To The Lake...

The kids and I are off to somewhere else in the south to hang out at the lake with my best friend and her kids for a few days (the dads get to join us for a short time too!)! We do this every summer and we have a blast! I'm excited because this will be Abby's first trip to the lake...

She's not too sure of the lake, she thinks it's "too big." But if her mama, who is afraid of water that she can't see to the bottom of (I'm really afraid of the creatures in the water) can jump in and swim, I bet she can too!

I don't think I'll have internet connection, so hopefully in a week I'll have some fun pictures... Then I'll have 3 days to pack and I'll be on my way to Africa!!!

Have a great week!!

Behind The Battles and Bad Behavior...

So, as I said yesterday, this post has been percolating in my heart (and head) for a few days. Several instances, not all involving my family, have stirred it up and a situation with Abby the other night really brought it to the forefront...

I need to start back when we first came home, almost a year ago (WOW, time flies!)... We had only been home a few days when Abby got really angry and threw one of her books, that we bought in China, down the stairs.

As an experienced mother of 3 children, my natural inclination was to "handle" it... Under normal circumstances, my attitude would have been, "No child gets away with that kind of behavior in our house." Our biological children will tell you, we expect respect and you never throw something in anger in our home.

But thankfully, the Holy Spirit seemed to slow me down and I realized that there was much more behind that thrown book than disrespect and anger... There was a child whose heart was breaking... A child who had left everything she knew and everyone she loved and just needed to grieve and grief isn't always neat, whether your 6 or 60. That morning, I pulled her onto my lap and she started to cry... The book ended up back on the shelf and our first outburst of grief and anger was safely behind us...

More followed in the coming months... A morning when she refused to get ready for school... Another morning when she refused to eat her breakfast... A Saturday afternoon when she refused to put away her clothes... But each time, instead of reacting with a need to "set the record straight," the Holy Spirit has reminded me of the tender, little heart that lies behind the battles and bad behavior.

A heart that has been hurt beyond anything most of us will ever know... A heart that has said 'goodbye' more times than any heart should ever have to say... A heart that has been afraid...uncertain...frustrated and broken. It takes time to heal a heart that has been hurt like that and it needs lots of love and tenderness.

Because of the past year, I am learning more and more to think about the hearts behind the battles and bad behavior...whether it's my children... a rude person at the store... or bullies at school... The bad behavior is simply a symptom of something broken and hurting on the inside.

Now, I'm not in any way suggesting that we forget the discipline and simply "love" them... To love them IS to discipline them when it's appropriate... But as I said the other day, discipline is consistent, day to day training... It is not "making your point" or "showing who's boss."

What would happen if we allowed the words of 1 Corinthians 13 to shape our discipline? I've replaced the word 'love' with the word 'discipline' because Hebrews 11:6 says, "The Lord disciplines those He loves..." discipline is a natural overflow of our love, and it should always be characterized by God's love... So discipline should look something like this...

"Christ like discipline is patient and kind...It does not boast (or lord it over others), it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Christ like discipline does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Isn't that such a picture of what God's discipline looks like in our lives? I wish I could say that my discipline always looks like that...but you know...it looks like it more today than it did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow, it will look like it a little bit more... Baby steps are still steps and thankfully, my Abba Father is patient...kind...not easily angered...always hopes and always perseveres....

And we'll move a little closer to Christ like discipline when we remember the heart behind the battles and bad behavior.

Another Great Recipe...Crockpot Mexican Chicken!

This is so ridiculously easy and so good...my family loves it! It's one of the rare meals when Abby goes back for seconds...

1 Bag of frozen chicken breast tenderloins (you can use whole chicken breasts, but the tenderloins, the size of chicken fingers makes it easier)

1 Bottle of Kraft Honey Catalina Dressing

1 Pack of taco seasoning...

Mix the dressing and taco seasoning together...dump it all in the crockpot and cook all day.

Take the chicken out and shred it, add the sauce back and serve with tortillas, like a burrito... or over chips like nachos, or on a salad. Add your favorite toppings and you're good to go. I know it sounds like a weird combination, taco seasoning and honey catalina dressing, but it is YUMMY!

Just FYI, Tostitos has a new whole grain chip that is AWESOME... I like them better than the regular corn chips!

Stay tuned tomorrow night for a serious adoption post... "Behind The Battles and Bad Behavior..." This one has been percolating for a couple of days...

