I feel like I may start crying and never stop...

I guess that title makes you want to read a blog, but that's how I feel right now... I started the day reading Katie's latest posts on The Journey and now I just read Cory's on Cory In The Making... That's got to be one of the sweetest, most touching posts I've ever read on a blog...

It breaks my heart to think of people eating leaves...not having a clue where the next meal is coming from and offering up their choicest piece of fruit to a stranger (that's all in Cory's post), but that's what is happening in Swaziland...probably all over Africa. It seems that every way I turn, God is piercing my heart with the truth that there are people hungry in this world and it is up to the church to do something about it...

Both Katie and Cory are living, breathing examples of what it means to be the church as God intended...

I met Cory while I was in Swaziland... he's 23 and he can sing and play the guitar like nobody's business... He led us in worship one night after the day's activities were done and as Enoch would say, "wow...wow...wow."

Here's a picture of Cory and my mom... He grabbed hold of her heart too!

When Cory set off for Africa he booked his return flight for October, but his heart is to stay there as long as God leaves him there... He is an amazing young man with such a heart for God. Oh that we would all live our faith the way he and Katie are demonstrating...

If You Don't Do Anything Else Today...

If you don't do anything else today, go to this blog... the Journey and read her last two posts from August 26 and August 14. They're not short, they're not feel good...but they are real!

In a day or so, I'm going to post something that God put on my heart a few days ago and I wrote (typed really) it down. It is the question that MUST be asked... "Where is the Church?"

Have a great weekend...

"Trouble" (The Game!)

So I thought I'd take a break from posting about Africa and tell you a little about Abby... But first, when I was in Africa, Zack made the Varsity Soccer team and last night was his first game... He started and played the whole game... He played really well! It was a lot of fun... They won 5-1!!

It's pretty amazing...he went to a Ralph Lundy Soccer Camp this summer and it has completely changed his style of play. I think it was where his soccer coach was trying to get him to last spring, but it is amazing the difference it made... He reminded me that after the camp, where they played 10-11 hours a day that he was playing a whole new game... much more finesse... less, kill the player with the ball! Zack is a very aggressive defender... Here are a few photos from last night. The one downside to Varsity...they play later so it's hard to get good shots in such low light...

So Abby did GREAT while I was in Africa... I talked to her every other day and her little heart definitely softened more towards me while I was gone. The sweetest change though has been in her relationship with Scott... She sits in his lap... Holds his hand when we go places... And is becoming more and more free with her hugs! She lets him give her BIG hugs now!! The other night, she came in the office where Scott and I were talking and asked us for a hug, out of the blue... So sweet.

Abby and Mackenzie are at different schools now... Elementary and Middle school... So Abby gets home about 2 hours before Mackenzie. It has been some sweet time with Abby... we read a book and playing Trouble has become our afternoon routine... Let me tell you, this girl is COMPETITIVE... She shows no mercy... (And boy, she brings out the competitive streak in me too!) We are having so much fun though!

This is Abby after she lost to me...3 games to 2...she doesn't like to lose!! LOL!! More in a day or so about Africa...

A Sweet Act of Love, Africa Part 3

I told you yesterday that next I would tell you about one of the sweetest acts of service ever done for me... Really, it was just an act of love, pure and simple...

First, let me introduce you to Enoch... This is Enoch with his family, Enoch is on the right.

When mom and S went to Kubuta the first time, Enoch was their guide, they have stayed in touch with him over the last 4 years and it was my blessing to meet him and spend time with him when we went in 2007. He is the most gentle, humble man you could ever hope to meet. His sweet spirit reminds me so much of my grandfather Pop...

I love being around Enoch... He loves to sing and will sing the most beautiful songs for us... Reign Jesus Reign... Amazing Grace... I love it when he sings a verse or two in his language...

Another thing I love about Enoch is how he will stand back and observe a situation and you will hear him quietly saying, "Wow...Wow...Wow..." Sometimes, just riding down the road, you will hear him, almost whisper it... Sometimes he would look at mom and S and I and whisper it... It's pretty humbling because you know that it has NOTHING to do with us, but for the moment, he is just seeing God's love for him, because we do love him with a love that is just not our own...

So the day we went to Kubuta, he went with us... Now Kubuta is in the middle of the mountains, nestled down in a beautiful valley, but it is very lacking in the luxuries of life...like running water...

