the preschoolers had made cards for each one of us… Each card was unique… As I walked up to receive my card, I had no idea of the blessing I was about to receive…

On the front of my card was a little hand print and the words, “I am in the palm of God’s hand.” The very words that had gripped my heart earlier that afternoon, were written on a card, personally addressed to me! Who but God?

I think if I hadn’t been in a room full of people, I might have just sat down in the floor and cried… I was tired, my leg was hurting and I was dreading the 40 hour trip that lay ahead of us… But God wanted me to know, I was in the palm of His hand…

You know, God speaks to us all the time…we just have to be watching and listening. And if we are, He speaks to us and shows Himself in ways that we really can’t miss… The things that happened during our 10 days in Africa could not be attributed to coincidence…the odds are practically impossible…

Just like the odds that Jesus fulfills every single prophecy in Scripture…but He does…God is not a God who is hemmed in by odds…by the limitations of time and space…God can reach across eternity and speak to our hearts in a way that is personal and intimate…in a way that we really can’t miss, if we’re just waiting and watching.

Well…one more day…tomorrow I’ll tell you about how God touched my heart for the children outside the gate and how that burden, in many ways, led to my knee injury and eventually to Abby…

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Special Team Member...Seeing God Big, Part 5

Quick note...you are probably noticing that I use first initials when telling stories about many people...unless I have their specific permission to print their name on the blog, I try to be respectful of their privacy, so please pardon all of the first initials in this story...

Well, I hadn’t planned to share this part of the story, until a special friend left me a comment on the first day, the story of the glasses… The story that she left, I didn't share it because I didn’t know… I was blown away...it made the story even more powerful... I’m going to copy her story here and then I’m going to tell you another story, that I have her permission to tell…

First, if you didn’t read One Year Ago, Seeing God Big, part 1, you might want to read it to get the whole story…now, this is what our special team member wrote to me in the comments…

Sharla,

Ahhhh, but you forgot to tell the very best part of the story. In my own etes.

It was me, the Jewish one, the only non-Christian, traveling with all of you who said....

I said..."Dear G-d, If it is true what they say about you showing up BIG in Africa then show me a Miracle right this very second. On second thought, nevermind. I already believe in you completely and wholeheartedly.

Then I said... Jesus, if YOU are who YOU say you are then YOU PERFORM A MIRACLE right now this very second by helping us find the pair of glasses that this woman needs so badly yet I know do not exist in this box.I asked for this "Miracle" just to see if what you all say is true - is true. No offense.

I said this prayer in complete silence next to E, and as she opened the box, I held my breath. I said "E., you know what would be a miracle? If these glasses were in this box. That would be an absolute miracle is if the glasses you are holding (the very first pair picked up from the thousands in the box) are 9.75R and 10.25L."And they were!

That's my side of the miracle story.

I LOVE YOU!!! P...

P. was a very special part of our trip…she is an amazing woman with a heart of gold!

On the day we headed home, we had a 5 hour bus trip before our long plane ride…about 1 ½ hours out from Johannesburg, we stopped for a bathroom break and quick snack. When we got ready to leave, the driver discovered a problem with the bus. I don’t know all of the details, but it had something to do with leaking oil…

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So, we prayed…the men tinkered…and we prayed some more…the leaders of our group called for backup…but now we were in danger of missing our flight.

At one point, another team member, L. got off the bus with P. and invited her to walk around the bus with her and lay hands on the bus as they prayed for it…I’m so glad that someone else’s faith is so much bigger than mine sometimes!

There is absolutely no explanation as to why that bus started…nothing changed…there was no oil to replace what was missing…the only explanation is just God.

As we started off again, I could tell by the looks on the faces of a couple of the men, who had done this trip before, that they were concerned about something…so I asked.

Apparently, the area we were headed into was known for bandits and they were notorious for hijacking buses…not exactly the place you’d want to break down. So at that point, I started praying hard…I wasn’t worried…just being proactive! I had an unbelievable sense of peace!

We made it to the airport without incident and home safely! But once again, God showed Himself BIG to P. and the rest of us...

In Luke 15, Jesus tells 3 different parables of someone who lost something…the shepherd who left his 99 sheep to find the 1 who was lost, the woman who lost her coin and searched to find it, the father who’s son rejected him and wished him dead, taking and wasting his inheritance…each time, the one who lost something, rejoices when their treasure is found…

In each parable, before our faith in Jesus, we are the one who is lost…we are God’s treasure and He delights to pursue us and find us…Heaven rejoices when just one prodigal child returns to the Father…

God is so pleased to reveal Himself to us…as P’s testimony of the glasses shows and the story of the bus clearly demonstrates, all we have to do is ask!

Tomorrow, I will tell you about a blessing that rocked my heart to the core…this one was just for me and of course the ones I tell the story too!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Seeing God Big, Part 4

Before I introduce you to A, I just had to tell you that I took Abby and Mackenzie to see High School Musical 3 today. It was Abby's first movie and I was a little concerned about how she would do...she's only been home 3 months, her language is progressing miraculously, but I didn't know how it would go over to sit for 2 hours in a theater...she LOVED it, she wanted to go back in when we were done! She was so cute sitting on the edge of her chair...every once in a while, she would look over at Mackenzie and I and just grin! Now that was a really FUN first!