A Great Read!

I just finished reading a really great book, but it will scare the socks off of you! It's called The Blood of Lambs by Kamal Saleem, it is a TRUE story!! I've copied in the book description from Amazon so you can read what it's about.

"The Blood of Lambs reveals the true inside story of the making and mind-set of a Muslim terrorist. Though his ties with terrorism were severed more than twenty years ago, it was not until 9/11, when radical Muslims rained terror on American shores, that Kamal Saleem stepped out of the shadows and revealed his true identity. Today, he is a different kind of warrior. He now stands on the wall and shouts to America, "Open your eyes and fight the danger that lives among you."As the terrible fruit of Kamal's early life in jihad screams from today's headlines, he courageously puts his life on the line to defend America, the country he now calls home.

Kamal Saleem (a pseudonym) was born into a large Sunni Muslim family in Lebanon. As a boy of seven fleeing a beating from teenage thugs in ethnically divided Beirut, Kamal took refuge in a mosque where he met radicals of the Muslim Brotherhood. Playing on the jihadist dreams instilled in Kamal by his mother, these imams took him to a terror training camp run by Yasser Arafat's Fatah faction.

Maturing into a terrorist's terrorist, Kamal's journey in jihad took him to countries such as Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Lebanon, and Iraq. Training terrorists from around the globe, he ruthlessly pursued Umma—one world under Islam—by any means necessary. But while infiltrating the United States, a tragic incident embroiled Kamal in a clash of cultures and forced him to reevaluate his understanding of truth and faith.

Kamal is now an American citizen and has embraced the Christian faith he once sought to destroy. He consults with federal law enforcement agencies and speaks on the dangers of radical Islam at venues across the country, including Stanford University, the University of California at Berkeley, and the U.S. Air Force Academy. Kamal lives with his American family in an undisclosed location somewhere in America. "

I highly recommend this book, all of America needs to read it!

Two Great Recipes... Pizza Casserole & Crockpot Barbecue

Hi All... I think most of my readers are moms and if you're like me, I get so tired of cooking the same old things (my family probably gets tired of it too)... So I thought I'd add a new category to my blog and start posting recipes when I find a really good one... If you have one you'd like to share, post it in the comments and I'll put it in a blog post in the near future.

With my trip to Africa just about 2 weeks away, I've been trying to plan and cook some freezer meals to leave for Scott, to make things a little easier for him. In the last 2 days, I've cooked two great ones... I just double the recipe, that way I have dinner for the evening and one to freeze. I think I'll keep this up, even after I come back from Africa. If you have any great freezer meals that you'd like to share this time, I'd be really appreciative (and so would Scott!)...

The first is for pizza casserole (I found this on www.allrecipes.com) This is so yummy, everyone LOVED it!

1 lb ground beef
15 oz jar of pizza sauce
1/2 pound cooked rotini pasta
3 cups shredded mozarella cheese (save 1 cup for topping)
1 package sliced pepperoni (cut the slices into quarters)
2 mediums onions, chopped (optional, I left this out since my kids don't like onions)
Minced garlic to taste (I added a heaping tablespoon... I mean HEAPING!)

Brown ground beef with garlic and onions
After ground beef is thoroughly browned, add all other ingredients and put into a casserole dish.
Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes... At about the 30 minute mark, add the additional cheese and finish cooking until melted.

If you freeze it, save the remaining cup of mozzarella until you're ready to cook it. Let it cool completely before freezing and to thaw it, put it in the frige overnight. You might have to set it out for a while to get it to thaw completely.


The second one that is so yummy is Crockpot Barbecue...

I used a whole pork loin cut into three sections so it would fit in the crockpot. Season with your favorite barbecue rub (ours is Stubbs), cover with water and cook on low all night and through the next day.

Rinse the pork, scrape off the fat and shred the pork. My kids love it dry, with no sauce, so I warm enough for their sandwiches in one pan and add barbecue sauce (again, Stubbs makes a great bbq sauce) for Scott and I, in another. We make pork sandwiches out of them.

Again, I doubled this recipe and froze about half of the shredded pork.

Next week I'm going to try lasagne manicotti... I'll let you know how it is!

What is it about the idea of grace?

What is it with some people and the idea of grace? One of the things that has amazed me about this process is all that God has taught me about grace. I parent with so much more grace than ever before and I am a better mother to our biological children because of Abby.

