Friday, November 27, 2009

Still Processing Africa...

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving!  It has been a wonderful few days for us...  Wednesday was Scott's birthday, then Thanksgiving Day with our close friends and then up to the mountains to cut our Christmas tree and the annual stop at Sonic for lunch!  It is so fun watching Abby immerse herself in our traditions, she thoroughly enjoyed herself today...  I'll post some photos later in the week when I get them downloaded.

I think the highlight of the day though was when I was watching a Christmas movie with the girls...  Abby noticed that Mackenzie had laid her head in my lap and I think she actually got jealous...  She came over, crawled up on the edge of my lap and began to nudge Mackenzie out of the way.  As time goes on, I wouldn't allow that, but that was a first, so we found a compromise and Abby ended up sitting in my lap for the rest of the movie!  Even after almost 18 months, she still can make my heart jump for joy when we cross another milestone!!

So back to processing Africa...  It's been kind of an odd Thanksgiving for me, in that I'm still trying to process all that we saw in Swaziland,  I'm really searching to understand how God wants me to respond...

As much as I loved Thanksgiving and all of the wonderful food, little Esther at the garbage dump was never far from my thoughts.  I still see her face, it's like God has burned her image onto my heart...  A part of me wishes that we had found somewhere to go and serve food to those in need...  Or maybe we should have found a family that couldn't afford to have Thanksgiving and helped them...  I don't know, but somehow I couldn't get comfortable with how much we had...  And that we did nothing for someone else.

It's an odd place to be right now...  I want to be so careful not to beat my kids up with all that we experienced, and yet, they need to know the reality of this world...  All of our hearts need to be changed by the truth of what people are living through...

The other thing I'm wrestling with is Christmas...  I know that God wants us to enjoy our blessings from Him, but what is 'enjoyment' and what is 'indulgence?'  Where does gift giving...fun...enjoyment...cross the line into selfishness...extravagance...greed?

I really don't know the answer to these questions...  And maybe that's the point, maybe God just wants us to wrestle with those questions...  To begin to look at life sacrificially...  For opportunities where we can give up something we don't need for someone who is need...

I think I'll be processing this last trip to Africa for a very long time...

4 comments:

trina said...

I think I know what you are feeling. I haven't been to Africa but I know what you mean (I think) of just our time with the homeless in our town. I thank God so much for our many blessings. He has blessed us so much. He could have chosen to give me a life like theirs..but he didn't. And I am always struggling to feel 'comfortable' enjoying these blessings. I totally understand what you mean by the faces of those left behind. I can never forget...and I think that is why I will always 'remind' others to search their heart to adopt...or help others to adopt. Sometimes I might come across as a crazy lady. Sadly, many don't care to hear the details of the faces that are left behind. They are comfortable in their world. It's too disturbing for them to look at the faces...so they choose not look and not listen and stay comfortable. It would be easier that way..'what we don't know..won't consume us.' Anyway, Thanks for sharing. You have reminded me to share with our kids more often. They always need to be reminded. We all do. I sure wish we would have taken the boys to an orphanage in China. It has made a difference in Alexis's heart and I wish the boys' could have experienced the same. Every adopted family needs to visit an orphanage while in China. Life changing. Hugs my friend. I miss you.

April Isaacs said...

Sharla, I have been wrestling with the same kinds of questions. I don't have the answers. Most of the time, I don't even know where to begin to help with bigger things like Africa. Here, I try to always give when I know of a need. It just never seems like enough.

Is it time to go to Heaven yet? I'm tired:-)

Hugs,
April

Cammie Howard said...

Sharla- I think your questions are good as a follower of Christ. It is good for us to ask questions like you did...what is healthy gift giving/enjoyment and what is indulgence? It is so easy to get caught up in what our society does and promotes,even as believers. keep asking the questions!! God is calling you deeper.

Wife of the Pres. said...

Oh Sharla, I am so right where you are and I can't imagine it for you as you SAW firsthand.

After I went shopping on Friday, I felt sick to my stomach. I was telling someone close to me about our spending limit for each child (about $50) and she thought I was depriving our children. I was dumbfounded she would feel that way.

Am I really? I feel like sometimes I beat my kids over the head so to speak to with all the comments about how blessed we are. BUT WE ARE!

Our pastor shared a sermon the week before Thanksgiving that really rocked my world. In short, he said "it is great to feed orphans and clothe naked people, but if we aren't sharing the gospel with them we've missed it!"

Really? Have we though? What did Jesus do? He MET THEIR NEEDS!!! I am just heartsick at the apathy even in the church. Until the leaders rise up, I think America at large will continue to bask in her BLESSINGS and INDULGENCE.

As for Esther, is she the one sucking her 3 fingers??? She ripped my heart out (the one sucking her 3 fingers) b/c she reminded me so much of LM. She sucks her 3 fingers too. In fact, I shared your Africa posts w/ Charlie and he had to turn away when he saw the little girl with her 3 fingers and the stickiness from the rotten banana. He was fighting back tears.

Sharla, I'm praying for you. I'm going to email you gain. I had sent one but I have another thought I'd like to share about an opportunity.