Now for those of you who (like me) have experienced the wonders of the squatty potty in China, you "bathroomed" in luxury compared to the African long drop! And of course, mom and I had to go to the bathroom in Kubuta...

But as we headed that way, Enoch said, "Wait, let me go check it for critters." "Enoch...what kind of critters?" "Frogs...lizzards..." I didn't want to know any more!

So we waited and a few minutes later he came out and pronounced it all clear... But as I went in, I was overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness...this is what I found...

That sweet man had taken newspaper, torn a hole in the middle, and covered the seat for us so we would have a clean place to sit!

I realize this may seem like such a simple thing... I don't diminish all the amazing things people have done for us over the years, at all...

But to think that a man, who lives on the opposite side of the world...who sees us about once every 2 years, would love us enough to care about where we sat to go to the restroom is one of the most humbling things I could ever imagine... I don't know that I would have even thought about it...

I think in so many ways it touched me like the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet... It was just such a beautiful demonstration of Christ-like humility...

To borrow Enoch's words... wow...wow...wow!

The Pink Blanket, Africa Part 2

Ok... After two really heavy posts, I think I owe you a really great, uplifting story! (I think the last two posts have been pretty revealing about where my heart has been since coming home... A trip to Africa leaves you with A LOT to process!)

First, a little background... In 2005, Mom went on her first trip to Swaziland. On that trip was another man from her church, S... He was on the trip with us in 2007 and again this time. S and his wife B are the most incredible couple... I LOVE their hearts for orphans, Scott and I would love spending time with them if we just lived closer...

On that first trip in 2005, Mom and S spent their entire week working in a little village in the mountains. To say that this village and its people gripped their hearts is an understatement. They have stayed in touch with them through their guide, Enoch and through one of the sons from the village. They went back in 2007 to see them and on this trip, I had the INCREDIBLE blessing of going with them and meeting some of the most gentle, humble people you could ever hope to meet.

On their first trip they met a young man, Sizwe. It was clear how much he loved mom and S by the way he came running when we arrived, look at these hugs and the smile on his face...

Well, months before we left, God moved a sweet woman's heart (the mom of the lady, J, who my mother works for) to crochet a couple of blankets and a beautiful sweater set for mom to take to give to the people in Africa. All of the things were works of art, but there was a pink blanket that really touched my heart.

When I first saw the blanket, I thought, "It is such a shame that she may never know who that went to, that needs to go to someone REALLY special."

And then the night before we left to go to Kubuta, even though mom knew there were babies in the Children's Homes, she felt compelled to take the pink blanket to the people in Kubuta. As I watched her pack it, I thought again, "It needs to go to someone really special...she needs to know who that blanket went to."

I will never forget the moment that mom unpacked the blanket in the back bedroom of the home of Sizwe's mom and dad, Mumcy and Samuel... It is imprinted on my heart forever the look on Sizwe's face as she turned and handed it to him... You see, in the 2 years since they were last there, Sizwe had become a father to a precious baby girl!

There were a lot of amazing moments on our trip, but I think this may be the sweetest for me... You see, I had not thought of the pink blanket again that morning, until mom unpacked it... Even when Sizwe first told us about his daughter, I still didn't remember the pink blanket. It wasn't until mom turned to hand it to Sizwe that I got it...

Months before, on the opposite of the world, God had moved the heart of one of His children to crochet a pink blanket for a little girl we knew nothing about... He knew her by name, He knit her together in her mother's womb, and on that day, He said a resounding, "I love you" all the way from heaven...

In Sunday School this past week, our lesson was on the Holy Spirit and during the hour, our teacher said, "He (the Holy Spirit) calls us to act. He looks around and says, 'Who can I convince to take care of my sheep? Who will hear me?'"

J's mom heard the call and was obedient... And because of her obedience, she blessed the heart of Sizwe, his daughter, his family, my mom, S and me... In her sweet obedience, she reminded me that God is intimately involved in our lives and that He loves us beyond reason and will go to extraordinary measures to remind us....

Hebrews 3:15 says, "Today... (don't miss that...Today...right now...) Today, if you hear my voice, do not harden your hearts..."

Thank you J's mom... Thank you that you didn't harden your heart... Thank you that you listened... Thank you that every stitch in that blanket is a beautiful picture of how much God loves us... I pray that we all will be inspired by you to listen and obey.