Ok...now for the story of A

To this day, to think of A, still takes my breath away…such beauty, such joy in the face of such heartache…

Isaiah 61:1-3 says, “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”

These verses are a prophecy of the ministry of Jesus…the first time Jesus spoke in the synagogue, in Luke 4, He began His ministry by reading this passage…

A is a beautiful picture of the truth of these verses…that Jesus really does bring healing and restoration...

Before A came to live at the orphange, both of her parents died and she was living with her grandmother. The grandmother knew that she would soon pass away, so she brought Anastasia to the opening of the orphanage. A begged her to complete the paperwork so that when she passed, she could live safely at the orphanage.

Sadly though, family members did not respect her grandmother's wishes and when she died, they took A to live where she was horribly abused…the men would press wood chips into her feet and make her dance for them at night…among other things.

Eventually, she was able to escape and returned to her grandmother’s home where her older sister was now trying to take care of her other siblings…A begged her to take her to the orphanage.

On our last day there, there was a dedication ceremony for a new dorm that was being built for older girls and many of the children performed for us. A was one of them… In the morning, she danced with a group…

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But that evening, she had prepared a special ballet that she wanted to share with us... She danced with a basket that represented her basket of joy that she had found since coming to the orphanage and meeting Jesus! As she danced around the room, she scattered her joy on all of us because she wanted us to share in her joy with her…

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Even now my heart and my eyes well up as I think of this beautiful child who had suffered so much…Who but God could heal a heart that had been so horribly damaged? Heal and restore it to the point that the very thing that had been used to torture her, dance, was now her instrument of sharing her hope and her joy?

At this time I didn’t know about Abby…but the image of this child, her joy and restoration, would be the source of great hope and courage as we prayed about adopting an older child.

A reminded me that God is far more powerful than circumstances…that He can heal the most broken heart…that He truly does bring beauty from the ashes…gladness instead of mourning…praise instead of despair… A is growing into an oak of righteousness who beautifully displays the splendor and glory of Jesus!

I feel compelled to add this...I don't know what you're facing in your life right now...what seems beyond hope or repair...but NOTHING is impossible with God! I didn't come to Christ until I was much older...I was empty, I had tried to find life...purpose...joy...in a million places and while they provided something for a time, it never lasted, and then I was on to the next thing.

It wasn't until I came into a relationship with Jesus that something changed. I discovered a joy that wasn't based on circumstances, peace that didn't disappear with every storm...I found forgiveness and I found purpose...and to this day...10 1/2 years later...it hasn't disappeared...I haven't moved on to something different.

That's what A discovered...I don't know that I've ever seen anyone that reflected it so vividly...In A…I saw God BIG!!

Tomorrow, I hope to tell you about a very special member of our team, but I want to wait until I'm sure I have permission...

Monday, November 3, 2008

Seeing God Big, Part 3

(Please drop over to Leslie's blog, her daughter is Susannah, many were praying for Susannah as they adopted her, she was very sick with a serious heart condition...well, Leslie's dad fell 25 feet from a ladder, please, please pray for him.)

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The first day at the orphanage, we had a birthday party. I love the way Dr. E., the Director of the orphanage, does birthday parties…The birthday child sits in the middle of the circle and each of the older children come up and speak a blessing over their 'brother' or 'sister'… It was during these blessings that I first saw C…

He brought his Bible up with him and read the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) over the birthday boy…he spoke with such authority…poise…it was powerful to see this young man stand so boldly in front of his peers and all of these strangers.

In the coming days, we got to know C better…he is truly an amazing young man.

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C’s mother died and he never knew his father…He was passed from family member to family member and finally to strangers where he was a slave herding cattle. At one point, he ran way to live as a street kid in one of the big cities…but it was too much, so he decided to try and find his father.

He went to the last place he had heard that his father lived, only to discover that he also had died. An aunt, who had 8 children of her own, finally brought him to the orphanage.

Dr. E said that C quickly discovered a love for God’s word and now he loves to teach in the orphanage…the problem was, C had an eye condition that made reading more difficult for him.

Well, one of our team members B., flies helicopters…and a while back, B.’s wife had given him a large print Bible. Since he's a pilot and has perfect eyesight, he had just put it on the shelf...it had never been used. As he was packing for his trip to Africa, his wife brought him the Bible and suggested he take it with him, she said he would probably find someone who needed it…

Well, I’m sure you see where this story is headed…On Sunday at church, B. noticed that C was having a hard time reading his Bible…he had found the person who needed his large print Bible! Once again, God provided BIG in the details!

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Since then, money has been raised and C was able to have surgery that significantly improved his eyesight...

But let me ask you again, who but God? One young man, thousands of miles away, one pilot with a misfit gift, and one wife who answered the stirring in her heart to send the Bible...
God knows and cares about ALL of our needs...

It was such a blessing to watch C…to know the heartache and hardship that he had lived through, and to see his joy, I'm sure you can see it in the pictures…he is a special young man!

Tomorrow, I’ll introduce you to A…bring your Kleenex for this one!