You can see them coming for days... They build and build... the moods get snitty...the talking subsides...the laughter all but disappears...every little thing is a big deal...and then she cries...
Since we came home, Abby's grieving periods have been like thunderstorms...they build up and then the bottom falls out, but afterwards, the air is so fresh and clean...
I had seen it coming since her birthday...probably before that and then last Saturday, when she had to clean her room with Mackenzie, the bottom fell out of the tear cloud... Finally, she sat down on a step with me and cried and cried. I knew it wasn't really about cleaning their room, she just needed to grieve.
Each time this happens, she emerges as a breath of fresh air, but this time has been different, she's been more like a ray of sunshine. It's almost like, as each storm passes, she becomes more and more of who she really is, it's quite amazing to watch...
This week, since the storm, she's been a singing star..."You wanna hear a song...gooooood....let's go!"... a Barbie cheerleader... a little model... a hairstylist... She has played with me...made me laugh...she has been the sunshine after the storm.
Tonight she went with me to take a meal to a mom who recently had a baby... We ran by the grocery store before we went and everything I said was met with an "Aw maaaan..."
The conversation went something lie this...
"Abby, we're going to see a lady who just had a baby..."
"She had a baby? Aw maaan... Why?"
"Because God wanted her to..."
"Aw maaan...how old is she?"
"I don't know, old enough to have a baby..."
I was so tickled, I couldn't stop laughing! Later I was telling Scott that Abby had a new word... "Aw maaan, " Abby said, "But you learned it to me." "Abby, you mean I taught you that?" "Mommy, you learned it to me." I looked at Scott and his eyes confirmed what she was saying... It's like living my own reality tv show... I get to see (and hear) myself as I really am...
To adopt an older child is to experience the blessing of seeing God's restoring power first hand... What God created in the garden was really special, but then sin messed it up... In redemption and restoration we find the person that God intended for us to be...
Who am I?
That's easy... First, I am a daughter of the KING (That's what the Bible tells me! I LOVE saying that!!) My faith is central to everything I do, but it's a about a relationship, not a set of rules!
I am also WIFE to my most amazing husband for 24 years!
I am MOM to 4 fantastic children!
And after all that, I am founder/owner/designer of Designing For Hope (jewelry for a purpose)... My business that makes my mission trips to Swaziland, in Africa, possible!
So far I've been 7 times... I go to visit the part of my heart that stays behind with the people I've grown to love.