Stay tuned, in a day or so (if I can wait that long!), I'll tell you about one of the nicest things that's ever been done for me...

Stories of Africa, Part 1

It's really hard to know where to begin to tell this story... For the last few days I've been wondering if I should just tell separate stories, no particular order, but here's the thing about a trip like this... If you let God, He will use it to change your heart...

He will show you attitudes that you might not like so much, He will root them out and plant the seeds of new attitudes that are pleasing to Him... He will uncover hidden agendas... He will break your heart for the things that break His...

So in many ways, a trip like this is a process... It's definitely not about the person taking the trip, in this case me... But what a tremendous loss it would be to go on a trip like this and not allow God to do a work in your heart...

So I guess the place for me to begin is at the beginning...

When I went to Africa the first time, I spent a good deal of time working in the community... It's not that I don't consider the work in the Children's Homes important, it's VERY important, but it's the people, especially the children, outside the gates of the home, that really grabbed my heart.

Many of them have no one to be an advocate for them... To feed them... To protect them... To teach them... To love them... Many of the children live alone, often raising siblings, doing their best to survive. Our children think about songs on their IPODS, getting to the latest movies, making sports teams, or having snacks to take with their peanut butter and jelly sandwich... The children in Swaziland think about whether or not they will even have one meal that day... The older siblings prostitute themselves to feed their younger siblings...

Again, it is just not a pretty, feel good picture... But it is reality and I think someday God will hold us accountable for ignoring reality... For sticking our heads in the sand and not wanting to know about the orphans that He holds close to His heart...

So when I went, these were the children that I really wanted to love on... I wanted to plant a garden in their community that someone might share their food with them... Or, if they happened to be blessed with a grandmother still living, to plant her a garden so she could feed them (You will often find grandmothers, whose children have died, raising 5,8,11 of her grandchildren... if she is a widow herself, she has no source of income.)

But that was not what God had in store for me on this trip. When we arrived in Swaziland, I learned that there would be no work done in the community, all of the help was needed at the Children's Homes... I was SO disappointed...

The first day out, my mom and I were given the assignment of painting t-shirts, with the girls a the Children's Home and then the shirts would be sold back in America. In Africa, you learn to make do with what you have and so I painted t-shirts, with no pattern, impossible paint and no brushes... When it was time to put the paint on their hands to do the handprints, I used an old corn sack to brush it on...

At the end of the first day, I was so frustrated... All through the night I wrestled with why God had brought me to Africa... Did painting t-shirts even matter? Had I come 8,000+ miles to do something that could easily be done in the states? What was the purpose in all of this? My heart was aching for the children outside the gate...

But at some point during the night, God reminded me once again of Ian's words... "Obedience... just obedience." Maybe God had something going on behind the scenes that I couldn't see... Maybe this really wasn't about painting t-shirts at all...

In the movie the Karate Kid, Mr. Miyagi (the Karate master) has Daniel (his student) do a series of very mundane, repetitive chores... Paint a fence... Sand floors... Wax Cars (Wax on...Wax off)...

Daniel is deeply frustrated, this is just not what he envisioned from learning from the karate master and yet at one point Mr. Miyagi says to him, "Let's make sacred pact... I promise teach karate... That my part... You promise learn... I say, you do, no questions... That you're part..."

And that's how it is in the Christian life... God, through the Holy Spirit is the Master who promises to teach us...to sanctify us...to make us more like Jesus... That's His part... Our part is to do what He says... No questions... "Obedience... Just obedience..."

As I lay there that night, I decided that I would just obey... I would do whatever He sent me to do, it was not mine to decide what was important and what wasn't...

That night I asked God to show me, through out the next day who needed to be loved... That was the cool thing about painting the t-shirts... I got to interact with the children... I could be interrupted and teach them how to use my camera... I could stop what I was doing and work with the ladies and children who were threshing, husking and chaffing the corn... It was wonderful... A tremendous blessing!

Threshing...


Husking...


Chaffing...

At the end of the mindless chores in Karate Kid, Mr. Miyagi begins to show Daniel how ALL of what he had been doing... Painting, waxing, sanding... Were actually the moves of the defensive blocks in Karate... Daniel thought he was learning nothing about karate, when in fact he was learning some of the most important moves he could know...