But when I say that to other people, or encourage them, with their adopted child, to parent with grace, I am almost inevitably met with, "But you have to set boundaries too." Or... "You can't have grace without discipline."

Why is it that people think that grace and boundaries or grace and discipline are mutually exclusive? From those responses, it would seem that people believe that if you are showing grace, you are not disciplining... That you are somehow letting the child "get away" with things that they shouldn't...

But if I look at the example of my Heavenly Father, His discipline is ALWAYS...100% of the time...WITHOUT fail...characterized by grace. Discipline and grace are NOT mutually exclusive...they are inextricably linked...or at least they should be...

Discipline should NEVER be administered without an abundance of grace. If God gave us what we deserve at any given moment, where would we be? I am so incredibly thankful that He doesn't feel the need to fix all that is wrong with me in a day, but that through His grace, He allows transformation to be a process...

This is a lesson that I have learned over and over this past year with Abby... I'm certain that people have thought that I let her "get away" with too much. But God has shown us clearly this year that for true change...for true obedience...a relationship is needed, so I've focused on building that relationship... not as her friend, but as her mother... Meeting her most basic needs time and time again... making sure that she is never hungry... being patient with so many little things because they were opportunities to build trust at the most basic level.

In many ways, even though she was 6 when we adopted her, Abby needed to be treated like a newborn for a time. She needed time to learn to trust us... Just because we had a piece of paper that said we were her parents, it didn't automatically make us her parents in her heart or mind, and we needed to respect her by respecting that...

As the adult, I expected the most basic degree of respect from her and there were certain boundaries that were not negotiable...but it has only been in the last few months that I have really been in the mode of teaching her what it means to respect me as her mother, with her attitude, her tone of voice, etc. And yet, that discipline (which by the way refers to consistent training, NOT punishment) has been applied with an abundance of grace...

And do you know, the walls are really coming down! If you were able to spend any time with us, you would see a really special relationship developing between the two of us. She comes to me for almost everything...even to untangle her Barbie's hair! She sits in bed with me if I'm sick, or just want to read... She comes looking for me when she can't find me... Tonight, my shoulder was hurting and she pinched and rubbed it with those precious little hands for over 1/2 an hour. I kept saying, "Abby, if you're hands are tired, it's ok to stop..." "I fine mommy!" And she is trusting me with her stories from China, like how she was afraid when the buildings would shake (the earthquake)... No one else gets to hear those stories...

Grace is reaping a hefty reward... Allowing her to grow into this relationship, not demanding that she treat me a certain way has been long and difficult at times...sometimes frustrating...even more times, heartbreaking... But to see where we are now is so worth it...

But if you're one of those who believe that grace and discipline are mutually exclusive, you may be thinking, "Well I bet that child is a terror..." Far from it... She is an utter joy! She is obedient... I rarely have to ask her to do anything more than once... A firm word easily corrects attitudes and actions and she is polite beyond description. It didn't happen overnight... but discipline...consistently and gently applied...with abundant grace and love has been the key.

When the walls of the levys in New Orleans came down...it wasn't the gale force winds of Katrina that did it... It was the constant pressure of the water against the walls... And that is what our love and grace can do for these precious children who have been through so much...it will, over time, bring down the walls of their hearts. I think the photos from the previous post really give you a picture of that...

Gotcha Day... One Year Ago Today!!

It's hard to believe that it has been one year since we met Abby... I will never forget that day and the days...weeks...months that followed. That one step of faith has blessed our lives in ways we never dreamed possible. Here is a summary of the year in pictures...

Meeting Abby... So sad, it was just heartbreaking...









First Smile... And what a beautiful smile it was!!



First Poundcake!!





First Bike (Thank you Mr and Mrs. G!!)



I just love this photo!!



First day of school...



Taking pictures at her first soccer game...



At the Apple Orchard...



First Lost Tooth...



Playing in the leaves...



First Gingerbread House...



First Christmas Morning...



"Baby Jesus Cold..."



Celebrating Our First Chinese New Year...



First Birthday Party...



First Reunion with Penny (her foster sister)



Photos In The Garden... (I'll post more of these on my photo blog)



Isn't she beautiful!

What an amazing year! She is such a blessing to our family and I'm so thankful that one year ago today, God moved mountains to bring her into our lives. Happy Gotcha Day Sweet Abby, I'm so glad you're a part of our Forever Family! We love you!!