You can see them coming for days... They build and build... the moods get snitty...the talking subsides...the laughter all but disappears...every little thing is a big deal...and then she cries...
Since we came home, Abby's grieving periods have been like thunderstorms...they build up and then the bottom falls out, but afterwards, the air is so fresh and clean...
I had seen it coming since her birthday...probably before that and then last Saturday, when she had to clean her room with Mackenzie, the bottom fell out of the tear cloud... Finally, she sat down on a step with me and cried and cried. I knew it wasn't really about cleaning their room, she just needed to grieve.
Each time this happens, she emerges as a breath of fresh air, but this time has been different, she's been more like a ray of sunshine. It's almost like, as each storm passes, she becomes more and more of who she really is, it's quite amazing to watch...
This week, since the storm, she's been a singing star..."You wanna hear a song...gooooood....let's go!"... a Barbie cheerleader... a little model... a hairstylist... She has played with me...made me laugh...she has been the sunshine after the storm.
Tonight she went with me to take a meal to a mom who recently had a baby... We ran by the grocery store before we went and everything I said was met with an "Aw maaaan..."
The conversation went something lie this...
"Abby, we're going to see a lady who just had a baby..."
"She had a baby? Aw maaan... Why?"
"Because God wanted her to..."
"Aw maaan...how old is she?"
"I don't know, old enough to have a baby..."
"Aw maaan..."
I was so tickled, I couldn't stop laughing! Later I was telling Scott that Abby had a new word... "Aw maaan, " Abby said, "But you learned it to me." "Abby, you mean I taught you that?" "Mommy, you learned it to me." I looked at Scott and his eyes confirmed what she was saying... It's like living my own reality tv show... I get to see (and hear) myself as I really am...
To adopt an older child is to experience the blessing of seeing God's restoring power first hand... What God created in the garden was really special, but then sin messed it up... In redemption and restoration we find the person that God intended for us to be...
6 comments:
Sharla,
I love being a part of your journey with you, because it sounds so much like the life we are living. The storms come and go like waves on the ocean. But the "Awww Man" conversation could have been recorded in our home. Keziah learned it from Dora, and I hear it all day every day!
Thanks for today's giggle,
Lara
Minus the beginning being so sad, but also happy... I was cracking up at the Awww man! So funny!
Such an interesting insight you have into Abby. You were meant to be her mother!
You are the greatest!
Wishing you were next door!
Hugs,
April
Sharla, I know about those storms. S has them too and now I can really see them coming. They are less and less, but they still come.
About that last picture, Scott better watch out! She looks so OLD in that photo! Wow, she is beautiful.
Can't wait to catch up some more! I am still REELING from our discovery! ;)
And I'm praying we can meet soon!!!
She is soooo beautiful! I laughed out loud to the "Awww man..." It is funny (and a little scary) hearing them pick up on the phrases that we say without thinking about it.
What a journey!
I just love the pictures and stories you post of Abby. She remings me so much in looks of my daughter they could almost be sisters. What a blessing.
I love your honesty and your insights that you share.
Your daughter is a beauty, and you are both so blessed to have each other!
Barb
Post a Comment