And obedience to God is one of the most important moves we can know... It guards our heart... It keeps us on God's path... It protects us from the world and keeps us close to Him.

Painting the t-shirts was my "wax on...wax off..." and yet, I learned more about obedience in that simple act than I've learned in most of my years as a Christian...

Back From Africa

I hardly know where to begin this post... When you start a journey like the one I just took, you can't help but have expectations, whether you know it or not... Somewhere deep inside your heart, God likes to uncover hidden agendas, ungodly attitudes and places where you've put Him in a box...

Thankfully, God had put Ian, the President of Heart for Africa, in our path before we left, and He used him to prepare my heart for what was to come...

I asked Ian, "What attitude do you have in your heart when you travel to Africa? Do you just go with a heart to love them? Encourage them? What are you thinking?"

He barely even had to think before he answered... "Obedience...just obedience." He encouraged me to always be present, listening for God's guidance, as we went through the trip.

The trip turned out to be nothing like I expected and yet it was abundantly more than I dreamed... Over the next week or two, I'll tell you my stories, share some photos and tell you the lessons I learned, but I want to tell you a little about Swaziland first, I think it's important to have some context about why it is a nation in desperate need of the hands and feet of God...the church. Be aware, this is not a pretty, feel good picture I'm about to paint...

Swaziland has a population of just over 900,000 people, it has a NEGATIVE population growth rate... It is a dying country, AIDS is killing it's people at a breathtaking rate... When I went in 2007, the incidence of AIDS was 42%, now different sources estimate it to be between 42-46% (it is the highest in the world)... Essentially that means that 1 out of every 2 people you meet is HIV positive.

There are 120,000 orphans in the country, that's over 10% of their population, and it's predicted that by then end of 2010, there will 200,000 orphans, 20% of their total population.

And think about this.... It is predicted that by the year 2020, there will essentially be no adults left living in the country... Can you imagine a country filled with children, 18 and younger?

Unemployment is 40%+, 70% live below the poverty line, and the average life span is 29 years... Are you getting the desperateness of their situation?

Families live on garbage dumps... Children, young children, are left alone to care for themselves and their younger siblings (it is estimated that there are over 5000 orphan headed households in the country...based on some things I learned, I think that is probably just the tip of the iceberg) They are often the victims of rape and abuse and so they end up HIV positive too... They have no one to feed them, protect them, care for them, love them... Their life is a fight to survive...

I met people who do their best to reach out to the orphan headed households in their community, but with 70% living below the poverty line, many of these people barely have enough food to put on their own tables... Every where I turned, the silent, but screaming need was simply for food... (Aren't you glad you read my blog today?!)

I have fallen in love with this country...

It is stunningly beautiful and most of the people you meet are gracious, humble and friendly. I was so happy to come home and see my family, but I really wished my family would just come to Swaziland, 10 days just wasn't long enough...

And let me just say this, even though my heart broke over the things I saw and experienced, I was blessed beyond my wildest imagination and I have never laughed so hard... One of the couples on our trip was Ron and Kerri Pomarolli, they are HYSTERICAL Christian comedians and they kept us laughing, but let me tell you, that girl could pray too!

It's good to be home, but my heart will never be the same... I look forward to telling you more.

Going Behind The Veil...

In just a few hours my mother and I step onto an airplane and fly to Africa! I am so excited...

Our topic in Sunday School, yesterday, was the leading of the Holy Spirit. And as we looked at Acts 19-21, where Paul feels compelled to go back to Jerusalem, in spite of the dangers that lay ahead, it occurred to me that what God calls us to do is not always logical and wise, by the world's standards...

And I thought about this trip to Africa and how that certainly characterizes this trip... We have 4 children... 1 adopted child only home for a year... My husband's division has just landed a HUGE contract... Could we say a recipe for stress?

And yet, we both have such utter peace that this is what I'm supposed to do... The 'we' is so important, because I think I've said this before, I firmly believe that God will NEVER lead a husband and wife in two different directions... He is a God of unity!

And as I thought about my peace, I thought about how God used a sweet bloggy friend of mine to confirm this trip for me in such a BIG way... If you missed that post, you can read about it here... God is So Cool

Thank you dear friend, your act of obedience is my remembering stone that God used to give me TOTAL certainty that I am supposed to be on this trip!

So today we leave... Right now I am somewhere else in the south at my mom's so we can fly out together. Just a little while ago, I had the incredible blessing of meeting Ian, who is the President of Heart For Africa (I met his wife when she led our first trip, they are one amazing couple!)...

But as mom and I talked to Ian and listened to his God stories, it occurred to me once again, that one of the things that I LOVE about Africa is that you see God in such a BIG way... He shows up in the most unbelievable details... His fingerprints are EVERYWHERE!! And as I thought about this, it occurred to me that going to Africa is like going behind the veil... It offers a glimpse of heaven and the amazing power of God that I just miss in the land of plenty... America.

It's funny how we talk so much about the blessing of living in the US, but sometimes I have to question, "is it really?" When my focus is on abundance...freedom...safety...then yes, living in America is an incredible blessing. But when my focus is on a passion to see God, then all of the stuff of America can be pretty distracting...

Ian said something that I will write in my Bible and NEVER forget... He said that he "lives in a constant state of awe of God." Is that the coolest thing? "A constant state of awe of God..." THAT is what I want for my life! Is it possible in the US? Absolutely... Is it harder? Yes...because of all of the stuff... Very few of us experience being utterly dependent on God's provision...or being desperate for His power in our lives, we are just far too self sufficient.

So as I head to Africa, I go with a heart that can't wait to see Him... I pray that this time God will capture my heart in a way that even when I come back to the land of distraction, my experience of Him will be so BIG that I will guard my heart at all costs from being pulled away from Him, by anything!

As one of my favorite hymns says, "Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee... Prone to wander Lord I feel, prone to leave the God I love, here's my heart on take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above..."

May God, once and for all, bind my wandering heart to Him.

I probably won't be able to blog for the next 2 weeks... But I will journal the whole time and share that with you when I come back (and lots of photos!) If God should bring us to mind, would you pray for our safety, that we would simply be empty vessels that God will use however He likes and for Scott and the kids...for peace, for safety, for order... And that Abby would know in the depths of her heart that mommy is coming home!

On that note, I'll leave you with 2 Abby stories... Yesterday she brought something to me that she had made...but I'm not allowed to open it until I get to Africa, I will honor that, but I can't wait to see what it is... She had Scott write it for her, but he said the words are all hers... That's all I know.

And as I was leaving yesterday, Abby said, "Just one.... mommy!" My heart sank because I didn't understand her and I thought she was telling me, just one hug. But I asked her what she said and she said, "Just one kiss mommy." Abby NEVER lets me kiss her! That so touched my heart! And then I asked her for a big hug and she put both of her arms around me and really hugged!

Pray that God will use this time to show her that this is for real... she can trust me... that I ALWAYS come back!

Have a blessed 2 weeks... I can't wait to share what God shows us when we get to go a little closer to heaven!

Back From The Lake!

We just had an AWESOME week with our best friends, at the lake, somewhere else in the south! We met our friends, 10 years ago, within a few months of moving to the city we live in and we've been great friends ever since... Our kids have grown up together... The adults have grown up together... We go to church together... Scott and R. work together... L. and I are in Bible study together and we live 3 houses apart (we hired a sitter and went looking for our houses together!)...

They've ridden the ups and downs of our lives with us and they are such a blessing to us... I've lost track of how many summers we've gone to the lake, but every summer, L's parents are so generous to let us come to their lake house for a week and we have a BLAST! It's an extra treat when her parents come and hang out with us some... I LOVE her mom and dad...

But anyway, this was an extra special year since it was Abby's first trip to the lake... The girl is a trooper! She tried it all! Swimming... Tubing... An impossible photomosaic puzzle (L and I do puzzles every summer)... And get this... Fishing!! She LOVED fishing!!

I'll post some of my favorite photos here and put a bunch more on my photo blog...!











Uncle S... Nick is following in your footsteps!



2 Years ago, we did a family trip to the beach... My uncle S. (from a Tribute to Pocket T's) challenged Nick to a bet... Whoever caught the next fish, the other had to eat the eyeball (Totally gross!) So Uncle S lost the bet and had to eat the eyeball... Nick of course accepted the re-challenge and lost the second time... So this next photo is a tribute to my uncle!!









Ok... There's a taste... Stop by the photo blog and see the full size versions and lots more fun!